Vol 3 Chapter 10 (1/2)

VOLUME 3

Chapter 10: Until the Rising of the Sun…

I felt a jolt, almost as if I had been punched in the face.

I couldn’t tell left from right from front from back anymore, and while I was in this state of drunkenness, the world around me completely changed.

The first thing I felt was warmth on my cheek.

There was something burning right next to me.

“Like the fires of Kagutsuchi that burned Izanami to death, bright flames are both a useful tool and a dangerous monster if carelessly touched.”

My mother’s voice resonated through the air.

She was in her usual priestess outfit, with her spotless white robe, red hakama, and split-toed socks.

She swung a s.h.i.+nto paper streamer (1) around in one hand and slowly walked.

She walked atop the flames.

“Our ability to use tools separates us from the animals. In order for humans to take their first step on the road to divinity, they must first conquer the monster that is fire. It is logical to say that fire burns, but spiritualists are able to bend logic to their will. You must thus master the n.o.ble ancient art of fire walking.”

This place was familiar to me.

There were a couple training halls in the mountains of Kyuushuu, where the Tsukuyomi Shrine was situated.

The bodies of humans were not imbued with much divinity at all, so to be able to confront inhuman monsters and the G.o.ds, spiritualists had to undergo intense training to gain powers that surpa.s.sed those of normal humans.

As my mother walked atop the menacing flames, not a single scorch mark appeared on her priestess clothes.

Fire walking was actually a type of training that you frequently saw in various religions and martial arts.

However, fire walking usually meant you were walking atop heated stones or iron bars, or thrusting your hands into a pile of hot ashes before cooling them… literally walking atop flames was a difficult skill you only saw powerful spiritualists doing in tales of legend.

However, we were at the Tsukuyomi Shrine, and spiritualists at this shrine specialized in supernatural powers so they could help manage all of j.a.pan. For them, they had to be able to do something like this with their eyes closed.

“Do not be afraid! After Kagutsuchi was conquered and defeated, many of the fundamental G.o.ds of creation were born from the ashes. Ihatsutsunoo, the G.o.d of minerals, Takemikaduchi, the G.o.d of lightning… destruction gives way to creation! So, chase yourself to the brink of death, and feel the power flow to you from gazing down into the abyss of destruction!”

I felt like I had just gotten thrown into the middle of a Dragonball episode…

“… To hear such arrogance from my own mouth…”

Suddenly, I heard a voice to my side.

Around me were crowded around a dozen new priestesses that my mother was training. They all looked terrified as they watched my mother walk across the fire.

Among that dozen was one who had her arms crossed and didn’t look particularly happy.

“It is quite unsettling to be shown an image of yourself from a time long past.”

“…… Mom?”

I softly called out to her, and she nodded.

“Are you over there, Sasami? It seems that our divine spirits – our souls – have separated from our bodies and are leading us back into the past. And we are then able to temporarily possess somebody there and move around like that. If we act too extravagantly, we may alter the past, but just talking like this should not cause any harm.”

“Yo! You guys over there?! I’m here!”

There was a Tsurugi-like priestess smiling right next to me.

“… But geez, this is some pretty insane training. Being human sure is tough. What’s the point of being able to walk on top of fire? I’d never be able to do it anyways. I’m pretty bad with hot stuff.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the Sun G.o.ddess…?”

I was a bit astonished at Tsurugi. At the moment, my mother turned to me looking rather pensive.

“Let me ask you once again, Sasami.”

She looked me straight in the eyes.

“Admittedly, I was acting rather impatiently the other day. Of course, I needed to move quickly, as I would not be able to stay in this world for an extended period of time. No matter how much one says that distorting reason is the spiritualist’s purpose, I deviated from the path too much. If I remained in this world too long, there was even the danger of me becoming a vengeful spirit like Sugawara-no-Michizane or Taira-no-Masakado.”

I didn’t really know how stuff like that worked, but…

I really had wanted to talk with my mother.

Once someone died, you would never be able to see them again.

But here I was talking to my mother again. It was a miracle.

