Part 6 (1/2)

'And probably got us all killed.'

'It would have been more exciting than selling them ice-creams,' Tuppe complained.

'Have you quite finished?' Anna asked.

'No,' said Tuppe.

'Yes,' said Cornelius. 'He's quite finished.'

'I have not.'

'You have.'

'Huh!' said Tuppe.

'Listen,' said Anna. 'You're going about this all the wrong way. You haven't planned ahead.' She sat down on the floor of the van. 'You have the ocarina. But you don't know which notes to play.'

'The new ones,' said Cornelius.

'But you don't know what order to play them in. You surely didn't think you could just belt out any random bunch of notes and expect one of these portals of yours to swing right open?'

'I did,' said Tuppe.

'You would,' said Anna.

'Hold on,' said Cornelius. 'What you are saying is that the new notes must be played in a precise sequence?'

'Like knowing the right combination to open a safe, yes.'

'It makes sense. It does make sense, doesn't it, Tuppe?'

'S'pose so.' Tuppe made a huffy face. Cornelius took out the reinvented ocarina and handed it to Anna. 'Go on then,' he said.

'Yeah,' said Tuppe. 'Go on then.'

Anna examined the instrument. 'You are quite sure you drilled the holes in the right places?' she asked in a cool voice.

'Absolutely certain. I told you, the holes cor-respond to points on the map that Tuppe and I stopped at during our epic journey.' - 'Then they would be your best bet.'

'What do you mean? We should go back to all the places?'

'No.' Anna shook her beautiful head. Her mother had told her that all men were basically stupid.She would one day pa.s.s this wisdom on to daughters of her own. 'Play the notes in the same order as you visited the places. That would be my plan.'

Cornelius adjusted his cap, opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't think of anything to say.

'You can remember the order?' Anna asked.

'Yes,' said Cornelius. 'I mean, no. But I have the map here.' He dragged the crumpled item from his pocket and spread it out on the dashboard.

'Then', Anna handed back the ocarina, 'why don't you have a little practice and when you feel confident, we'll give it a quick burst through the loudspeaker and see what happens.'

'And if nothing does?' Tuppe asked.

'If nothing does, it will mean one of two things. Either I'm wrong, or you are.'

'I'm not wrong,' said Cornelius Murphy.

'Then go for it.'

'OK, but we will do it this way: Tuppe will play the ocarina, I will sit at the wheel, with the engine running, ready to make a swift getaway if needs be. And you will keep a look out. How does that sound?'

'Sounds good to me.' Tuppe scrambled up on to the dashboard and perused the map. Anna turned her back upon him and gazed out of the rear window. Cornelius pa.s.sed the small man the ocarina.

'Right,' said Tuppe. 'I think I can get my fingers round it. Here we go.' He put the ocarina to his lips and he blew.

Now, there is music, and then there is music. But a tune is a tune is a tune. It can be 'The Birdy Song', or 'Big Eyed Beans from Venus'. Or even that brown thing that lies underneath the grand piano (Beethoven's last movement). But you can always get, as they say, a handle on it somewhere. There is always something you can recognize. Some note, or tone, or scale. No matter how discordant, or off the wall, you can always recognize something.

But not this time. Not with these notes. Now played in their correct order, they simply bore no resemblance whatsoever to any other notes yet known. They inhabited a realm of sound as yet uncharted by the human ear.

The effect they had upon the occupants of the stolen ice-cream van was, to say the least, varied.

Anna was enraptured. Her mouth fell open and her breath hovered in her lungs. s.h.i.+vers ran up and down her spine and all around many other places besides. She suddenly felt as h.o.r.n.y as h.e.l.l.

Cornelius didn't. He felt anything but. The notes put his teeth on edge and had his bladder reaching critical ma.s.s.

And as for Tuppe.

'Help!' screamed the small one, as he swept from his perch on the dashboard, to become plastered against the roof of the van. Here he floundered around, dropping the ocarina and whatever tenuous hold he ever had on reality. 'Get me down! Get me down!'

Cornelius leapt immediately to his friend's aid. He clawed at Tuppe. Tried to prise him down. But the player of the reinvented ocarina was now stuck fast.

'Do something Cornelius,' he howled. 'I'm getting crunched here.'

'Anna, help us.'

Anna stood, gazing into s.p.a.ce and wearing a foolish grin.

'Anna, help. Help Tuppe, come on.

Anna blinked. 'That was wonderful. Do it again.' She turned and gaped up at Tuppe. 's.h.i.+va's sheep!'

'Come on, hurry. I can't get him down.'

'Hurry,' gasped Tuppe.

'Magic,' gasped Anna.

'Come on. Help me.'