Part 14 (1/2)

CHAPTER VI

Whatever Lydia, her mother, and Sally agreed between themselves the next day they never told, but there was a conspiracy immediately on foot. Little was said of the party, and nothing of Rodney Parker, for many days. And if Martie in her fever of hurt pride was not openly grateful, at least they knew her benefited by the silence. Rose had no such compunction.

On the afternoon of the long rainy Sat.u.r.day that was to have been filled with a picnic, Rose telephoned. She just wanted to see how every one was--and say what a lovely time she'd had! Ida Parker had just telephoned, and Rose was going up there at about four o'clock to stay for dinner, just informally, of course. She would go back to Berkeley to-morrow night, but she hoped to see the girls in the meantime.

Silently, heavily, Martie went on wiping the ”company” dishes, carrying them into the pantry shelves where they had been piled untouched for years, and where they would stand again unused for a long, long time.

Sally was tired, and complained of a headache. Lydia was irritatingly cheerful and philosophical. Len had disappeared, as was usual on Sat.u.r.day, and Mrs. Monroe and Mrs. Potts were talking in low tones over the sitting-room fire. Outside, the rain fell and fell and fell.

Martie thought of Rose, laughing, pink-cheeked, discarding her neat little raincoat with Rodney's help at four o'clock, at the Parkers'

house, and bringing her fresh laughter into their fire. She thought of her at six--at seven--and during the silent two hours when she brooded over her cards.

Coming out of church the next morning, Rose rejoiced over the clear bath of sunlight that followed the rain. ”Rod is going to take me driving,” she told Martie. ”I like him ever so much; don't you, Martie?”

Alice Clark, coming in for a chat with Lydia late that afternoon, added the information that when little Rose Ransome left the city at four o'clock, Rod Parker and that fat friend of his went, too. Escorting Rose--and he and Rose would have tea in the city before he took her to Berkeley--Martie thought.

That was the beginning, and now scarcely a day pa.s.sed without its new sting. The girl was not conscious of any instinct for bravery; she did not want to be brave, she wanted to draw back from the rack--to escape, rather than to endure. A first glimpse of happiness had awakened fineness in her nature; she had been generous, sweet, ambitious, only a few weeks ago. She had given new thought to her appearance, had carried her big frame more erectly. All her bigness, all her capacity for loving and giving she would have poured at Rodney's feet; his home, his people, his hopes, and plans--these would have been hers.

Repulsed, this gold of youth turned to bra.s.s; through long idle days and wakeful nights Martie paid the cruel price for a few hours of laughter and dreaming. She was not given another moment of hope.

Not that she did not meet Rodney, for in Monroe they must often meet.

And when they met he greeted her, and they laughed and chatted gaily.

But she was not Brunhilde now, and if Sally or Lydia or any one else was with her she knew he was not sorry.

In the middle of December Rose's mother, the neat little widow who was like an older Rose, told Sally that Rose was not going back to college after Christmas. Quietly, without comment, Sally told this to Martie when they were going to bed that night.

Martie walked to the window, and stood looking out for a long time.

When she came back to Sally her face was pale, her breast moving stormily, and her eyes glittering.

”They're engaged, I suppose?” Martie said.

Sally did not speak. But her eyes answered.

”Sally,” said her sister, in a voice thick with pain, as she sat down on the bed, ”am I to blame? Could I have done differently? Why does this come to Rose, who has everything NOW, and pa.s.s me by? I--I don't want to be like--like Lyd, Sally; I want to live! What can I do? Oh, my G.o.d,” said Martie, rising suddenly and beginning to walk to and fro, with her magnificent mane of hair rolling and tumbling about her shoulders as she moved, ”what shall I do? There is a world, out there, and people working and living and succeeding in it--and here I am, in Monroe--dying, dying, DYING of longing! Sally ...” and with tears wet on her cheeks, and her mouth trembling, she came close to her sister.

”Sally,” whispered Martie unsteadily, ”I care for--him. I wanted nothing better. I thought--I thought that by this time next year we might--we might be going to have a baby--Rodney and I.”

She flung back her head, and went again to the window. Sally burst into bitter crying.

”Oh, Martie--Martie--I know! I know! My darling, splendid, glorious sister--so much more clever than any one else, and so much BETTER! I think it'll break my heart!”

And in each other's arms, nineteen and twenty-one wept together at the bitterness of life.

The days wore by, and Rose came smiling home for Christmas, and early in the new year Martie and Sally were asked to a pink luncheon at the Ransome cottage, finding at each chair two little tissue-paper heart-shaped frames initialled ”R. P.” and ”R. R.” with kodak prints of Rose and Rodney inside. The Monroe girls gave Rose a ”linen shower” in return, and the whole town shared the pleasure of the happy pair.

Martie had enough to think of now. Not even the thoughts of the prospective bride could dwell more persistently on her own affairs than did Martie's thoughts. Rose, welcome at the Parkers', envied and admired even by Ida and May and Florence; Rose, prettily buying her wedding finery and das.h.i.+ng off apt little notes of thanks for her engagement cups and her various ”showers”; Rose, fluttering with confidences and laughter to the admiring Rodney, with the diamond glittering on her hand; these and a thousand other Roses haunted Martie. Lydia and her mother admired and marvelled with the rest. Lydia it was who first brought home the news that the young Parkers were to be married at Easter, Sally learned from Rose's own lips that they were to spend a week in Del Monte as honeymoon.

The Monroe girls still wandered down town on weekday mornings, loitering into the post-office, idling an hour away in the Library, drifting home to mutton stew or Hamburg steak when the clock in the town hall struck twelve. Sometimes Martie watched the big eastern trains thunder by, looking with her wistful young blue eyes at the card-playing men and the flushed, bored young women with their heads resting on the backs of their upholstered seats. Sometimes she stopped at the little magazine stand outside of Carlson's cigar store; her eye caught by a photograph on the cover of a weekly: ”Broadway at Forty-Second,” or ”Night Lights from the Singer Building,” or the water-front silhouette that touches like the sight of a beloved face even some hearts that know it not. She wanted to do something, now that it was certain that she would not marry. Slowly, and late, Martie's soul was awakening.

She asked her father if she might go to work. Certainly she might, her father said lifelessly. Well, what should she do?--the girl persisted.