Part 23 (1/2)
”No, Alexander. No, nothing's wrong. And to answer your question: Yes ... yes, I would be proud to have a son like you. Although if you were my son, I'd probably encourage you to smile a bit more. But that would be all.”
”You could love me the way I am?”
”Of course, Alexander.”
”Well... if my father is to be your son-in-law... can't you love him the same way?”
For once in her life, Lwaxana had no idea what to say.
Deanna found that she was echoing the words she had said to Worf not too long ago. ”Our relations.h.i.+p doesn't have to compare, Will. It's ... different. That's all. It's just different.”
”Different, but not better.”
”I don't believe in comparing and contrasting in that-”
”Dammit, Deanna!” His temper flared for the first time. ”In some ways, you're no different than you were years ago! Overintellectualizing everything instead of going with your gut! For someone who's supposed to be an empath, sometimes you can be so out of touch with your own feelings it's nothing short of amazing!”
”You don't have to be insulting, Will___”
”I'm not...” With effort, he calmed himself. ”I don't mean to be insulting, Deanna. I just... I had an image in my mind of how this was going to go, and it's not exactly... well...”
”Will, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that things don't always go the way they're supposed to.”
”True enough. After all, if they did, you and Worf wouldn't be engaged.”
”Will... what do you see happening here?”
He took her hands in his. ”I see you realizing-as I have- that it's not too late for us. That we are meant to be together. That we can still make it all work. I know, I know, it's coming at a bad time. But I couldn't keep quiet any longer. I've had to reprioritize my life, and I want you to be a part of that, as I want to be a part of yours. And I want you to know that, no matter what happens, I love you as no one else can or will. Not Worf. Not anyone.”
A dozen emotions vied for dominance in Deanna, her heart battling against her brain, her soul trying to sort it all out. ”Come,” she said suddenly, tugging on his hands.
”Come where?”
”To the house. Mother will want to see you.”
”I... I don't think that'd be a good idea.”
”Oh, why? You know she'd love to.”
”She was never crazy about me,” he said, shaking his head. ”I don't think it'd be wise___”
”Not crazy about you? Will, for heaven's sake, when Mother was in phase, she considered the possibility of you as a mate. Obviously you're not exactly repellent to her.” She tilted her head in curiosity. ”You look so surprised... .”
”I'm just... startled that you would bring that up, that's all. Actually, I guess that's part of the reason I'm uncomfortable about seeing her at the moment. Here I am, pleading my case with you. Considering my history with your mother, well... you know...”
”I... I suppose...” Deanna said uncertainly.
”I just need some more time with you... time to be alone, just the two of us, to talk things out... can you give me that, at least... ?”
”I...” She took a deep breath, with the distinct feeling that she was making a life decision. ”All right, Will. I... I suppose I owe it to you ... and to me ... and to everything that we had ...”
”Have.”
”... had together,” she continued. ”But I won't lie to Worf. I can't. You and I, we'll get together, and we'll talk and... and we'll see, we'll just see ... but I'm going to tell Worf that that's what I'm doing.”
”He's not going to be thrilled.”
”He'll understand, I'm sure of it. He wouldn't want us to be married unless everyone's conscience was clear.”
”All right.” Riker looked less than enthused. ”All right... I think you're making a mistake, but all right.”
”Where do you want to go? There are some nice places in town... .”
”Actually ... I know exactly where I want to go. There's only one place, really.” He smiled, and he looked years younger. ”The Janaran Falls.”
”Oh, Will... I don't know ...”
”The Janaran Falls, Deanna. It has to be there, don't you see? Everything that went wrong with the relations.h.i.+p ... everything that I screwed up, and it was me, Imzadi, I admit it, it was me ... happened after the Falls. We were happy there. It was the last time we saw each other, after all, and probably the best time.”
Her hands tightened on his.
”Deanna ... is something wrong ... ?”
”The ... last time we saw each other...”
”That's ... that's right...” He looked confused. ”Deanna ... there is something wrong, isn't there. Is it something I said? I'm sorry, I just... I have such fond memories of that time... .”
”That last time.”
”Right. Why do you keep saying that?”
Her jaw hardened, and her dark eyes became very cold. Then, without a word, she turned and started to head toward Lwaxana's house.
”Deanna! What's wrong? Come on, I'm ent.i.tled to know!”
She stopped some feet away from him. She was standing on an elevation of the incline and looked down at him in what seemed a most imperious fas.h.i.+on. ”Oh, I think you already know.”
”No, I don't!”
She was so angry that she didn't trust herself to verbalize. Instead a thought projection blew out from her with such force that it staggered Riker when it sounded in his head.
think you do... Tom.p> He tried to speak, but nothing came out.
”I will not meet you at the Janaran Falls,” Deanna said loudly. ”I don't know what your game is, or what you were hoping to accomplish. But you tried to fool me, to use me ...”
”It's not like that, Deanna... .”
”It is exactly like that. I don't know what you're doing here, but your coming here was a mistake. I suggest you rectify it immediately by leaving, now.”
”Deanna.”