Part 7 (1/2)
”Oh, s.h.i.+t. Here I am bringing up something you don't want to talk-”
Act like nothing's changed. That's not a terrible lie. ”No, like I said, I'm in Phoenix visiting my friend Terri. We've been talking about it nonstop. I just don't want to talk to Marina about it. This is the first time I can ever remember her trying to get me to open up about something and me not wanting to.”
”How long have you been together?”
”Just over a year. No, wait, a year and a half. How about you?”
”We had our third anniversary in September. I thought it was supposed to take seven years to get the urge to cheat.”
”That must be the average,” Callie said, chuckling at Regan's dry humor. ”Probably takes some people fourteen years, and some jerks cheat on their honeymoons.” Jerks like Marina.
”I guess it could be worse, huh? I'm sure this is Angela's first time.”
”I wish it hadn't ever happened. And I'm sorry my girlfriend was involved. That makes me feel responsible somehow.”
”No more than I am. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do now. Do you know what I mean?”
”I know exactly what you mean. I thought I'd leave immediately, but I hung on like I was waiting for something else to happen. Good or bad. Just something.” Like finding out Marina's been with your girlfriend since we got together.
”You know, that's how it feels for me too. Like I need another piece of information.”
”Yeah, that's it. Marina's been really nice, but that hasn't helped. She actually offered to take me to Acapulco this weekend and I refused. This the first time she ever offered to pay for me to go anywhere cool, but I didn't want to be with her.”
Regan's voice grew even softer. ”Angela's coming home from Acapulco tonight.”
”You know, I tried not to think about that, but it makes sense she'd be at a national sales conference. I'm surprised that Marina wanted me to go.”
”Angela offered to take me, too. Do you think they both wanted some protection?”
”Maybe.” Even though it was like pulling teeth, she liked talking to this woman. It was nice to have someone who really understood how it felt. The important thing was making Regan aware of Marina's history so she could protect herself. ”Uhm...I'm not sure how to do this elegantly, but you should be using protection.”
”Protection? What kinda protection?”
”Uhm...protection from STDs. Marina claims she's always practiced safe s.e.x, but I can't guarantee that's true.”
”Oh, f.u.c.k.” She took in an audible breath. ”Have you done that?”
”We haven't had s.e.x since this happened, but we always have. She's ready to get back to business, but I guess I've been too hurt. I tell her the vibes are off.”
”There aren't any vibes at all in our house.”
”That makes sense. She has to regain your trust.”
”No, that's not it. Our troubles go back a long way.”
”But you've only been together for three years.”
”Yeah, I know. I think part of the reason Angela cheated was because of our problems. And that sucks,” she said emphatically.
”Wanna talk about it?
She waited a beat. ”Aren't we?”
Even though Callie couldn't see her, she was sure Regan was smiling. Her voice had changed just a little bit, gotten a little lighter. ”Yes, I guess we are. Do you want to add anything? Or should I just guess?”
”You can probably guess and hit it right on the head. It's the all-too-common, lesbian bed death.”
”I don't know a lot about that, but three years sounds awfully fast for death.”
”Try less than one year,” Regan said, clearly disgusted. ”And the thing that makes me the maddest is that she's been telling me there's nothing wrong. It's always because she's tired or she has to go on a trip or she just got back from a trip or she has PMS or somebody next door has PMS, or someone down the block just got back from a trip...”
”Uhm, if this isn't too rude, why are you still with her?”
”Because I made a promise to her. I didn't want another casual girlfriend. I wanted somebody to build a life with, and I thought Angela was that woman. There are so many things about her I respect and admire, but when it comes to s.e.x, she seems completely incapable of discussing it and working through our problems.”
”You know, Marina's a bit like that too, but about other things. I guess I'm lucky that we get along really well s.e.xually.”
”You are, but I think every couple has something that doesn't work. I was very willing to hang in and work this out. But having Angela cheat on me made me doubt everything I believed about her.” She took a big breath and once again it sounded ragged. ”She broke my heart, and I don't know how it'll ever heal.”
”Oh, Regan, I feel so bad for you. I wish I could help you heal faster.”
”I'm sorry I'm such an emotional mess. I'm not sleeping, and when I do fall asleep, I wake up with nightmares. I don't normally cry much, but I guess being exhausted makes me more emotional.”
”Anybody would cry from this.”
”Do you?”
”Uhm...to be honest...not a lot. Maybe that's something to think about, huh?”
”It might be. I don't know how you normally handle things.”
”I can get pretty emotional. I've tried to figure out why this hasn't impacted me the way it has you, but I've struck out.”
”Well, having your agreement probably makes it less of a shock.” Callie didn't respond immediately and Regan quickly said, ”I hope that didn't sound judgmental. I can't imagine being in an open relations.h.i.+p, but it's not fair of me to think that being cheated on isn't painful no matter how it comes about.”
”Thanks. What you said did hurt a little bit.”
”See? That's what adults do. They apologize when they say or do something hurtful, and then they get over it. How do I make Angela be like me?” She laughed again, clearly teasing.
”I don't want Marina to be like me, luckily. Pigs will fly before that would happen.
”Well, I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to hang in, but I don't think I'm ready to give up yet.”
”I don't know what your schedule's usually like, but I work from home, and I can make time to talk to you any time you feel like it. Promise me you'll call.”
”Thanks, Callie. I will. It's helped a lot to talk to you.”