Part 13 (1/2)
Twenty-two years! Oh, it is hopeless, hopeless I ht With bated breath I creep froht I draw back, feigning sleep All reuard did not hear me I should feel the terrible bull's-eye even with closed lids Slowly I open rope about the cell The wall is da I cannot live here I limmers in the corner Cautiously I bend over It is a spoon For a reat joy overwhelmsthe tin My hand feels forviolently I will put the narrow end of the spoon over here--like this--I will force it in--a little lower--a steady pressure--just between the ribs The ly I pat the spoon against e It is dull I must press it hard Yes, it is very dull If I only had ht fail to explode That's why Frick is noell, and I must die How he looked at me in court!
There was hate in his eyes, and fear, too He turned his head away, he could not face uilty Yet he lives I didn't crush him Oh, I failed, I failed
”Keep quiet there, or I'll put you in the hole”
The gruff voice startlesI'll draw the blanket overabout? Oh, I remember He is well, and I am here I failed to crush him He lives Of course, it does not really anda is there, as the result of my act That was the main purpose But I meant to kill him, and he lives My speech, too, failed They tricked me They kept the date secret They were afraidthe way the prosecuting attorney and the judge kept interrupting me I did not read even a third of my statement And the whole effect was lost How that man interpreted! The poor old man! He was deeply offended when I corrected his translation I did not knoas blind I called hi I was ale forced e! He acted as indifferently as if the matter did not concern him He must have known that the sentence meant death Twenty-two years!
As if it is possible to survive such a sentence in this terrible place!
Yes, he knew it; he spoke ofan exa it all his life:an example of social victims, the victims of his own class, of capitalis to say why sentence should not be passed? Yet he wouldn't permit me to continue lad I told hiet it Perhaps I should have thrown in his face the epithet that sprang to er Else they would have rejoiced to proclais help to prejudice the People against us We, criive our lives for liberty, criminals? And they, our accusers?
They break their os: they kneas not legal to ainst me They made six indictments out of one act, as if the minor ”offences” were not included in the major, made necessary by the deed itself They thirsted for blood Legally, they could not give me more than seven years But I anate; in him capitalism felt itself attacked Of course, I knew they would take advantage of ally represented
Twenty-two years! The judge ie
Well, I expected no less, and itto die, anyway
I clutch the spoon in ainst my heart, I test the resistance of the flesh A violent bloill drive it between the ribs
One, two, three--the deepInstantly all isis vibrant with life Men yawn and cough, chairs and beds are noisily moved about, heavy feet pace stone floors In the distance sounds a low rolling, as of thunder It grows nearer and louder I hear the officers' sharp co Now the rurows clearer, on stops at uard unlocks the door His eyes rest on me curiously, suspiciously, while the trusty hands me a small loaf of bread I have barely time to withdraw my arm before the door is closed and locked
”Want coffee? Hold your cup”
Between the narrow bars, the beverage is poured into my bent, rusty tin can In the se liquid overflows, scalding my bare feet With a cry of pain I drop the can In the dimly-lit hall the floor looks stained with blood
”What do you uard shouts at me
”I couldn't help it”
”Want to be smart, don't you? Well, we'll take it out of you Hey, there, Sam,” the officer motions to the trusty, ”no dinner for A 7, you hear!”
”Yes, sir Yes, sir!”
”No uard measures me with a look of scornful hatred Malice mirrors in his face Involuntarily I step back into the cell His gaze falls on ot no shoes?”
”Yes”
”Ye-e-s! Can't you say 'sir'? Got shoes?”
”Yes”
”Put 'ee quid of tobacco from one cheek to the either With a hiss, a thick stream of brown splashes on my feet ”damn you, put 'em on”