Part 6 (1/2)
I went for Caroline, and a bitter parting it was; I hardly know which of the three cried the most, but after half-an-hour Madame Bathurst signed to me to take Caroline away, which I did, and afterwards put her into bed as soon as I could. Having remained with her till she had sobbed herself to sleep, I went down to the servants and gave Madame Bathurst's directions for the next morning, and then retired myself. Worn out as I was with such a day of anxiety and distress, I could not close my eyes for some time, reflecting upon what might be the issue of this breaking up of the connection to myself. I had been engaged as governess to Caroline, and I could not well expect that Madame Bathurst would wish to retain me now that Caroline was removed from her care; neither, indeed, would my pride permit me to accept such an offer if made, as I should become a mere dependent on her bounty, with no services to offer in return. That I must leave Madame Bathurst was certain, and that I must look out for some other situation. I took it for granted that Madame Bathurst would not permit me to leave immediately, but allow me a short time to look out for a suitable situation; but whether I should decide upon taking the situation of a governess after what Madame Bathurst had told me, or what situation I should seek was the cause of much thought and indecision. At last I could make no mind up, and decided that I would trust to Providence, and having so far come to a conclusion, I fell asleep.
After an early breakfast, I set off in the carriage with Caroline in charge, and before noon, we arrived at her father's house. The servants dressed in very gaudy liveries, ushered us into the library, where we found her father and mother waiting to receive her. A first glance satisfied me that they were swelled with pride at the change in their fortunes. Caroline was not received with great cordiality. There was a stiffness on the part of her parents which would have checked any feelings of affection on her part, had she been inclined to show them, which I was sorry to perceive she did not; indeed, her feelings appeared rather those of resentment for the conduct they had shown to her aunt.
After the salutation of meeting, Caroline sat down on a sofa, opposite to her father and mother. I remained standing, and when the pause took place I said, ”I was deputed by Madame Bathurst to convey your daughter safe to you, and as soon as the horses are baited, I am to return home.”
”Who may this person be, Caroline?” demanded her mother.
”I must apologise to Mademoiselle de Chatenoeuf for not having introduced her,” replied Caroline, blus.h.i.+ng with annoyance. ”She is a very dear friend of mine and my aunt's.”
”Latterly I have been the governess of your daughter, madame,” said I.
”Oh!” said the lady. ”Will somebody ring the bell?”
I presumed by this somebody it was intended to convey to me that I was to perform that office; but as they had not had the common civility to ask me to take a chair I took no notice.
”Will you ring the bell, my dear,” said the lady to her husband.
The gentleman complied; and when the servant entered the lady said, ”Show the governess into the small breakfast-room, and tell the coachman to put up his horses and bait them. He must be round again in an hour.”
The man stood with the door in his hand waiting for me to follow him.
Not a little indignant, I turned to Caroline, and said to her, ”I had better wish you good-bye now.”
”Yes, indeed, Valerie, you had,” replied Caroline rising from the sofa, ”for I am ashamed to look you in the face, after such treatment as you have received. Will you,” continued she, with great spirit, ”accept my apology for the behaviour of my parents towards one who is of a much higher family, and much higher breeding than they can boast of.”
”Hus.h.!.+ Caroline,” said I; ”recollect--”
”I do recollect, and shall continue to recollect, the insults to my dear aunt in the first place, and now the insult to you, my dear Valerie,”
retorted Caroline, who then put her arms round my neck and kissed me several times; having so done she darted from me, threw herself on the sofa and burst into tears, while I hastened to follow the servant, to escape from such an unpleasant scene.
I was shown into a small room, where I remained some little time, thinking how true were Madame Bathurst's observations as to what I might expect in the position of a governess, when a servant came in, and in a condescending manner asked if I did not wish to have some lunch. I replied in the negative.
”You can have a gla.s.s of wine if you choose,” continued he.
”You may leave the room,” I replied, calmly, ”I wish for nothing.”
The man went out, slamming the door, and I was again alone. I reflected upon the scene I had just been witness to, and I own that I was surprised at Caroline's conduct, who had always appeared so mild and amiable; but the fact appeared to me to be, that when parents give up their children to the care of another, they surrender at the same time all those feelings which should exist between parent and child to the party who undertakes the charge of them. The respect and love which by nature belonged to them were now transferred to her aunt, to whom Caroline was always obedient and attached. The insult to me was resented by Caroline as if it had been offered by perfect strangers to her; Caroline not feeling herself at all checked by filial duty. There appeared to be little prospect of any addition to the happiness of either of the parties by the return of Caroline to her father's house, and how it would end I could not surmise.
At last my reverie was interrupted by the servant coming in and telling me that the carriage was at the door. I immediately followed him and set off on my return, during which I resolved that I would not leave my own expectations any longer in doubt, but come immediately to an understanding with Madame Bathurst.
As it was late when I arrived, I did not see Madame Bathurst that evening, but she came down to breakfast the next morning, when I informed her of all that had occurred at her sister's, and the unceremonious manner in which I had been treated, and having done so, I then observed, that of course I did not expect to remain with her now that Caroline was gone, and begged she would give me her advice and a.s.sistance in procuring another situation.
”At all events, do not be in a hurry, Valerie,” replied Madame Bathurst; ”I trust you will not refuse to be my visitor until you are suited to your liking. I will not ask you to stay with me, as I know you will refuse, and I do not pay unnecessary compliments. And yet, why should you not? I know you well, and am attached to you. I shall feel the loss of Caroline severely. Why not remain?”
”Many thanks, my dear madame,” replied I, ”for your kind wishes and expressions, but you know my resolution has been made to earn my own livelihood.”
”I know that; but a resolution may be altered when circ.u.mstances demand it. Madame d'Albret was no more related to you than I am, and yet you accepted her offer.”
”I did, madame,” replied I, bitterly, ”and you know the result. I would have staked my life upon her sincerity and affection, and yet how was I cast away? With every feeling of grat.i.tude, my dear madame, I cannot accept your offer, for I never will put myself in a similar position a second time.”
”You do not pay me a very great compliment by that remark, Valerie,”
said Madame Bathurst somewhat harshly.