Part 24 (2/2)

I could tell my father was excited by the idea. ”Let's go to the hardware store as soon as we finish breakfast,” he said to Charles. ”And I'll pay you for your time and expertise.”

”Oh, my gosh, no,” Charles said quickly. ”You're giving me room and board all summer. It's the least I can do to repay you.”

Both my parents were in love with Charles, as was I. He enjoyed fis.h.i.+ng with my father in our motorboat, and in addition to building the upstairs bathroom, he res.h.i.+ngled parts of our roof and painted the trim on the house. He never saw my mother's accent as something to be ashamed of, but rather as part of her heritage to be celebrated, in spite of the fact that he'd nearly lost his life in a war in which the Italians were our enemy. On her birthday in August, he shooed her out of the kitchen while we made her an authentic five-course Northern Italian meal. It was all his doing; I never would have thought of it. Mother cried when Charles presented the cannoli he'd made, completely by hand and with our carefully rationed sugar, for dessert.

We did not socialize with the Chapmans. Aside from Ross's and my ”friends.h.i.+p,” my family rarely had. We were the sort of neighbors who were there for each other if your car got stuck in the sand, but it was clear we were from different social cla.s.ses, different worlds. Although our backyards were connected, they were divided by an invisible line drawn in the sand.

Ross and I did not have one single private conversation that entire summer. I was curious to know how he'd met Joan, but she was always standing or sitting right next to him and I never had the opportunity to ask. That was probably just as well.

A few weeks after our arrival at the bungalow, Charles and I were sitting in the backyard enjoying the evening when he suggested we talk to Ross and Joan about double dating with them sometime.

”They're around our age,” he said, although Charles was technically six years Ross's senior. ”They seem nice. Wouldn't it be fun to have a couple right next door to do things with?” I hesitated as I tried to think of a response, the idea of getting together socially with Ross and his new love horrifying to me. I settled on telling him a partial truth.

”Charles,” I said, ”when Ross and I were in high school, he asked me out, but when his parents found out, they told him he was not allowed to date me.”

”Why not?” Charles asked.

”Because I'm Italian.”

Charles looked stunned. ”That's certainly small-minded,” he said, making me love him all the more.

”He and his family have never been friendly with us,” I said. ”So, I really would rather not-”

”Of course,” Charles said. He looked over his shoulder toward the Chapmans' house. ”Was Ross in the military?” he asked.

”He was 4-F,” I said. ”A minor heart problem.”

”Ah,” Charles said, and I knew I had just planted an immutable wall between my boyfriend, recipient of the Purple Heart, and Ross Chapman. A man who didn't serve his country, yet nevertheless appeared to be hale and hearty, was a coward in Charles's eyes.

”If he would just stop smoking,” Charles said, ”that heart problem would probably go away.”

I think Charles was a bit disappointed to discover that my parents were not regular churchgoers, but he said nothing about it. I went to ma.s.s with him at St. Peter's every Sunday and we'd stop at Mueller's Bakery afterward and bring home rolls and crumb cake for a late-morning breakfast with my parents. I enjoyed going to church with him, never ceasing to be touched by the way such a strong and intelligent man was able to find peace and comfort there. He also prayed the rosary every night before falling asleep. I prayed, too, although not the rosary. I prayed for my small, jealous feelings about Joan Rockefeller to disappear. I prayed to be able to look at the blueberry lot without longing. I prayed to forget the ways Ross had touched me-taken me, really, for he could be rough in a way I'd enjoyed. He'd never hurt me, but he could ride me like I was a bucking bronco. A heart problem, my eye. me, really, for he could be rough in a way I'd enjoyed. He'd never hurt me, but he could ride me like I was a bucking bronco. A heart problem, my eye.

Charles was a believer in prayers being answered. I could only conclude that I did not pray quite hard enough.

