Part 21 (1/2)
”Is that all you see of what we've been doing?” she asked, getting to her feet. She placed her hands on her hips. ”Just wasting your valuable time? And don't you walk away from me!”
That was exactly what Worf was doing. ”We are done with this absurdity.”
”You don't love her, Worf. Not like Riker did.”
The harsh words brought him up short. ”What. Did, You. Say?”
”She deserves the best,” Lwaxana said defiantly, not the least bit intimidated by his clearly building wrath. ”Will and Deanna, they were Imzadi. They share a bond you can never have.”
”What bond? What does 'Imzadi' mean? Is this another of your 'lessons'?”
She stared at him and he felt as if she were truly seeing him for the first time. And she seemed, somehow, to deflate, ever so slightly, as if something had been taken away from within her. ”No, Mr. Worf. The lessons are over. We're done. Here. Let me put it to you in a way you will understand.”
And she went to the paint-covered easel, drew back her arm, and plunged her fist through it. The canvas ripped easily enough, and the entire easel tilted over. She caught the canvas before it fell, gripped it firmly, twisted at the waist, and then let fly with all her strength. As if on cue, a breeze caught up the easel and carried it down, down to the water far below. It landed there and floated for a moment, supported by the wood of the frame.
Lwaxana looked at her hands. Tinged with red paint as they were, they looked almost bloodstained. She gave him one last, disappointed look and then walked away, shaking her head. Worf remained behind, standing at the precipice, looking down at the ruined painting far below in the water. The tide was going out apparently, and slowly, ever so slowly, the ruined painting was carried away with it. ”Nice throw,” he noted.
Deanna had just come back from the art museum and was burbling happily with Chandra over piping-hot gla.s.ses of moog when Worf walked in. He said nothing; just stood there and seethed. One did not have to be an empath to know that he was not particularly happy.
”Chandra, perhaps you'd better...” Deanna said.
”... leave, yes, I was just thinking that,” Chandra replied, overlapping her. With a hasty good-bye, she quickly exited the house, leaving Worf and Deanna alone.
”Where is Alexander?”
It wasn't the first thing she was antic.i.p.ating that he would say, but she readily replied, ”He wished to visit with my mother. They're very fond of each other, you know.”
”Yes, I know.”
”So I brought him over to the house. She wasn't home, but Mr. Homn was attending to him. I had the appointment with Chandra and I really didn't want to break it, otherwise I would have stayed with him. I didn't think there would be a problem with that. Is there?”
”No. No.”
”Worf, what happened? I mean, clearly something did.”
He paced a moment more before he could calm himself down sufficiently to frame his thoughts. ”I know why she is doing this to me. But why are you doing it?”
”Doing what? I don't understand... .”
”Do you love me for who I am?”
”Absolutely. And I also love you for what you can b-”
”There,” and he stabbed a finger at her. ”There is the problem. We have different definitions of what I can be. Or should be. I am a Klingon, Deanna.” He thudded his fist against his chest. ”That is not a state of mind. That is who I am. If my adopted parents could not make me into a human, what makes you think you can make me into a Betazoid?”
”I'm not trying to turn you into a Betazoid, Worf, don't be absurd! Neither is my mother! We just wanted you to understand. Not become. Just understand ...”
”Oh, I understand all too well. What is 'Imzadi'?”
She actually seemed to blanche when he said the word. ”What?”
”What does that word mean? I am asking you a straightforward question. What means 'Imzadi'?”
”It's ... a term of endearment. It means 'beloved.'”
But Worf shook his head, clearly refusing to believe it. ”No. That is not all. Not from the way she said it. She gave it significance beyond a simple endearment.”
”Worf, this is silly. Nothing is going to be accomplished by-”
”What does it mean!”
She was taken aback by what she saw in his eyes. There was a cold, burning fury. She wasn't intimidated, she didn't think he was going to hurt her. Instead the anger seemed directed inward, as if he was furious with himself over something that was eating at him. She drew herself up, steadied her chin, and said, ”All right. It has a secondary and... deeper meaning.”
”And that would be-?”
”'The First.'”
”The First.” It took a moment for him to understand, but then he did. His eyes widened. ”Are you saying that Commander Riker ... he was your ...”
She nodded. ”But it's more than that. It's not just the first person who captures your body. It's the first person who captures your... well... your soul.”
”Your soul mate.”
”I... wouldn't put it that way.”
”But you would not deny it.”
For a moment, it seemed as if tears were about to well up in Deanna's eyes. Tears of frustration, of upset over the hurt that she could see Worf was enduring ... a hurt that he would never admit to, because he might consider it a sign of weakness. ”Worf... what would you have me do? I can't go back and make myself not fall in love with Will, back when he was a.s.signed here to Betazed. I can't alter the course of our relations.h.i.+p. I can't go back in time and reorder it to my liking.”
Her comment touched a nerve in Worf... but he couldn't quite determine why. Instead he asked, ”So ... where does that leave us.”
”It leaves us right where we were before, Worfl I love you. You love me, don't you?”
Slowly he nodded. ”But,” he said, ”it can never be the same as what you had with William Riker, can it.”
”So it won't be the same,” she said tiredly. ”It will be different. Not everyone loves everyone in the same way, Worf! You're not in compet.i.tion with Will Riker.”
”It seems to me that I am.”
”I can't control how things seem to you, Worf. You just have to believe me that I'm not measuring you up against Will.”
”Am I a better lover than he was?”
If Deanna paled before at the mention of the word ”Im-zadi,” this time she went in the other direction, turning positively red. ”Worf! Oh my G.o.d, I can't believe you asked that-! You don't hear me asking if I'm a better lover than Alexander's mother was!”
”Do you want to know?”
”No! I don't! Because unlike some people, I'm not in compet.i.tion with a memory!”
”It is different.”