Part 21 (1/2)
”That is generally the case, my dear,” replied I; ”but now if you please, we will try this sonata. We shall have plenty of time for talking, as we shall meet twice a week.”
Caroline played the sonata, and then dropping her fingers on the keys, said, ”Now, Valerie, do you know what was one of my wild dreams which a.s.sisted in inducing me to come here? I'll tell you. I know that I shall never find a husband at my father's house. All well-bred people, if they once go there, do not go a second time, and, whatever may be the merits of the daughter, they have no time to find them out, and leave the house, with the supposition that she, having been educated in so bad a school, must be unworthy of notice. Now I mean, if I can, to elope from school, that is if I can find a gentleman to my fancy--not to Gretna Green but as soon as I am married, to go to my aunt Bathurst direct, and you know that once under a husband's protection, my father and mother have no control over me. Will you a.s.sist my views, Valerie?
It's the only chance I have of happiness.”
”A very pretty confession for a young lady, not yet eighteen,” replied I; ”and a very pretty question to put to me, who have been your governess, Caroline. I am afraid that you must not look to me for a.s.sistance, but consider it, as you termed it at first, a wild dream.”
”Nevertheless, dreams come true sometimes,” replied Caroline, laughing; ”and all I require is birth and character: you know that I must have plenty of money.”
”But, my dear Caroline, it is not people of birth and character who prowl round boarding-schools in search of heiresses.”
”I know that; and that was why I asked you to help me. At all events, I'll not leave this place till I am married, or going to be married, that's certain, if I stay here till I'm twenty-five.”
”Well, do not make rash resolutions; but surely, Caroline, you have not reason to complain of your parents' treatment; they are kind and affectionate towards you.”
”Indeed they are not, nor were they from the time that I returned to them with you. They try by force to make me espouse their own incorrect notions of right and wrong, and it is one scene of daily altercation.
They abuse and laugh at aunt Bathurst, I believe on purpose to vex me; and, having never lived with them from my infancy, of course, when I met them I had to learn to love them. I was willing so to do, notwithstanding their unkindness to my aunt, whom I love so dearly, but they would not let me; and now I really believe that they care little about me, and would care nothing, if I were not their only daughter, for you know, perhaps, that both my brothers are now dead?”
”I knew that one was,” replied I.
”The other, William, died last year,” replied Caroline; ”his death was a release, poor fellow, as he had a complaint in the spine for many years.
Do you know what I mean to do? I shall write to aunt Bathurst, to come and see me.”
”Well, I think you will be right in so doing; but will not your father and mother come to you?”
”No, for they are very angry, and say, that until I come to my senses, and learn the difference between people, who are somebodies, and people who are n.o.bodies, they will take no notice of me; and that I may remain here till I am tired; which they think I shall soon be, and write to come back again. The last words of my father, when he brought me here and left me, were,--'I leave you here to come to your senses.' He was white with anger: but I do not wish to talk any more about them.”
”And your time is up, Caroline; so you must go and make room for another pupil. Miss Greaves is the next.”
Shortly after my meeting with Caroline, I received a letter from Lionel, stating that it was his intention to come over to England for a fortnight, and asking whether he could execute any commissions for me in Paris, previous to his departure. He also informed me that he had received a very kind letter, from his uncle the baronet, who had had several interviews with Mr Selwyn, and who was fully satisfied with his ident.i.ty, and acknowledged him as his nephew. This gave me great pleasure. I replied to his letter, stating that I should be most happy to see him, but that as for commissions I was too poor to give him any.
Madame d'Albret had sent her kind souvenirs to me in Lionel's letter, and I returned them in my reply. Indeed, now that I was earning a livelihood, and by my own exertions, I felt that I was every day adding to my means and future independence, a great change, I may safely say for the better, took place in me. My pride was lessened, that is, my worst pride was superseded by a more honest one. I had a strange revulsion in feeling towards Madame d'Albret, Madame Bathurst and Lady M--, and I felt that I could forgive them all. I was no longer brooding over my dependent position, fancying, perhaps, insults never intended, or irritated by real slights. Everything was _couleur de rose_ with me, and that _couleur_ was reflected upon everything.
”Ah, Mademoiselle Valerie,” said Madame Gironac to me one day, ”I had no idea when I first made your acquaintance that you were so witty. My husband and all the gentlemen say that you have _plus d'esprit_ than any woman they ever conversed with.”
”When I first knew you, Annette, I was not happy, now I am happy, almost too happy, and that is the reason I am so gay.”
”And I don't think you hate the men so much as you did,” continued she.
”I am in a humour to hate n.o.body,” replied I.
”That is true; and, Mademoiselle Valerie, you will marry one of these days; mind,” continued she, putting up her finger, ”I tell you so.”
”And I tell you, no,” replied I. ”I think there is only one excuse for a woman marrying, which is, when she requires some one to support her; that is not my case, for I thank Heaven I can support myself.”
”_Nous verrons_” replied Madame Gironac.
Caroline did, however, find the restraint of a school rather irksome, and wished very much to go out with me. When the holidays arrived, and the other young ladies had gone home, I spoke to Mrs Bradshaw, and as she was very partial to me, and knew my former relations with Caroline, she gave her consent. Shortly afterwards, Mrs Bradshaw accepted an invitation to pa.s.s three weeks with some friends, and I then proposed that Caroline should pa.s.s the remainder of the holidays with me, to which Mrs Bradshaw also consented, much to Caroline's delight. Madame Gironac had made up a bed for her in my room, and we were a very merry party.
A few days after Caroline came to the house, Lionel made his appearance.
I should hardly have believed it possible that he could have so improved in appearance in so short a time. He brought me a very kind letter from Madame d'Albret, in which she begged, as a proof of my having forgiven her, that I would not refuse a few presents she had sent by Lionel. They were very beautiful and expensive, and, when I had had some conversation with Lionel, I made up my mind that I would not return them, which certainly I at first felt more inclined to do than to keep them. When Lionel took leave, promising to come to dinner, Caroline asked me who that gentlemanly young man was. I replied, ”that it was a Mr Lionel Dempster, the nephew of Lady R--,” but further conversation was interrupted by the arrival of young Mr Selwyn, who came with a message from his father inviting me to Kew. I declined the invitation, on the plea of Caroline being with me. Mr Selwyn remained some time conversing with me, and at last inquired if I should like to go to the next meeting at the Horticultural Gardens, at the same time offering me two tickets. As I was anxious to see the gardens, I accepted them. He told me that his father would call for us, and his mother and sisters were to be there, and then he took leave.