Part 18 (2/2)
”And G.o.d prompted thee, friend, to go and hear Him.”
”G.o.d, sayest thou?” rejoined the praefect slowly. ”Aye! mayhap thou'rt right. 'Twas G.o.d then that sent me. Disguised in humble raiment I went forth one day and made my way to the desert lands of Galilee.”
”And didst see Him there?”
”I saw Him sitting on a low mound of earth with the canopy of blue above His head, and all around Him a mult.i.tude that hung entranced upon His lips. He spoke to them of the Kingdom of Heaven--a Kingdom of whose existence, alas! I had never dreamed. But His words did wring my heart, and the majesty of His presence has ever since been before mine eyes.
To-day it all came back to me, the gentle face, the perfect mouth framing exquisite words. Above Him a curtain of azure, and far away, the illimitable stretch of horizon merging into the water beyond. The very air was still and listening to His words; from under jagged boulders tiny lizards peeped out, and on the branches of starved, gaunt trees the birds had stopped to rest. Then it was that panther-like, sleek sleuth-hounds hovered round Him, trying to entangle Him in His talk.
They made their way close to Him, and with honeyed words and deft insinuations, spoke of allegiance and of the tribute due to Caesar. I stood not far off and could hear what they said. My very heart seemed to still its beating, for did not their questions embrace the whole riddle of mine own life. G.o.d and Caesar! I, the servant of Caesar--the recipient of rich gifts from his hands--should I forswear the Caesar and follow Jesus of Nazareth?”
”And didst hear what He answered, friend?”
”Aye! I heard it. And to-day when traitors spoke, it seemed as if the Divine Presence stood close to me amongst the shadows. Once more I saw the bleak and arid land, the skeleton arms of the trees, the blue firmament above my head, I saw the mult.i.tude of simple folk around Him and the leer in the eyes of the tempters. And above the din of drunken revelries to-night I heard again the voice that bade me then to render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's, and unto G.o.d the things that are G.o.d's.”
The other sighed, a sigh of glad content.
”I thank thee, friend, for telling me this. 'Tis a joy to hear thee speak of Him. It is so long since we talked of this matter. And--tell me yet again--thou wast in Jerusalem when He died?”
”I stood on Golgotha,” said the praefect slowly, ”on that day before the Jewish Pa.s.sover, seven years ago. Once again wrapped in a dark cloak, one among a mult.i.tude, I gazed with eyes that I felt could never look on anything else again. I saw the patient face smeared with blood, the G.o.d-like head crowned with thorns, the eyes--still br.i.m.m.i.n.g over with love--slowly closing in agony. Overhead the heavens murmured, vivid flashes of lightning rent the canopy of the sky, and men around me mocked and jeered, whilst the Divine Soul fled upwards back to G.o.d. At that moment, O friend! I seemed to lose mine own ident.i.ty. I--even I alone--became the whole mult.i.tude. I was no longer just mine own self, but I was all of us who looked, who heard and saw and did not yet understand.... A mult.i.tude was looking through my eyes ... a mult.i.tude heard through mine ears ... I was the crowd of poor, of helpless slaves, and I was the whole of the patriciate of Rome. I was barbarian and Italian, I was British and Roman, all in one ... and my voice was the voice of the entire world, as suddenly I cried out to Him: 'Do not die now and leave us desolate!'”
His harsh voice broke down in a great sob that came from out the depths of an overburdened heart. He took a few steps forward and slowly dropped on his knees right against the table, his clasped hands resting on the cloth, his forehead buried in his hands.
The man had listened to him silently and patiently with, in his heart, that subtle understanding for another's sorrow, which his own mission had instilled into him. And thus understanding he went up to that end of the table where knelt the rich and mighty praefect of Rome, the friend of Caesar, all-powerful in the land, with burning head buried in his hands, and eyes from which despite his will hot tears gushed up that would not be suppressed.
He placed a kindly hand on the bowed shoulder of his friend.
”Wilt tell me what troubles thee?” he said gently.
Taurus Antinor pa.s.sed his hand across his forehead as if to chase away the brain-searing thoughts. He raised himself from his knees and gratefully pressed the hand that had recalled him to himself.
”Nay, friend,” he said, ”I'll not do that. Thy friends.h.i.+p is too precious a guerdon that I should jeopardise it by showing thee the blackness of my soul.”
”Dost talk at random,” said the other firmly; ”my friends.h.i.+p doth not come and go like fleeting suns.h.i.+ne on a winter's day. I gave it thee on that self-same unforgettable day when I saw thee standing alone upon the hill after the crowd had departed and we who loved Him were lifting Him down from His Cross.”
”Thou didst take pity then on my loneliness.”
”I saw in thee one who had faith,” said the man simply. ”I grasped thy hand in friends.h.i.+p then, not knowing who thou wast. When I knew, then did I follow thee to Rome, for I needed thy help. My Master sent me here. I do His work that He did enjoin on all His disciples. Thy protection and friends.h.i.+p, O mighty praefect of Rome, hath been an infinite help to me. Thy kindness and charity hath saved from want the many humble followers of Christ who have been forced to give up all for His sake. Therefore whatever doth burden thy soul now, I pray thee share it with me, so that I might bear it with thee and mayhap ease thy load.”
”May G.o.d bless thee for these words.”
”And thy burden, friend?”
”Ask not to share it--'tis one of treachery.”
”Of treachery?... Whose treachery?...”
”Mine.”
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