My mother might have broken a terrible taboo and committed unforgivable crimes, but I was happy… and I didn’t want to make her efforts go to waste.

Earlier, I had failed.

I was being overly stubborn and my mother was being overly impatient, which had led it all to end in tragedy.

I would not make the same mistake twice.

I had betrayed my mother, gotten depressed, and shut myself into my room…

After that, it was just like Tamamo-no-Mae had said: I had felt regret.

I couldn’t forgive myself.

I felt terrible about how weak I was.

However, just curling up inside my futon and thinking about things for a long time wasn’t going to solve anything.

It just made everything hurt that much more.

So…

“Mom, I… no matter how many times you ask, I’m not going to go back to being the Tsukuyomi Priestess.”

“Yes, you have already said that.”

My mother wasn’t an impossibly stubborn person.

She was forward-thinking, a hard worker, and she was open-minded too.

“However, this is a precious power that we inherited from our ancestors. I cannot allow it to fall in the hands of someone with no motivation and who will not put it to good use.”

She said that without hesitation.

“So, temporarily… as much as time permits, I would like to take charge of the power of the Supreme G.o.d.”

Ahh, so that’s what she wanted.

“The power of the Supreme G.o.d is pa.s.sed on through incest. The swiftest way to pa.s.s the power on is to give birth to a child.”

“But I refused when I was asked to have a child with dad.”

My mother nodded.

“Yes. And if you refuse the standard methods of reproduction, then we must try different, even heretical methods. I remember the method that your ‘sarcoma’ used to take your power. It expanded your body, making you fat, before cutting itself off.”

A part of my body was cut off and by itself formed a new being.

In j.a.panese mythology, this was quite a common occurrence.

Take the second Yagami sister, Kagami. The Supreme G.o.d Amaterasu had cut off one of the cursed parts of her body, and that cut-off part gave birth to Kagami.

“We will thus take such a piece of flesh and imbue it with the power of the Supreme G.o.d, along with the strong will that is needed to take care of such power – namely, myself. Myself, who has crawled up from the Underworld in order to complete such a task. In other words, I will be reincarnated within that flesh.”

“Reincarnation, huh…?”

Tsurugi didn’t look too enthused by that plan.

“Well, I guess that’s better than that flesh being stolen way by an evil G.o.d at least…”

In the s.h.i.+nto religion, without a leader to guide people, there were no absolute laws.

So there really wasn’t originally anything fundamentally “taboo.”

In other words, all the rules and restraints were self-imposed.

There were holy sanctuaries – shrines and such – where one could communicate with the G.o.ds, talk things out, and come to mutual understandings.

Everyone would find common ground, and set down vague, but flexible rules.

Instead of taking the correct route, Tamamo-no-Mae had used an underhanded trick by trying to alter history. It was a cowardly move.

This dialogue my mother and Tsurugi were having was very appropriate, and very much reflected the culture of this country.

Although, given the tragedy of Izanami trying the same thing, (2) Tsurugi couldn’t easily forgive my mother’s escape from the Underworld.

“Well, I’m pretty much retired now, so I’m not gonna raise a fuss either way.”

The former Supreme G.o.d scowled and continued.

“But something like this hasn’t been done before, and I can’t really guess how all the other G.o.ds are gonna react. Sure, this isn’t as bad as coming back from the Underworld, and I guess it really sounds like something pretty j.a.pan-like. I mean, we G.o.ds have been doing stuff like this for ages. I’m talking about the old divination rituals where lots of new G.o.ds got born. (3) But we’ve gotta make sure we do it right, or the old man might get angry at me.”

“We will have no choice but to beg forgiveness then.”

My mother straightened her back graciously.

“I have but a short amount of time in this body, so you will have to overlook this one instance. This would be a forced reincarnation as well. It is very likely that my newly birthed self will not be able to live for very long. However, even if it is only for a few years, I would be able to manage the power of the Supreme G.o.d for just a little while longer.”

My mother had tried her very best, and offered me a stay of execution.

