Part 3 (1/2)
”Not concerned?” His eyes widened. ”On what do you base that?”
”On the fact that you didn't ask after me,” Alexander said. ”That you didn't make any effort to make sure that I made it to the saucer section before the separation. That you didn't try to find me since the crash.”
”How do you know that I made no effort?” demanded Worf. ”Do you expect that I would go running from one person to the next, asking if they had seen you? I have, in fact, been endeavoring to spot you. Where were you?”
”He was in the woods, nursing his broken leg,” Deanna informed him.
”Where he could not easily be seen,” pointed out Worf. ”This is nonsense, Alexander.”
Alexander paused, as if trying to find exactly the right way to phrase it. ”When ... when everyone was running ... trying to get to the saucer section ... I saw parents. So many of them, officers and civilians alike ... calling out for each other, finding each other, making sure that their children and spouses were all right. Did you come looking for me, Father? Answer me honestly. If you simply couldn't locate me in all the turmoil, that's ... that's not so bad. But did you leave the bridge to look for me?”
”No,” Worf said immediately. ”I would not abandon my post. Nor would I insult you by looking for you.”
”Insult me?” Alexander couldn't quite believe it. ”Showing you cared about me ... would be an insult... ?”
”Alexander,” Worf said, clearly looking annoyed that something so self-evident to him required explanation. ”You have partic.i.p.ated in emergency drills on the Enterprise. You are familiar with what needs to be done in an evacuation scenario, are you not?”
”Yes.”
”You are no longer a child. No longer a newling who requires constant maintenance. You are a young Klingon now, rapidly approaching the day when you will be warrior stock. For me to abandon my post and run about, attempting to find you and oversee you during an evacuation process in which you have been thoroughly schooled, would be to imply that I had no faith in you. That I did not believe you were fully capable of conducting yourself in an adult and professional manner befitting not only my son, but a Klingon. I trusted you to go where you needed to go, and be where you were required to be. I would not dream of insulting you by treating you in a manner that suggested you were incapable of tending to yourself. Is that what you want? That I should insult you in this way?”
Alexander looked down. ”No, Father.”
”Good. Enough of this nonsense, then.”
And at that, Deanna said sharply and firmly, ”It's not nonsense, Worf.”
He glanced at her in confusion. ”What?”
She opened her mouth to speak again, but then closed it. Instead she walked quickly to Worf and took him a few steps away from Alexander so that they could speak in relative privacy. In a low voice, she said, ”Whether you agree with it or not... even though you yourself believe that you were operating from motives of only the purest respect... Alexander still felt slighted. He still felt as if you didn't care whether he lived or died. That is a very powerful emotion, Worf, and simply to brush it off as 'nonsense' is to diminish Alexander's sense of self-worth.”
”Am I to apologize for not babying him?” demanded Worf. ”He went off into the woods in order to tend to his own injury, did he not?”
”Yes.”
”That is the Klingon way,” he told her. ”He has learned well. On a stars.h.i.+p in which there are exactly two Klingons and he is surrounded by humans, I consider it nothing short of miraculous that in a time of stress, he acted properly. Would you have me backslide in my training of him now by making me fuss over him like a ...”
”I'm not proposing to 'make' you do anything,” Deanna said calmly. ”It is clear, however, that you are very proud of your son. All I am saying is that there are ways in which to make that clear... and ways to do so in a manner that will acknowledge your son's concerns and lay them to rest without making him feel as if he's a fool simply for feeling that way.”
”I did not...”
He wasn't able to finish the sentence, because she simply looked at him in that way that was both patient and stern. The wheels in his mind turned and he sighed. ”Oh ... very well,” he growled.
”You can do it,” she said confidently. ”I know that you can.”
He walked back to Alexander and stood over him, his arms folded. ”I want you to know,” he said slowly, ”that I am very proud of the way that you have conducted yourself this day. You bring honor to yourself... and to me. I regret that the price for that conduct was a belief, on your part, that your survival was of secondary importance to me. You are, and always will be, of primary concern to me, Alexander. I would prefer that you never forget that, and know that I take utmost pride in you, and in your accomplishments.” He paused a moment, ran what he had just said through his mind for review, and nodded. Then he turned to Troi. ”How was that?”
