2 Chapter 1: The acciden (2/2)
Wow, the edge…I was bleeding just from listening to him speak. This guy reminded me of all those edge lords on the Internet. Just my bad luck that I had to run into one of them in hell.
”Anyway…” Xiang Si stared nervously ahead. I hadn't noticed when he was speaking, but it seemed that my turn was drawing nearer and nearer. The few hundred in front of me had been reduced to mere dozens. I guessed I would be through the gates before the day was done. Lucky me. But Xiang Si didn't seem to think so. ”You know what that tea is, right?”
”That's soup,” I corrected. ”That's Grandmother Meng. She serves the Mi Hun Tang or Soul Bewitching Soup. It's supposed to bewitch your soul and cause permanent amnesia, wiping out all memories of your current life.”
”I know what that means,” Xiang Si snapped. Oh, really? Then why the fuck were you asking me about it? ”After we drink that soup, we forget everything and we walk through that gate to get reincarnated.”
”Yeah.” I stared longingly at the red gates, whose interior stayed teasingly out of sight. ”I wonder what kind of family I would be born into.”
Xiang Si stared at me as if I was mad. I stared back at him, suspecting that he was mad.
”Why the fuck would you want to be reincarnated?”
I shrugged. ”Why wouldn't I?”
”You want to return to that fucked up world? To get abused again? To get tortured and looked down by everybody, then driven to suicide again? I already have enough of living. I killed myself to escape living in that messed-up world! Of course I don't want to go back there!”
I nodded in feigned understanding. I did have several of those thoughts occasionally, but only in the heat of the moment. But when I calmed down, I realized how juvenile those edgy thoughts were. Perhaps Xiang Si would finally realize what a fool he was making himself out to be when he came to his senses. Behind, an old man snorted.
”The younger generation is so weak these days. Can't even take something like that, and start crying all over the place.”
”Shut up, geezer!” Xiang Si rounded on him. ”It's your fault that the world is so screwed up right now! All because of people like you!”
”Hey…” I spoke up, trying to bring Xiang Si's attention away from the poor old guy, who looked as if he was going to flare up and fight. ”That's enough. I understand your pain, but don't take your anger out on other people.”
Xiang Si turned on me, his nostrils flaring. He grabbed me by the shoulders.
”Friend, let's go. Let's get out of here before they force us to reincarnate. I'm never going back to that world!”
”Uh, good for you. I'll stay in line.”
Like hell I was going to run off and give up my spot after queuing for what seemed like several days.
”Are you crazy?!”
Xiang Si was shaking me violently now. Dude, you need to take a chill pill. I tried to brush his hands off and stumble away.
”You want to go back and live in that world?! That crazy, fucked up world?!”
”Look,” I growled impatiently. ”I don't know what kind of experiences you had, but this is a chance for a new life, one that might be free of abuse, of…”
”Hah!” Xiang Si snorted. ”I have lost faith in the human race. All humans are evil. Don't delude yourself. If you get reincarnated, you'll just suffer again.”
Wow…this edgy guy was really on edge.
”I'll take my chances.”
The bastard looked like he was going to slap me. ”Why did you even kill yourself in the first place?!”
I smiled at him pleasantly. ”I sacrificed myself to save an old man from getting hit by a truck. It was worth it.”
Xiang Si looked as if he was the one who got hit by a truck. He staggered back, shocked at what he deemed was my betrayal, then jabbed his finger at me and began raving and ranting.
”Traitor! Fucker! You lied to me!”
”No, I didn't…”
As usual, Xiang Si interrupted me and refused to listen to what I had to say.
”I hate you! It's people like you that fucked up the world! Go reincarnate and get driven to suicide again! I hope the world ends while you're still in it!”
With that, he sprinted off.
I watched after him in exasperation, then decided not to pursue him. Whatever that idiot wanted to do was completely none of my business.
Xiang Si didn't get very far. Suddenly, two gigantic demons descended from the murky, cloudy skies and landed on either side of him. Their grotesque, grinning visages bore down on the hapless teenager, causing him to shriek. Despite the fella pissing his pants (or gown), the two demons mercilessly snatched him up and carried him toward the gate. Xiang Si's struggles intensified as he sought to free himself, but the demons' grips were too strong. I watched their massive gruesome figures, fiery red skin that stretched over their heavily muscled, humanoid torsos, and shuddered.
