Part 9 (1/2)

”He fought to pull away from her, but she clasped her arms and legs about him tightly and, with a strength far greater than his, held him fast. Held him fast also with her gaze; his struggling eased and then ceased as he stared, transfixed, into her eyes. Soon he was quiet, wide-eyed, breathing softly, just like little Jan and me.

”And the woman rose from the bed and told him, 'Rise, Stefan, and put on your clothes.”

”Like a sleepwalker, he did so, while she dressed so swiftly, my dazzled eyes saw nothing but a silvery blur. And she went over to the crib, leaned down, and took my sleeping child into her arms, then turned to Stefan and said, ”Come.”

”Still I could not move, could not stop them, could only lie cold and s.h.i.+vering upon the floor while my lover obediently followed and pa.s.sed me without seeing, and soon the three of them were gone.

”Gone. Gone with my baby. . . .” And Gerda covered her eyes and wailed.

And my mother lay sobbing in Arkady's unfamiliar arms. I knew how cruelly the loss of her only grandchild must have weighed on her; yet I was struggling too mightily to free myself from a dark vortex of hysteria to offer comfort.

At the sight of me, Mama straightened and composed herself. Arkady withdrew from her embrace and gazed up at me. ”They have taken Stefan and your child; there is nothing further I can do for your wife.”

”We must go to the police!” I responded. ”I will go myself at once-”

”No!” Mama countered. ”What shall it take for you to listen to me, Bram? The police can accomplish no more now than they did yesterday! But this man”- she gestured at Arkady beside her-”saved your brother once. I know he will do so again and bring little Jan home to us.”

As she spoke, Arkady rose and stepped over to me until he stood no more than an arm's length away, the black of his cloak contrasting sharply with the unnatural pallour of his skin. ”Your mother says she has revealed to you the full truth of the matter; yet you cannot believe. It is imperative that I have your belief, and your trust.”

”Sir,” said I, nearly mad with despair, ”you have neither.”

In reply, he slipped off his cloak and waistcoat and set them on the bed; clad only in s.h.i.+rt sleeves, he turned towards me. ”Doctor Van Helsing. Will you listen to my heart?”

”I have no time for such idiocy!” I cried, my voice breaking. ”We must stop them, find them before they harm my son-”

He looked into my eyes with a gaze so intent, so determined, yet so oddly sympathetic that I fell silent. ”I, too, am a father,” he said quietly. ”And I have lost a father, a brother, and a son. I understand full well your despair. I swear to you: I will find Jan and Stefan. But to do so, I need your help-”

”Not him!” Mama pleaded suddenly, with such vehemence that we two men turned our faces swiftly to stare at her in surprise. ”Not him! You cannot take him with you, Arkady. I have one son already in danger; I will not lose Bram, too!”

He listened sombrely, then replied, ”Shall we then leave him here with his wife, where she can serve as Vlad's spy against him? No place is safe for any of us now, Mary. I do not relish leaving you behind. But Bram is younger and physically stronger dian you and better able to help me with the gruesome task that awaits us.”

She fell silent and let the defeat and sorrow on her face serve as her reply.

Arkady sighed in acknowledgement of the unhappy situation. ”For his own protection, he must believe.” He spread his arms. ”You can see what scepticism has purchased me.” And he turned back towards me once more. ”Doctor Van Helsing: Will you listen to my heart?”

The sincerity and sympathy in his eyes, the soothing undercurrent in his voice, worked together to overcome the near-hysterical frustration of that moment.

Oddly quieted, I leaned forward and pressed an ear to the center of his chest.

It was utterly, completely silent; the torso of a dead man.

I drew back slowly in amazement, my gaze fixed upon his face, and gently pressed my index and middle fingertips against his carotid artery.

No pulse whatsoever, and the skin was cool as dear Lilli's corpse.

I lowered my arm, dazed.

”Shall I perform for you?” he asked. ”Levitate, as I did when I appeared at your window to- night? Vanish before your eyes? Transform myself into mist?”

”No,” I answered dully. ”That will not be necessary.” A cold layer of confusion had settled atop my panic over little Jan's disappearance. Gerda's story, Stefan's, Mama's, this stranger Arkady's: their impossible tales were all of a piece, too coherent to be the result of individual delusions.

