Chapter 2 (1/2)
”We're getting married.”
It was late at night when Naomi called. At the time, I was digging through piles of records in hopes of stumbling upon some cash or something edible.
”Really...... Hmm? That's not important...... I thought I remembered dumping some instant ramen here?”
”What do you mean 'not important'!?”
My head crashed into the desk when I tried to dodge that ear-piercing roar from the phone, causing the records stacked on the desk to tumble down on me like debris from the eruption of Mount Vesuvius.
”Tetsurou? What was that noise? What happened? You okay?”
”Ugh, I'm fine. Furtwängler's portrait is now crooked...... How am I supposed to tell what's right-side up now? Oh right, so when's the wedding dinner?”
”Eh? Urm...... well...... not that soon.”
”If only you were holding the wedding dinner right after this...... I'm really hungry, you know? How about a full course French dinner?”
”I'm an idiot for letting you be the first person to know......”
”Ah, hold on, my bad!”
I pushed through the layer of record covers and finally crawled out of the room, then switched the cellphone to my other hand.
”And so? Who's getting married?”
”You mind listening to me seriously for once!? I am!”
”Eeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh?”
I missed my step on the stairs and, in response, swung my limbs about in a fl.u.s.ter. As my body flipped around in the air, I managed to grab the banister, then planted my b.u.t.t on the rail and slid my way down to the first floor. Pretty impressive acrobatics, if I do say so myself. But I still ended up cras.h.i.+ng headfirst into the corner of the wall. That freaking hurts.
”Eh? Urm...... Do you have any idea what you're talking about, Lil' Nao? We're talking about marriage here, yeah? Where you can naturally get a girl pregnant just by being together?”
”Like that's ever gonna happen! Why are you trying to teach false things about s.e.x to your son that's already twenty-four years old?”
”But in Lil' Nao's case, you just appeared in this world without me knowing what had happened......”
”What~!?!?”
”Ahaha, just kiddin'! You're the culmination of love between Misako and I!”
”That doesn't sound any better! Ahh, whatever, do as you please.”
I rubbed my head and sat down on the first step of the staircase.
”You're talking about marriage, but who are you wedding?”
”Who else? Who else could it be but Mafuyu?”
”Oh, plenty! Like Chiaki or Kagurazaka Kyouko?”
”Nah, that's impossible.”
”How about that blonde violinist?”
”Yuri's a guy, d.a.m.n it!”
”You blurted his name right out away even though I didn't say it. Now that's just suspicious, don't you think?”
*Duuuu* The call was disconnected. It was just a joke. As always, his boiling point is too low.
I stood up and brushed the dust off my T-s.h.i.+rt, then walked past the orange lights and into the living room, to pull a record off the rack in the dark. It was probably a habit born from my job, but I always selected music that would allow me to show off my professional knowledge whenever the situation called for it.
”Marriage huh...... I forgot when he said this, but I do remember him talking about how marriage was unnecessary or something, right? He's matured over time”—I thought to myself.
But it doesn't feel real at all.
I mean, he is someone that has been taking care of himself (and even me as well) ever since he was young. I'm not sure, but maybe that's why I thought he wasn't someone that would have the same ”urges” you would expect of a child. I even expected him to live out his entire life single.
After all, he would never be getting married if it hadn't been for that one moment of impulse!
Now, what should I listen to on a night like this? Opera? <the marriage=”” of=”” figaro=””> seems like overkill, since it discusses who has the right to get laid on the wedding night; and I'd feel sorry for Nao for that...... <lucia di=”” lammermoor=””>...... That's about political marriages......
I ended up choosing <turandot>. The princess that slaughtered her suitors, and the prince from an unknown land that was in love with the princess—it was a story about an impulsive marriage. So that makes Eb.i.+.c.hiri Emperor Altoum? Pwahaha, there is no way he would agree to the marriage.
Eh? Wait...... so that means, Eb.i.+.c.hiri and I...... are about to become in-laws?
Gotta call him right away.
”What time do you think it is right now?”
Eb.i.+.c.hiri didn't sound very happy.
”Mmm...... I have some questions for you. Can you hear the song I'm listening to?”
”<turandot>..... The duet between Princess Turandot and Calàf, right? What about it? It is already midnight!”
”Right, right. So I was suddenly struck with a question: after the princess and the prince wed, what becomes of the relations.h.i.+p between their fathers? Specifically speaking, Emperor Altoum and King Timur?”
”Quit beating around the bush if you are talking about Mafuyu and Naomi's marriage.”
”Whoa.” I nearly dropped the phone on the floor. ”W-What? So you already knew?”
”I more or less poked around regarding their views on the matter, and I did ask Mafuyu if she had the intention to marry. I never got a clear answer from her, but since she will be s.h.i.+fting the focus of her job back to j.a.pan—”
”Ah, so I'm a step ahead of you regarding the news! Yay~ I win! Nao called me just now to tell me they'd be getting married!”
”Really? He reached his decision pretty fast this time around.”
I sank myself deep into the sofa and lowered my voice.
”You know...... can you be just a little bit more...... surprised or something? I made this call just so I could enjoy your fl.u.s.tered reaction!”
”It is not like I exist in this world just to make you happy.”
”What!? Haven't you been my plaything this whole time?”
Eb.i.+.c.hiri ignored my words without hesitation.
”Not only is Naomi indecisive, he is also strangely lacking in confidence. Moreover, his future is not too bright, so I am not too a.s.sured by him......”
”Oh geez, I wonder just who his parents are? Eh...... That's me!”
Eb.i.+.c.hiri had no intention of playing along with me, so I was forced to go along with my own joke. And thinking about it—doing things like this in the living room in the middle of the night amidst the glamorous orchestra of Puccini..... feels really freaking empty.
”But aside from those issues, Naomi is a pretty dependable person. Mafuyu is not like a typical person—there are lots of things she does not know how to do...... but Naomi happens to be great at housework. In a way, I think Mafuyu has found the right partner for herself.”
”Because Nao's practically my wife! Ah, you gotta listen to this, Eb.i.+.c.hiri. It's been years since Nao has moved out of the house, but I only learned how to change the toilet rolls just recently! How's that!?”
”I have a rehearsal tomorrow morning, so I will be hanging up.”
”Can't I get a response or two from you!? I'm feeling really lonely right now!”
”Get somebody else to accompany you if you cannot fall asleep!”
I realized something all of a sudden, so I lifted my legs onto the sofa and curled myself up while hugging my knees. Here goes my final question.
”...... Question. Could it be that...... I am the only one that's getting all fl.u.s.tered?”
”Took you long enough.”
And with that, the call was disconnected. I left my arms dangling behind the sofa and leaned my head against the back. While staring at the dark ceiling, I s.p.a.ced out to the resounding tenor of Mario Del Monaco.
Princess Turandot wasn't prepared for marriage even after the prince had solved her difficult questions, so the princess, at her wits' end, ended up crying in front of her father. But, for some unknown reason, the prince couldn't watch on any longer and said: I will give up on the princess if you find out what my name is before dawn.
And so, the princess ordered—
n.o.body sleeps tonight—everyone is to investigate the man's name throughout the night!