Part 2 (1/2)
”This is a strange-looking thing.” Edna held up Anica's wand. ”Is it a pen? I don't see any point.”
Anica laughed. ”Oh, that. Just a piece of driftwood I picked up and polished because I thought it was pretty. Then I saw something on TV about using a st.u.r.dy pointed object for self-defense, so I decided to carry it.” The more she had to lie, the less comfy she felt.
”We wouldn't need to defend ourselves if men were all neutered,” Edna said darkly. Eventually she located Anica's keys and opened the door to her apartment. Orion was at the door, paws prancing in delight. Then he sniffed the air and backed up, growling. Obviously he'd smelled Jasper.
”Don't forget. First thing, get him fixed,” Edna said.
”To be sure. Thanks for the help, Miss Shoumatoff.” Anica stepped into her apartment and shoved the door closed with her hip. Orion was gone, probably hiding in the cupboard underneath the kitchen sink.
As she began to lower her bundle to the floor, Jasper gave a mighty heave and broke free, wiggling out of his confinement. Dropping globs of chocolate mousse on her beige carpet, he streaked toward the nearest open door, which happened to be her bedroom.
She ran after him. ”No! Don't go under the . . .” A smear of chocolate mousse on her white Belgian lace bed skirt marked Jasper's pa.s.sage. She dropped to her knees beside the bed. She thought he might be black, although the mousse all over his coat made it hard to tell.
She'd forgotten all about the mousse, but the take-out carton must have been under the pile of clothes. She'd scooped up cat and mousse together. Someday she might have the distance from this horrible experience to laugh about that. But this wasn't that day.
Lifting the bed skirt, she peered under the bed. ”Jasper, please come out.”
Jasper was nothing more than a dark shadow hunkered under the exact middle of the double bed.
”We have to clean that mousse off.”
He didn't move.
”I can't work a spell to change you back to a man unless you come out.”
No response.
”Look, I can see why you wouldn't trust me. You may not believe this, but I've never turned a person into an animal in my entire career as a witch. I'm not proud of losing my temper like that, but what's done is done. Now I have to fix you.”
Jasper growled.
”Sorry, bad word choice. I have to transform you. I won't let anyone near you with a scalpel, I promise. Now, come on out, like a-” She stopped herself before she called him a good kitty. Jasper was not a cat, no matter how much he might look like one at the moment.
Or act like one. That maneuver of running under the bed was very catlike. While she was mostly horrified at what she'd done to another human being, she couldn't help being curious about how this transformation had affected Jasper.
Would he still think like a man or would he think like a cat? Would he develop a taste for cat food or would he crave a human diet? Would he hate the idea of a bath and prefer to lick the mousse off himself?
Yikes. Chocolate was fine for people but potentially bad for cats. ”Listen, Jasper, if you feel the urge to lick that mousse, don't. Some cats have a severe reaction to chocolate. It makes them very sick.”
She believed he understood human speech, so she decided to add a clincher to the warning. ”If you ingest the chocolate, you could end up at the vet, and I'm sure my vet would insist on vaccinating and neutering you.”
Jasper hissed his disapproval but didn't change positions.
She was getting nowhere. Maybe she should go to her living room bookshelves and find the musty old book where she'd first read this transformation charm. She could research the counterspell while sitting here minding the cat.
”I'm leaving to get the book I need to help you, Jasper.” She stood and took off her coat. ”I'll only be gone a minute, and I'll close the bedroom door so Orion can't get in.” Laying her coat on the bed, she walked toward the door. ”And remember, don't lick.”
Lick himself? Eeeuuuing out until he woke up.
The whole date with Anica must have been part of this crummy bad dream. He could hardly wait to wake up so he could laugh about it. The part about Sheila being at the restaurant-he could figure that out. Apparently he had a secret fear that she'd arrive unannounced and mess up his deal with Anica.
As for Anica being a witch, maybe it was the black coat that looked like a cape. Or maybe it was that chance remark his buddy Fred had made the other day at work that Anica seemed to have cast a spell over him. The brain was amazing. Somehow it had put the cape and Fred's remark together and come up with witchcraft.
The cat transformation wasn't so tough to decipher, either, now that he thought about it. He'd always considered himself something of a tomcat, a man about town. All that talk about neutering was pretty scary, though. A shrink would probably have a field day with that part.
The door opened and closed. His hearing had improved considerably in this dream, and his sense of smell was outstanding. He knew Anica was in the room even before she spoke.
Her spicy perfume had seemed faint in real life. The scent was so much stronger now. Other smells a.s.saulted him, as well, but two caught his attention. One he identified as belonging to another cat, the one he'd sensed when he'd first arrived in the apartment, and the second distinctive aroma was Anica's. It came across as strongly as if he'd had his nose buried between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
”Still under there, Jasper?” She was in her nylons, so she must have taken off the s.e.xy black heels.
Kneeling down, she lifted the lace bed skirt and peeked under the bed. ”I brought the book.” She laid something as big as an unabridged dictionary on the carpet. ”I should be able to find the counterspell, no problem.”
Now that his panic had eased, Jasper felt like making some sort of response. What came out was a very ordinary meow. It didn't sound particularly manly, either, so he tried again, determined to make the sound deeper. Still too high-pitched for his taste.
”So you're talking! Does that mean you're ready to come out?”
No way, Jose.
”When I start to do the spell, I'm sure you'll want to be somewhere other than under my bed. I don't think you'll fit once you're human again. Plus you'll be-uh-naked. You might want to be somewhere you could grab a towel, like in the bathroom.”
Maybe this nightmare could turn into a good dream, after all. If his cat self transformed into his naked man self, and Anica was still part of the equation, they could have dream s.e.x. Sure, she'd turned him into a cat, but it was all a dream, so he could forgive her.
”Jasper? Come on. Don't be stubborn.”
On the other hand, this spot under the bed had served him well so far. Tucking his paws under his body, he prepared to wait her out.
Cats were good at waiting, he discovered. The s.p.a.ce under this double bed was very small. He smelled old wood and lemon oil. It was probably an antique. This dream was the most detailed one he'd ever had.
”I really can't leave you under there. I'm going to levitate the bed.”
Holy c.r.a.p! Could she do that? She was a witch in this dream, so anything was possible. Jasper tensed, his tail twitching, as he wondered if his hiding place would rise up to the ceiling. He'd run again if it did. There had to be other hidey-holes in this apartment, and he'd find them. A cat, he was discovering, could fit in very small s.p.a.ces.
Anica murmured something in Latin, but the bed didn't move. ”Huh. That always worked when I needed to vacuum up the dust bunnies.” She chanted again. Still the bed remained on the carpeted floor.
She sighed. ”All right. For some reason that spell has a glitch in it. I might as well quit fooling around and do this the normal way. Be right back.”
Jasper didn't know what the normal way entailed, but when Anica returned, he found out. She shoved a broom under the bed.
He freaked. Rationally, he shouldn't freak. It was a broom, for chrissakes. As a man, he didn't have a single negative reaction to a broom. As a cat, he hated brooms. He hated this one in particular, which had a thick, round handle with carvings on it. Without knowing for sure, he decided it was a witch's broom.
”I need you to get out of there,” Anica said. ”Come on. Go.” She moved the broom back and forth under the bed.
Jasper tried to hold his ground, but in the end he bolted. He ran for the bedroom door, but that was shut tight. He tried to squeeze under her dresser, but no dice. The sliding mirrored closet doors were closed, too. The only escape was through the bathroom door, and that was a dead end.