“Sasami.”

My mother called out to me softly.

“In that time, you should decide. Decide the life you want to live and the future of this land. No matter what anybody else says, you are the current Tsukuyomi Priestess. You have a duty to shoulder this role that has been pa.s.sed down since time immemorial. If you intend to abandon that role, then you should do so in good faith. Do not persist in giving in and fooling yourself into pretending that nothing is wrong.”

As always, my mother was strict.

“What would you like to do with the power of the Supreme G.o.d? My thoughts on the matter have stayed the same. The world is changing, all borders are breaking down, and I cannot leave this land to the wild, rampant G.o.ds. We humans must thoroughly manage things, as we need the land to be bountiful and our defenses to be strong. That is why we need the Tsukuyomi Priestess, and a world that is convenient for humans.”

“Sure, I guess the G.o.ds here aren’t too reliable.”

I wanted to just give her a simple, honest refusal.

“They’re weak, never know what to do, failing at everything…”

Just like me.

“But, even so, it is not our place to build a huge fortress around everyone else and claim we’re going to protect them. It’s like we’re building a zoo… the G.o.ds may be weak and lost and fail all the time, but that just means that they can get over their shortcomings and grow. And once they’ve accomplished this, won’t that mean they’ve grown strong?”

I really couldn’t put it into words well, but…

“It’s hubris for humans to think they’re the only ones who should try hard. Let’s trust the G.o.d of this land more. Ever since Ninigi-no-Mikoto descended from the heavens, we’ve clapped a hand over our eyes and ears, forgetting to talk with the G.o.ds. We think that trapping all the kids in a pen and not letting them out is the same as protecting them. It’s as if we’re idiot parents.”

I tried with all my might to find the right words.

“But, getting trapped in a room, in your futon… that’s not paradise at all. Let’s send them all into the big world outside. Let them go to school, into society, and even if they get hurt, they’ll definitely get strong someday. They’ll grow into adults. This is the end of the age of protection. I want to believe in the G.o.ds more.”

For a long time, we had shut ourselves in the mountains and were carrying out our duties.

For the sake of this land.

For the sake of the world, and the humans living in that world.

We honed our skills, walked atop fire, and prepared ourselves to fight the battle alone.

But, that wasn’t how things really should’ve been.

“We have only borrowed the power of the Supreme G.o.d temporarily, and are keeping watch over it. This power does not belong to us. Who are we to not understand that and think it’s our right to protect everyone? We really don’t have to try this hard for the sake of the world anymore.”

So, I would no longer try.

None of us had to try anymore.

“I’m pretty useless and I always get tossed around by the power of the Supreme G.o.d. So, I’ll give that power to mom for a while. In the meantime, I’ll try to grow. I’ll become strong to the point where that power can no longer crush me.”

We had to bring an end to the night.

Under just the moonlight, the world would do nothing but slowly wither away.

“After that, I’ll take the power of the Supreme G.o.d back. And then, I’ll pa.s.s it to the being who is actually fit to manage this land: the next generation G.o.d and the Supreme G.o.d of the new era, Yagami Tama.”

This was heavy baggage we were given when Ninigi-no-Mikoto descended to earth.

And I would give it back.

“Until Tama grows up, I’ll watch over this power with mom. And that’ll be that. All in all, the Tsukuyomi Shrine is to blame for being so desperate to protect this power for so long. We’ve had this immense burden for so long that we’ve forgotten why we got it in the first place.”

“Is that really what you think?”

I didn’t know if my mother was okay with what I said… but she began staring off into the distance.

“I received the power of the Supreme G.o.d by choice. Your grandmother was still alive, and I voluntarily underwent the proper rituals to become the Tsukuyomi Priestess. In your case, it was my untimely death that thrust this role upon you forcibly.”

I could almost hear a hint of relief in her voice as she spoke kindly.

“And so, I a.s.sumed you were just spoiled. I a.s.sumed you just lacked discipline, and I made light of you. No, I was probably justified in thinking that before. However, through long contemplation, you reached this conclusion. You finally remembered our original purpose that was handed down to us during the era of G.o.ds, a purpose that not a single one of us has managed to fulfill.”

