Part 18 (2/2)
”Then leave.”
He shook his head. Took a step forward. ”Not until we've talked.”
”You mean, not until you've made sure I won't talk,” she replied, trying not to be lulled into complacency simply because he looked like the man she had trusted.
Or because her body-even her idiot heart-responded to him on sight.
”There are things you need to understand, Gabrielle.” ”Oh, I do understand,” she said, amazed that her voice held no tremor. Her fingers came up near her neck, feeling for the cross pendant she hadn't worn since her first communion. The delicate talisman seemed like ridiculously flimsy armor now that she was standing in front of Lucan, with nothing to separate them except a few strides of his long, muscular legs. ”You don't have to explain anything to me. It's taken me a while, granted, but I think I finally understand it all.”
”No. You don't.” He came toward her, pausing to notice the knot of chalky white bulbs tied above his head in the door of the kitchen. ”Garlic,” he drawled, and exhaled an amused chuckle.
Gabrielle retreated a pace from him, her Keds squeaking on the kitchen tiles. ”I told you, I was expecting you.”
And she'd done a bit of other prep work before he arrived. If he looked around, he would find the same threshold decoration in every room of the apartment, including the front door. Not that he seemed to care.
Multiple locks hadn't stopped him and neither had this further attempt at a security measure. He walked under Gabrielle 's homemade vampire repellant unfazed, his eyes dark and fixed on her intently.
As he stepped closer, she backed up farther into the kitchen, until the counter came up behind her. A trial -sized mouthwash bottle lay on the polished granite top. It no longer contained Scope but a little something else she had picked up on her way home that morning, when she'd stopped in at St. Mary's for a long overdue confession. Gabrielle grabbed the plastic bottle off the counter and held it close to her chest.
”Holy water?” Lucan asked, coolly meeting her gaze. ”What are you going to do with that, throw it on me?”
”If I have to.”
He moved so quickly, she saw only a dizzying blur in front of her as he reached out and s.n.a.t.c.hed the small vial out of her grasp and emptied it into his hands. He smoothed his dripping fingers over his face and into his glossy black hair.
Nothing happened.
He tossed the useless container aside and took another step toward her.
”I'm not what you think, Gabrielle.”
He sounded so reasonable, she almost believed him. ”I saw what you did. You murdered a man, Lucan.”
He calmly shook his head. ”I killed a human who was no longer a man-hardly human at all, in fact. What had once been human in him was bled out by the vampire who made him into a Minion slave. He was as good as dead already. I merely finished the job. I regret that you had to see it, but I cannot apologize. And I won't. I would kill anyone, human or otherwise, who means to do you harm.”
”Which makes you either dangerously overprotective, or just plain psychotic. To say nothing of the fact that you sliced that guy's throat open with your teeth, and drank his blood!”
She waited for another composed reply. Some other rational explanation that might make her consider that even something as unbelievable as vampirism could actually make sense-could actually exist-in the real world.
But Lucan didn't give her any such response.
”This isn't how I wanted things to go between us, Gabrielle. G.o.d knows, you deserve better.” He muttered something low under his breath, in a language she could not understand. ”You deserve to be brought into this gently, by a male who will say the right words, and do the right things for you. That's why I wanted to send Gideon-” He raked his fingers through his hair in a gesture of frustration. ”I am no emissary for my race. I am a warrior. At times, an executioner. I deal in death, Gabrielle, and I am not accustomed to making excuses to anyone for my actions.” ”I'm not asking you for excuses.”
”What, then-the truth?” He gave her a wry smile. ”You saw the truth last night when I killed that Minion and drained him dry.
That was truth, Gabrielle. That is who I truly am.”
She felt a keen sickness in her belly that he hadn't even tried to deny the horror of what he was telling her. ”You're a monster, Lucan. My G.o.d, you're something out of a nightmare.”
”According to human superst.i.tions and folklore, yes. Those same stories would tell you to fight my kind with garlic or holy water-all farce, as you've just seen for yourself. In fact, our races are very closely intertwined. We are not so different from each other.”
”Really?” she scoffed, hysteria clutching at her as he took a step closer, forcing her to retreat again. ”Last time I checked, cannibalism wasn't high on my to-do list. Then again, neither was s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g the undead, but I seem to be doing that with a bit of regularity lately.”
He exhaled a humorless laugh. ”I a.s.sure you, I am not undead. I breathe, like you. I bleed, like you. I can be killed, though not easily, and I have been living for a long, long time, Gabrielle.” He came toward her, closing the small distance that separated them in the kitchen. ”I am every bit as alive as you are.”
As if to prove it, his warm fingers closed around hers. He brought her hand up between their bodies and pressed her palm against his chest. Through the soft fabric of his s.h.i.+rt, his heart pounded strong and steady. She felt his breath flowing in and out as his lungs expanded and contracted, the warmth of his body seeping into her fingertips, permeating her weary senses like a soothing balm.
”No.” She pulled away from him. ”No, d.a.m.n you! No more tricks. I saw your face last night, Lucan. I saw your fangs, your eyes! You said that was who you truly are, so what is this? Everything you present yourself to be now-everything I feel when I am near you-are they illusions?”
”I am real, as I stand here now... and as you saw me last night.”
”Then show me. Let me see the other you again instead of this one. I want to know what I'm really dealing with, it's only fair.”
He scowled as though her mistrust wounded him. ”The change cannot be forced. It is a physiological one that comes on with hunger, or during times of intense emotion.”
”So, how much of a head start will I have before you decide to rip open my jugular and go for broke? A couple of minutes? A few seconds?”
His eyes flashed at her provocation, but his voice remained level. ”I will not hurt you, Gabrielle.”
”Then why are you here? To f.u.c.k me again, before you turn me into something awful like you?”
”Jesus,” he ground out harshly. ”That's not how it-”
”Or are you going to make me your personal vampire slave, like that one you killed last night?”
”Gabrielle.” Lucan's jaw went rigid, as if his teeth were clenched hard enough to shatter steel. ”I came here to protect you, G.o.dd.a.m.n it! Because I need to know that you are safe. Maybe I'm here because I see that I've made mistakes with you, and I want to try to fix this somehow.”
She stood immobile, absorbing his unexpected candor, and watching the play of emotion on his harsh features. Anger, frustration, desire, uncertainty... she read all of it in his penetrating gaze. G.o.d help her, but she felt all of that and more churning like a tempest within herself as well.
”I want you to leave, Lucan.” ”No, you don't.”
”I never want to see you again!” she cried, desperate for him to believe her. She raised her hand to slap him, but he caught her easily, before she could strike. ”Please. Just get out of here, now!”
Ignoring her completely, Lucan took the hand that would have lashed out at him, and brought it tenderly to his mouth. His lips parted slowly as he pressed her palm into his hot, sensual kiss. She felt no bite of fangs, only the tender heat of his mouth, the moist caress of his tongue as it teased the sensitive flesh between her fingers.
Her head swam with the delicious feel of his lips on her skin.
Her legs weakened beneath her, her limbs, and her resistance, beginning a slow meltdown that started at her core.
”No,” she said, hurling the word at him as she pulled her hand out of his loose grip and shoved him away from her. ”No. I can't let you do this to me, not now. Everything between us has changed! It's all different now.”
”The only thing different, Gabrielle, is that you see me now with your eyes open.”
”Yes.” She forced herself to look at him. ”And I don't like what I see.”
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