Part 9 (1/2)
Ahira returned his smile. The swordsman's enthusiasm was positively contagious. ”Do I have three guesses?”
”No. You wouldn't guess right, anyway. In the citya”right smack in the middle of the citya”is the Great Library of Pandathaway. Doc said, and I quote, 'The Great Library of Pandathaway is to the Great Library of Alexandria as a broadsword is to a paring knife.' ”
Andrea chuckled. ”You mean that it's big and awkward, no good for paring an apple?”
”Get off mya””
”Shut up.” Ahira couldn't help joining in the laughter. ”What he's trying to say is that there might be a map there, to show us where the Gate is.”
”Might? If it's known, it's there. It seemed kind of strange, then, how he kept going on about it. I thought Doc was patting himself on the back.”
Aristobulus had been listening quietly, his lined face somber, his head c.o.c.ked to one side. ”And there might be something else there. Something we need, badly.” His gesture included both Andrea and himself. ”Spell books. Give me sufficient time, and I'll make two copies ofa””
Ahira shook his head. ”I hope we have time for that. But we might not. Considera””
”I will consider nothing. Do you have any idea what it is like for a wizard to be without spell books? It's like being a, a...”
”Being a cripple?” Ahira kept his voice low, as his hands balled themselves into fists at his side. ”I... have some idea of what that feels like.” He forced himself to open his hands. ”Believe that. But tell me: How long does it take to write a spell? Just one spell, a simple one.”
Aristobulus shrugged, indifferent. ”Given the right materials and enough quiet... ten days, perhaps. But I don't seea””
”Precisely. You don't see. And if you don't have everything you need on hand? How long would it take?”
”That depends, of course. For the Lightning spell, the ink must contain soot from a lightning-struck treea”preferably oak, of course. And then the pen has to be made....” The wizard spread his hands. ”But it doesn't matter. I have to have spell books. So does she.”
Ahira shook his head. Didn't the old fool see that anythinga”everythinga”had to take a back seat to getting to the Gate? This world was dangerous. It had already cost the life of one of them. They had to get home.
And me? Am I going to exchange security for the ability to be a full person? Here, I'm not a cripple. ”Just listena””
Barak stepped between them. ”Let's leave this alone for the time being. We should have enough time to argue about it on our trip, no?” He frowned.
Ahira nodded, accepting the implied criticism. Barak was right, of course: The leader had no business getting involved in an argument, not when there were things to be done. Maybe Barak should take overa”no, he hadn't acted very intelligently during the fight. An excess of bravado was bad enough in a team member.
And besides, I took on the obligation. It's mine, not his. ”Correct, Barak. My fault.a”You haven't packed your armor, have you?”
”Huh? What does that have to do with anything? I haven't, but I don't see whata””
”Take off your clothesa”I need your jerkin, but you can keep your leggings. You can put your armor on over your bare hide.”
”What?”
Ahira smiled. ”I said, take your clothes off.” Not a good time to bring it up, but he didn't want Barak musing on the leader's shortcomings. Best to keep him off-guard. He sobered. ”I don't intend to make a habit of explaining myself, but... what do you think the chances are that they're looking for Hakim, down there? A big man, dressed only in pants, no s.h.i.+rt? That can't be too common around here, not from what we've seen and heard of the locals. So we make sure he isn't dressed only in pants, go for more standard clothing. You're the only one bigger than he is, so you get to provide the clothes.” Ahira extended a palm. ”It'll be a bit scratchy for youa”the inside of boiled leather isn't too smootha”but that's the way it goes.” He tapped a thumb against his axe. ”Come to think of it, give me your leggings, too. You can switch pants with him; they won't look so loose on you.”
”Now? Here?”
”Now.”
Aristobulus snickered; Andrea giggled.
Glaring at all three of them, Barak began unlacing the front of his jerkin, then shook his head. He chuckled. ”You little b.a.s.t.a.r.d.”
”Right.” Ahira returned his smile. ”But hurry up; I want another chance to talk to Hakim before we get going. The sooner I get finished with that, the less time you have to wander around in your bare skin.”
Ahira seated himself in front of Doria and Hakim, dropping the pile of clothing to the gra.s.s. He jerked his head at Doria. ”Go put your pack on. We're leaving in a few minutes.”
She nodded and walked away, shaking her head when she got behind Hakim. Clearly, she hadn't gotten anywhere with him; he was, sitting against one of the now-empty boxes, running stiff fingers over the thin pink scar that was all that remained of his wound, staring blankly off into s.p.a.ce.
”I want you to put those clothes on, before we leave. You can give your trousers to Barak. And you'd better stash your scimitar in your packa”I'll give you my crossbow, so you don't feel naked.”
”Fine.” He made no move to pick up the jerkin and leggings; he just sat there, rubbing the small scar as though he were trying to rub it away.
”And you'll be glad to know that Barak knows quite a lot about Pandathaway. Sounds like a nice place.” Ahira crabbed himself sideways, into Hakim's line of sight. ”No lords.”
”That's nice.”
The best thing to do would be to trya”gently, gentlya”to get him to talk it out. But there just wasn't time. The area around Lundeyll was probably not a healthy place for any of them. The graves of the dead soldiers were shallow, and nearby; it was only a matter of time until the bodies were discovered. And that would be one h.e.l.l of a problem.
Quite possibly a fatal one. They could all end up like Jason Parker.
But why don't I feel anything for Jason? Granted, I never liked hima”but I should feel something for him, now that he's dead.
Ahira shook his head. Introspection could come later; for now, he had to get Hakim up and moving. One more try the nice way. ”I thought I could count on you. You disappointed me.”
The thief's head snapped up. ”What? How the h.e.l.l was I supposed to know that he was going to pick Lund's pouch, get himself killed? You told him not to take chances, I told him not to...”
Good. Anger was better than shocked numbness. ”That's not what I meant. We've got to get going. But you're just sitting there, feeling sorry for yourselfa”I expected better of you.”
Hakim spat. ”What do you know about it? You ever have to run a few miles with a knife in you, a bunch of people behind you, wanting your G.o.ddam blood?”
”No.” Ahira shrugged, then started to rise. ”I had better go give Doria a talking-to. Looks to me like she did a pretty poor job of healing you, if it still hurts you like this.”
”Wait.” Hakim held up a palm; Ahira lowered himself back to the gra.s.s. ”It's not that. The time I played in the... game against Cornella”the time I played a half with a torn triceps...”
”I remember.” He nodded. ”That must have hurt almost as much as this did.”
”It hurt more. But that was different. We won, that time.”
”We won this time.”
”But I didn't.” Hakim slammed a fist against the ground. ”I was supposed to get back intacta”with Jason, with information.”
”One out of three isn't bad, considering the situation.”
”You don't understand, do you? I've never failed at anything before. I'm big, I'm strong, and I'm smart. I've always just a.s.sumed that was enough. This time, it wasn't.” His eyes bored into Ahira's, as though daring him to deny it. ”If you and Karl had been just a few seconds slower, I'd be dead. Like Jason.” He shuddered. ”G.o.d, James, you should have heard him screaming. I could have been next. I was lucky.”
And you're terrified that you won't be lucky next time. I don't blame you for that.
Once, he had envied Walter Slovotsky. His att.i.tude, his perfect faith and complete confidence that he was firmly at the center of the universe, and that all was well with him and his universea”that didn't seem so enviable. Not now. A self-image cast in stone could shatter. ”Of course I never failed at anything.” That was easy, as long as you didn't run into a situation you couldn't handle; that was fine, until you had to stagger down a road, armed men chasing you, knowing that if you fall, you die.
But when that self-image shatters, where do you go from there?