My mother softly placed her hand atop my head.

“Your mother is proud of you.”

And then, she awkwardly stroked my hair.

“I was the foolish one, the one that was mistaken…”

Tsurugi smiled at those words.

“Nah, you weren’t wrong. You two just tried way too hard. Having to do this annoying job for all this time… seriously, good work. Seriously, I appreciate it.”

Tsurugi then snapped her fingers and made an announcement.

“Well, it looks like we still have some time left. We came all this way, so why don’t we have a look around?”

We found ourselves flying through a swirling vortex, with all the timelines mixing together around us.

The three of us made sure to nestle close to each other so we wouldn’t get separated as we traveled to the past.

I saw various scenes flas.h.i.+ng before my eyes.

Some of these scenes were from my own past.

We were in the Production Club room at Konohana Sakuya Academy.

Whenever I felt like it, I would go to the clubroom to chat with the others.

Kagami was there, completely engrossed in an animal picture book.

Next to her, Tama was doing her homework with tears welling up in her eyes.

I was teaching Tama how to work with fractions after she had begged me for help.

Tsurugi and my brother both had apparently finished their work for the day and showed up to the room. We took out a pack of cards and everyone got wrapped up in a game of Millionaire. (4)

For some reason, this turned into a game of strip Millionaire, and everyone began to aggressively target my brother. He soon lost all his clothes and ran from the room completely naked with a death grip on the briefcase he was still using to hide his face.

“What a happy happy life you all were leading…”

“Ehehe, right? Every day was really really fun!”

“Sasami, I’m pretty sure your mom is being sarcastic there.”

We talked with each other as we continued to leap across s.p.a.ce and time.

Now I was looking at an image of me and my brother, just after we had escaped from the Tsukuyomi Shrine.

The scene felt much more lonely than the scene from the clubroom we had just watched.

My brother had found a job and a home for us, and he had finished putting our living s.p.a.ce in order.

Meanwhile, I depended on my brother for everything and couldn’t do anything myself.

I blamed myself for being so weak, but out of my own stubbornness couldn’t tell my brother my honest feelings. I never thanked him, and everything just continued awkwardly.

I was sitting atop my bed in my spiritually barricaded room, hugging my knees.

I was probably getting crushed under the weight of my loneliness.

I couldn’t get anywhere, and was just filled with regret and guilt at having run away.

Tears welled up in my eyes. But I suddenly felt the bed swell up as my brother came leaping in.

— Kyaah?! Why are you in my bed?! How did you even get in here?!

— Your oniichan is always right next to you, Sasami-san!! Just pretend that instead of one oniichan, you actually have thirty!

— Shut up you c.o.c.kroach! Get out! Also I’m hungry so go cook something!

My brother was a pervert, so I didn’t have enough time to feel depressed.

That was probably what saved me.

“I am curious. How exactly did Kamiomi find a job and a house?”

“No idea. I don’t even think any records of us should’ve existed…”

“We just used alterations and managed that way. But Tsukuyomi… I dunno…”

We went back to an even earlier memory.

A very young me was dressed in priestess clothes and gripping tightly onto a crayon, drawing a picture.

It was Mother’s Day.

I had overheard from somewhere that such a holiday existed and was working hard so my mother would be happy.

I was planning on giving my mother a drawing of her.

Of course, I didn’t really have much artistic ability, so it wasn’t easy to tell whether I had drawn a human or a potato.

I went over and handed my mother the drawing, a look of happy confidence on my face. But my smile soon froze over.

— Do not draw, Sasami. Creating art is evil. When humans create art, they pa.s.s their wishes into what they create. And the wishes of those with the power of the Supreme G.o.d can greatly distort the world.

I saw my portrait being ripped into two in front of my very eyes.

— If you have time to play, then spend more time on your trainings and stop being such a failure.

My mother spoke those harsh words and I ran off, sniffling.