”Let me go! I don't want to be reincarnated! I don't…!”
I caught one last glance from Xiang Si, the fool actually pleading me for help. I rolled my eyes and turned away. This was for his own good.
Come to think of it, while Xiang Si told me his name, he never asked me for mine. The guy was so self-centered and self-absorbed in his own misery that he didn't care about anybody except himself. No wonder he wasn't interested in listening to anyone but himself. Ironically, he blamed others for deceiving him when he was the one who interrupted them before they could explain fully.
”Serves him right,” the old guy behind me muttered.
I watched coldly as the demons forcibly pinned Xiang Si down on the floor for Grandma Meng to pour the soup into his mouth. Xiang Si choked and tried to spit it out, but he couldn't. He wept, wailed and gnashed his teeth, but then the effects of the Soul Bewitching Soup took effect and he suddenly slumped down, slack-jawed and hollow-eyed. The demons hauled him to his feet and threw him through the slightly ajar gates.
I definitely didn't want to be manhandled like that, so I behaved myself as best as I could until it was finally my turn. When I finally stepped up to the fuming, bubbling cauldron, waiting for Grandma Meng to give me my cup of soup, she suddenly frowned and consulted the list she had in her hand.
”You're Fei Wu, right?”
”That's right, ma'am.
”…your name is not on the list.”
”Then why do you know my name?”
Grandma Meng raised an eyebrow, but then realized that was a good question. She smiled good-humoredly.
”I know the names of every ghost who walks the Bridge of Helplessness.” She raised the list. ”But your name is not on the list.”
”Uh…so what do I do?”
Grandma Meng shrugged. ”For one thing, you don't drink my soup.”
”But, Grandma!” I protested hotly, not wanting to go through this whole ordeal again. ”I've been waiting in line for almost seven days! You can't do this to me!”
”Yes, I can,” Grandma Meng replied coolly. ”And I'm not your grandma.”
”Hey!” one of the ghosts shouted callously behind me. ”You're holding up the line! Just get lost!”
”And go where?” I glanced upward, half-expecting the giant demons to appear out of the sky and escort me somewhere. At least that would be much preferable to leaving me in eternal limbo, wandering around the underworld for eternity.
”Hmm, about that…”
Grandma Meng stopped stirring the steaming stew in her cauldron and placed a wrinkled, bony finger on her chin as she pondered thoughtfully. I half-wanted to just throw myself between the gates, but I dismissed that desire, knowing that the demons would just appear out of nowhere and grab me before I could.
”In cases like this, it means that you're not dead and your soul somehow mistakenly ended in the underworld by mistake. So you'll have to go by that gate.”
I blinked and stared as Grandma Meng pointed at a much smaller gate by the side of the gigantic red gates that led to reincarnation. It was brown and green, and looked a lot more furnished and taken care of than the gigantic red ones.
”…where does that lead to?”
Grandma Meng shrugged. ”As compensation for accidentally taking you to the underworld when you're not supposed to die yet, we'll give you something as a token of apology.”
”Give me what?” I asked nervously. Grandma Meng smiled enigmatically.
”You'll find out when you walk through those gates.”
Ah. I think I knew what this was all about. I had read about this in web novels before. Compensation for taking my soul when I wasn't supposed to die yet…in other words, they were going to make it up to me by allowing me to reincarnate not in Earth but another world! A medieval fantasy world with swords, magic and monsters! I was going to be reincarnated in the body of an adventurer or magician! That must be the ”token of apology”! That was also why they weren't going to take my memories. Adventures in other fantasy worlds had a requirement that the reincarnated main characters preserve their memories of Earth so that they could make use of their modern scientific knowledge and education for unfair advantages in a medieval world!
”Thank you very much, Grandma!”
”Well, it was our mistake, after all.” Grandma Meng shrugged and went back to stirring the contents of her cauldron. ”And stop calling me grandma.”
I bowed gratefully for one last time before I sprinted toward the small gates. The brown gates automatically opened, as if welcoming me, and I plunged into it eagerly.
The next thing I knew, my consciousness was swamped with darkness, and as the celestial forces moved to reincarnate me in a brand new world, I knew nothing.