There was nothing left for me to do but trust them. I took my place beside Gerda and listened to Arkady's bizarre instructions of how we might best protect ourselves from this supernatural threat. Listened, too, to his promise that we would find Stefan, as soon as he knew whither my brother was bound. In the meantime, we should rest.But first, he tried to extract a solemn promise from my mother-that she would remain in Amsterdam with Gerda and would not follow; for to do so would endanger not only her but Stefan and all the rest of us. Vlad would certainly endeavour to use Gerda against those of us who remained here; and someone had to stay and care for her.

”Then let me go with you,” my mother cried, ”and let Bram care for his wife! He does not understand Vlad as I do.”

To which Arkady merely replied, ”We shall discuss this when the time comes. For now, you must all rest while you can.”

And he would discuss the matcer no further. When he left, I took Mama and poor Gerda downstairs, knowing they would not feel safe in their violated bedrooms. I lit a fire in the hearth and dressed my wife, like a child, in her night-gown, then with blankets and pillows upon the sofa and floor, situated them all so that they might sleep. But Gerda was so pitifully wide-eyed and trembling that I administered tincture of opium, which she drank down obediently. Mama refused, saying as always that she preferred wakefulness to the poppy's effects. As for myself, I sat in Papa's chair, wondering what he would have made of the strange events that had beseiged his family in the week after his death.

When at last the women's eyes closed, I took myself to the kitchen for coffee: I knew I should not sleep to-night, nor for some nights to come, and I had much thinking to do. I sat for an hour, perhaps more, at the table, with my troubled forehead in my hands, surrounded by a storm of thoughts. And after a time, slowly, my overwhelmed senses perceived that I was not alone. I lifted my face to find Arkady sitting silently across from me.

”Forgive me,” he said at my startled reaction. ”I had to speak to you alone, away from your mother. I have always known where Stefan is ultimately bound. I can go alone and retrieve your brother and son--but their rescue is meaningless. For Vlad will only pursue Stefan again; the danger will persist so long as your brother lives.”

”Then what can be done?” I asked.

”Vlad must be destroyed-and that I cannot do.” He fixed his gaze steadily upon me. ”He- and I-can die only by a human hand. But finding a mortal with the courage and willingness to commit the deed has proven impossible.”

I contemplated this silently a time, then said: ”You want me to disobey my mother's wishes.

To accompany you. To help deal with this Zsuzsanna and . . . Vlad.”

”Yes. I know Mary's determination once she has made up her mind; she will never permit you to leave unless she comes with you. The deception is necessary in order for her to remain safe.”

In truth, I cared nothing about these so-called monsters, Zsuzsanna and Vlad, about the threat they posed humankind, and I had no intention of setting off on some bizarre supernatural quest to destroy them. But I cared about my little son and my brother and was desperate to do something, anything, on their behalf. And so I said, ”Then I will go with you. When shall we leave?”

”Now,” he said.

I have written all this on the train. I sit alone, gazing out from time to time at the banks of the dark muddy Rhine. Dawn broke some hours ago, and Arkady has closeted himself in his berth with instructions that he not be disturbed until sunset.The recording of it all makes it no less difficult to believe. To the contrary, the events seem more outlandish pondered in full daylight. But I must find something to constantly occupy my mind; the alternative is to go mad with worry over what has become of my little son.

Would that I could-madness would be such sweet relief. But sanity will not release its grip on me.

My life is shattered. Gerda has retreated again into silence, as profound as that in which I first found her; I fear she will never return. To-day I have no father, no brother, no wife, no son.

Here is what, at this sunny hour, I believe: that I have gone clinically insane. That I have fallen prey to a grandiose delusion that pits good against evil and includes Mama, Stefan, Jan, and Gerda in its lunatic embrace.

But this delusion is now my world, and I am required to obey its laws or suffer the consequences; therefore, I shall do whatever is necessary to win back my brother and son.

G.o.d, in Whom I do not believe, help me.

Chapter 8.

The Journal of Mary Tsepesh Van Helsing 22 NOVEMBER.

So now payment comes for all the years of deception, for all the years I have hidden from my sons the truth. You are stolen again, dear Stefan, and there is nothing I can do, nothing I can say; I must simply bear the responsibility for any harm done you to my grave.

Bram, forgive me! I wished only to protect you- but now you, too, have lost everything. . . .