She stood there, arms folded, amus.e.m.e.nt in her dark eyes. It was clear that she was waiting for him to add something, and he knew perfectly well what it was. The knowledge did not sit particularly well with him.
”You can do it,” she prompted.
He growled, cleared his throat, and added-apparently under some small mental protest-”And ... I love you.” It was more muttered than anything, coming out as, ”And ... I uvu,” which was not exactly inspiring. It was, however, apparently sufficient for Alexander, who nodded in acknowledgment of the sentiment.
”I love you too, Father,” he replied.
”Of course you do,” Worf said stiffly. ”I knew that.”
Then, to the surprise of the two Klingons, there was a musical, lilting laughter from near them. It was almost as if they had forgotten that Deanna was present. ”What is so funny?” demanded Worf.
”The two of you,” she said. ”The body language, so stiff, so formal,” and she squared her jaw in imitation. ”Worf, Alexander... you have to maintain your sense of love for each other. Your familiarity. Your sense of fun!”
”We have crash-landed on a strange world and my son's leg is broken,” Worf reminded her. ”This would not particularly be the time to dwell on matters of 'fun.'”
”It's just that...” She sighed. ”It seems an eternity ago that the two of you were dressing up as cowboys. Alexander, you're so much taller, and Worf, you're so much more serious....”
”I do not know that I agree with that a.s.sessment....”
Smiling, she placed a hand lovingly on his face. ”Worf... remember your promotion ceremony the other day? I practically had to drag you, kicking and screaming, to the holodeck.”
”I neither kicked nor screamed,” Worf informed her archly. ”Had I done so, not you nor a hundred Betazoids could have gotten me there.”
”That would be the ceremony you wouldn't let me come to?” Alexander asked his father pointedly. ”The one where you said it was a lot of adults acting foolishly, and you didn't want to expose me to it?”
He looked from Alexander to Troi, who was smirking in a knowing manner, and then back to Alexander. ”I do not recall phrasing it in quite that manner.”
”It wasn't especially flattering, however you phrased it,” Alexander said.
”Worf, we can discuss it later... .”
”No,” said Worf, suddenly feeling challenged, particularly thanks to the way that Alexander was looking at him. He turned to face Deanna and said, ”What are you saying?”
”Worf, honestly, it-”
”Spell. It. Out.” There was an edge to his voice that hadn't been there before.
”Well, it...” She cast about for the right words, and then shrugged and decided simply to go with whatever occurred to her. ”You ... tend to create s.h.i.+elds around yourself. You don't let down your guard easily. And because of that, people-Alexander, in this case-tend to magnify everything you say and do. They get little to no feedback from you as to how you truly feel or what you're thinking. As a consequence, they tend to fill in the blanks themselves. This can lead to misinterpretation, hurt feelings ... that sort of thing.”
”Of course I am guarded. I am Klingon. If we do not have our guards up, we leave ourselves vulnerable to attack.”
”Only in a war.”
”Life,” Worf intoned, as if it had been drilled into him, ”is a war.”
”No,” Deanna shot back with surprising vehemence. ”Life is life. War is the loss of life. And I think you know the difference, Worf... better than any other Klingon.” Then, as if caught off guard at the stridency of her own reaction, she softened her voice and said, ”And I can think of no Klingon better suited to teach that to Alexander than his father... provided, of course, that you come to believe that.”
”I believe that you believe it.” He paused a moment and then said, ”May I speak to you in private a moment, Counselor?”
Deanna glanced over to Alexander, but he shrugged indifferently. ”Don't worry about me. I won't run away,” he said with bleak humor. ”Not that I could even if I wanted to... .”
”All right,” she said, and she walked off with Worf. Alexander watched them go and tried to figure out just what might be on his father's mind.