Part 34 (1/2)
”The Colonel was mistaken. There is nothing settled or unsettled.”
”And do you, really, not like him?”
”I really _do_ like him, Adele, as a very pleasant companion for an hour or two, and as a very perfect gentleman.”
”Yes, he told me all that. But, if you like him so well, why not like him better? Why not love him?”
”I will be plain and true with you, Adele. I do not choose to consider at all, whether I could or could _not_, love him. He has never asked me, has never spoken of love to me; and putting it out of the question that it is unmaidenly to love unasked, I am sure it is unwise.”
”I understand, I understand. But he _will_ ask you, that is certain; and, when he does ask, what shall you say?”
”It will be time enough to consider when that time shall come.”
”Another way of saying, 'I shall say _yes_!' But come, Valerie, you must promise me that if you need my a.s.sistance, you will call upon me for it. You _know_ that anything I can do for you will be done without a thought but how I best may serve you; and Jervis will do likewise, since he, as I do, considers that under Heaven, we owe our happiness to you.”
”I promise it.”
”Enough; I will ask no more. Now come up to my room, and I will give you Madame d'Albret's letters, and some pretty presents she has sent you. Do you know, Valerie, nothing could exceed her kindness to us. I believe she repents bitterly her unkindness to you. I cannot repeat the terms of praise and admiration which she applied to you.”
”And do you know, Adele, that it was her infamous and miserable husband, Monsieur G--, whom the Count horsewhipped this very day, for insulting me?”
”Indeed? was it indeed? That man's enmity to you will never cease, so long as he has life. No, Jervis did not tell me who it was, thinking, I fancy, that neither you nor I would have so much as known his name. But never care about the wretch. Here is Madame's letter.”
It was as kind a letter as could be written, full of thanks for the favour I had shown her in introducing my friends to her, and of hopes that we should one day meet again, when all the past should be forgotten, and I should resume my own place and station in the society of my own land. She begged my acceptance of the pretty dresses she sent, which she said she had selected, not for their value, but because they were pretty; and, in her postscript, she added, what of course outweighed all the rest of her letter, both in interest and importance, that she had recently been informed through a strange channel, and, as it were, by accident, that my mother's health was failing, seriously, and that, although not attacked by any regular disorder, nor in any immediate danger, it was not thought probable that she could live much longer. ”In that case, Valerie,” she continued, ”for, although no one could be so unnatural as to _wish_ for a mother's death, how cruel and unmotherly she might be soever, it cannot be expected that you should regard her decease with more than decent observation, and a proper seriousness, and I shall look to see you dwelling again among us, and spending the little fortune which I understand you have so bravely earned, in the midst of your friends, and in your own country.”
”That I shall never do,” I said, speaking aloud, though in answer partly to her letter, partly to my own words; ”that I shall never do. Visit France I may, once and again; but in England I shall dwell. France banished and repudiated me like a step-mother--England received me, kinder than my own, like a mother. In England I shall dwell.”
”Wait till you see the lord of your destinies; and learn where he shall dwell. You will have to say, like the rest of us, 'Your country shall be my country, and your G.o.d my G.o.d,'”--observed Adele interrupting my musings.
”The first perhaps--the last never! never! Catholic I was born, Catholic I will die. I do _not_ say that I will never marry any but a Catholic, but I _do_ say that I will never marry but one who will approve my adoring my own G.o.d, according to my own conscience.”
”Is the Count de Chavannes a Catholic?”
”Indeed, I know not. But he is a Breton, and the Bretons are a loyal race, both to their king and their G.o.d.”
I now turned to finish my reading, which had been for the moment interrupted.
”Indeed, my dear Valerie,” she concluded her letter, ”I have long felt that although we were certainly justified by the circ.u.mstances of your situation, in taking the steps we did at that time, we have been hardly pardonable in persisting so long in the maintenance of a falsehood, which has certainly been the cause of great pain and suffering to both your parents, the innocent no less than the guilty. I know that your mother can never forgive me for aiding you in your escape from her authority; but for my part, I am willing to bear her enmity, rather than persist in further concealment, so that you need not in any degree consider me in any steps which you may think it wise or right to take towards revelation and reconciliation. Indeed I think, Valerie, that if it can be done with due regard to your own safety and happiness, you ought to discover yourself to both your parents, and, if possible, even to visit the most unhappy, because the guiltier of the two, before her dissolution, which I really believe to be now very near at hand.
Everyone knows so well what you have undergone, that no blame will attach to you in the least degree. Allow me to add, that should you return to France, as I hope you will do, I shall never forgive you if you do not make my house your home.”
This postscript, as will readily be believed, gave me more cause for thought than all the letter beside, and rendered me exceedingly uneasy.
If I had felt ill-satisfied before with my condition and my concealment, much more was I now discontented with myself, and unhappy. I was almost resolved to return at all hazards with Auguste; and, indeed, when I consulted with Adele, she leaned very much towards the same opinion. I would not, however, do anything rashly, but determined to consult not only with my brother, but with the Judge, in whose wisdom I had no less confidence than I had in his friends.h.i.+p and integrity.
Things, however, were destined to occur, which in some degree altered and hastened all my proceedings, for that very evening when the Gironacs had retired, on my beginning to consult Auguste, ”Listen to me a moment, before you tell me about your letters from France, or anything about returning, and I entreat you answer me truly, and let no false modesty, or little missish delicacy, prevent your doing so. Many a life has been rendered miserable by such foolishness, I have heard say; and being, as it were, almost alone in the world, as if an only brother with an only sister, to whom, if not to one another, should we speak freely?”
”You need not have made so long a preamble, dear Auguste,” I replied with a smile; ”of course, I will answer you; and, when I say that, of course I will answer truly.”
”Well, then, Valerie, do you like this Count de Chavannes?”
”It is an odd question, but--Yes. I do like him.”