Part 10 (1/2)
”Footman, my lady? There is a boy--a sort of page there.”
”Exactly; a lad of fifteen or sixteen, a precocious, pert boy, who is much indulged by Lady R--, and, if report says true, is nearer related to her than she is willing to acknowledge. Did you never observe that there is a strong likeness?”
”Good heavens, my lady, you surprise me.”
”And, I fear, have also annoyed you; but,” continued Lady M--, laying her hand on mine, ”I thought it kinder to let you know your peculiar position than to sneer and ridicule, as others do, behind your back.
This is a sad world in one respect; if there is any scandal or false report spread against us, it is known to everyone but ourselves. We cannot find, but rarely, a friend who is so really our friend as to tell us of it. The poison is allowed to circulate without the power being given to us of applying an antidote--so hollow is friends.h.i.+p in this world. My dear mademoiselle, I have done otherwise; whether you thank me for it or not, I cannot tell; perhaps not, for those who communicate unpleasant intelligence, are seldom looked kindly upon.”
”Lady M--,” replied I, ”I do thank you most heartily. I do consider that you have acted a friendly part. That I have been dreadfully shocked and mortified, I admit,” continued I, wiping away the tears that forced their pa.s.sage; ”but I shall not give an opportunity for future unjust insinuations or remarks, as I have made up my mind that I shall leave Lady R--as soon as possible.”
”My dear mademoiselle, I did not venture to make you acquainted with what I knew would, to a person of your sensitive mind, be the cause of your quitting the protection of Lady R--without having considered whether an equivalent could not be offered to you; and I am happy to say that I can offer you a home, and I trust comfort and consideration, if you will accept of them. The fact is, that had I known that you had any idea of quitting Madame Bathurst, I should have made the offer then--now I do so with all sincerity;--but at present you are agitated and annoyed, and I will say no more. If I send the carriage for you to-morrow at two o'clock, will you do me the favour to come and see me?
I would call upon you, but of course the presence of Lady R--would be a check to our free converse. Say, my dear, will you come?”
I replied in the affirmative, and Lady M--then rose, and giving me her arm, we walked back to the bench which I had left, where I found Lady R--in a hot dispute with a member of Parliament. I sat down by her unnoticed, and Lady M--having smiled an adieu, I was left to my own reflections, which were anything but agreeable. My head ached dreadfully, and I looked so ill that Lady R--'s warm antagonist perceived it, and pointed it out to her, saying, ”Your _protegee_ is not well, I fear, Lady R--.”
I replied to Lady R--, ”that I had a violent headache, and wished to get home if it were possible.”
She immediately consented, and showed great concern. As soon as we were home, I need hardly say, that I hastened to my room.
I sat down and pressed my forehead with my hands: my knowledge of the world was increasing too fast. I began to hate it--hate men, and women even more than men. What lessons had I learnt within the last year.
First Madame d'Albret, then Madame Bathurst, and now Lady R--. Was there no such thing as friends.h.i.+p in the world--no such thing as generosity? In my excited state it appeared to me that there was not.
All was false and hollow. Self was the idol of mankind, and all wors.h.i.+pped at its altar. After a time I became more composed, I thought of little Madame Gironac, and the recollection of her disinterested kindness put me in a better frame of mind. Mortified as I was, I could not help feeling that it was only the vanity of Lady R--and her desire to s.h.i.+ne, to which I had been made a sacrifice, and that she had no intention of wounding my feelings. Still, to remain with her after what had been told to me by Lady M--was impossible.
And then I reflected upon what steps I should take. I did not like to tell Lady R--the real grounds of my leaving her. I thought it would be prudent to make some excuse and part good friends. At last it occurred to me that her intention of going to France would be a good excuse. I could tell her that I was afraid of meeting my relatives.
Having decided upon this point, I then canva.s.sed the words of Lady M--.
What could she offer me in her house? She had three daughters, but they were all out, as the phrase is, and their education supposed to be completed. This was a mystery I could not solve, and I was obliged to give up thinking about it, and at last I fell asleep. The next moment I woke up, jaded in mind, and with a bad headache, but I dressed and went down to breakfast. Lady R--asked after my health, and then said, ”I observed you talking very confidentially with Lady M--. I was not aware that you knew her. Between ourselves, Valerie, she is one of my models.”
”Indeed,” replied I, ”I do not think that her ladys.h.i.+p is aware of the honour conferred upon her.”
”Very likely not, but in the last work she was portrayed to the life.
Lady M--is a schemer, always plotting; her great object now is to get her three daughters well married.”
”I believe that most mothers wish that, Lady R--.”
”I grant it, and perhaps manoeuvre as much, but with more skill than she does, for every one sees the game that she is playing, and the consequence is, that the young men shy off, which they probably would not if she were quiet, for they are really clever, unaffected, and natural girls, very obliging, and without any pride; but how came you to be so intimate with Lady M--?”
”Lady M--and her eldest daughter were staying for some time with Madame Bathurst in the country when I was there.”
”Oh, I understand, that accounts for it.”
”I am going to call upon Lady M--, if she sends her carriage for me,”
replied I. ”She told me that she would, if she could, at two o'clock.
She has proposed my paying her a visit; I presume it will be after she leaves town.”
”But that you will not be able to do, Valerie; you forget our trip to France.”
”I did not think that you were serious,” replied I; ”you mentioned it as the resolution of a night, and I did not know that you might not think differently upon further consideration.”