Charles and I were married in June the following year. I feigned pain when we first made love, and to my great relief, he believed I was a virgin. We took our honeymoon in Niagara Falls, and then joined my parents at the bungalow, this time sharing the small downstairs bedroom that had always been mine. We unpacked our suitcases, then went onto the porch and I stopped dead in my tracks at the sound coming from next door: the cries of a baby.

”Whose baby is that?” I asked.

My mother was sitting at the table. ”It's Ross and Joan's,” she said. ”Sue Clements told me they got married last September and the baby was born just a few weeks ago. Ross's parents retired to Florida, so it's just the three of them in the house there now.”

I did the math in my head and felt a wave of disappointment that he had not married her simply because she was pregnant. He must have married her for love, then, the sort of love he and I could never have known because of all the forces against us. Would I ever get over it?

We saw the baby that evening. Joan carried him over to us in the backyard, cooing and showing him off. Although I didn't ask to hold him, she carefully transferred him to my arms and I felt an involuntary pull of my nipples at cradling his beautiful warmth.

”His name is Ned Rosswell Chapman,” she said.

Charles leaned over and gently drew the blanket away from the baby's cheek. Ned Rosswell Chapman sucked his fingers in his sleep.

”He's adorable,” I said sincerely. I didn't need eyes in the back of my head to know that Ross was approaching us from behind. It was some sort of sixth sense I had, so strong that I was not surprised when he suddenly appeared at Joan's side, slipping an arm around her waist.

”What do you think of him?” he asked me, nodding in the direction of his son.

”He's precious,” I said. I looked up at him and saw that he was gazing at me, the look in his eyes raw with desire. For me? For Joan? I didn't know, and I looked quickly away from him, back to the face of his child.

We chatted a while about little Ned and about our honeymoon, and gradually the conversation s.h.i.+fted to the war, as it usually did in those days. Joan and I withdrew into silence as the men's voices grew louder. Ross complained that the government was handing us propaganda about how well the war was going while hiding the truth about the number of casualties suffered. Charles argued back, showing a side of himself I had not known existed. Both men were strident and impa.s.sioned, and I could see the future mapped out ahead of us: Ross Chapman and Charles Bauer would never be friends. They were lawyer and doctor, on opposite teams. That night in our shared backyard, we forged the cool and contentious relations.h.i.+p with our neighbors that would remain for the rest of our years-even as our children became friends.

CHAPTER 29.

Julie.

I'd like you to see my obstetrician.

Would you like to go to my OB/GYN?

My obstetrician is the best in the area.

I'd practiced every way of saying it, trying to find the words that would offer the path of least resistance when I presented the idea to Shannon. I should have known it wouldn't matter. My daughter had her own plans.

I called her Friday morning, timing the call so that I'd reach her before she had to be to work but late enough that I knew she'd be up.

”Hi, Mom,” she said, apparently seeing my number on the caller ID of her cell phone. I took it as a good sign that she'd answered despite knowing it was me.

”Hi, honey,” I said. I was sitting on my bed, cross-legged, leaning back against the sham. I'd changed the sheets after getting up that morning, just in case: Ethan was coming to Westfield tonight. ”How are you feeling?”

”You mean because I'm pregnant?”

No matter what I said to her, she seemed to take it as an attack. ”I mean, in general,” I said.

”Fine.”

”I thought I'd call to see if you'd like me to make an appointment for you with my OB/GYN. I know you'd like her. She's-”

”I've been meaning to talk to you about that,” Shannon interrupted me. ”I already have a doctor.”

”You have?” I asked. My daughter was living a completely secret life. ”Where are you...are you going to a clinic?”

”Not a clinic. It's Dr. Myers-Blake in Morristown. She's good. A friend told me about her.”

”Myersblick?” I repeated. I'd never heard of her.

”Myers-Blake,” she said slowly. ”It's hyphenated.”

The name was still unfamiliar to me. ”But how did you pay?” I asked. ”Our insurance-”

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