Vol 2 Chapter 4 (2/2)
I was putting on a one-woman play on screen.
”Uwaah, something like this is thirty thousand yen…”
I was staring right at this Ibuki-chan or whatever.
It was a girl with a lot of skin showing, skin so pale that it almost hurt the eyes. And that was supposed to be armor? Looked more like a swimsuit…
She looked young, but her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were huge.
Maybe she was a demon or something, but there were horns sprouting from her head, and for some reason she was holding onto a vicious-looking metal rod.
”……”
The me on screen looked back and forth for a while between Ibuki-chan and the memo. Then, I looked towards a shop employee, and the minute we made eye contact I looked down again. Geez, I was acting suspiciously.
”What’s wrong? She found what she was looking for…”
My brother was bouncing up and down, ready to leap to my aid, but Tsurugi held him back.
”Well, wait a bit. This is the true test now…”
Tsurugi let out a wicked smile.
Run away, Sasami…
It seemed that I had found what I was looking for, but I had no idea how to buy it.
There were a bunch of boxes piled up next to the case, but those were filled with cheap things only.
If you wanted to buy the expensive stuff that was locked in the gla.s.s case, you probably had to call a shop employee over and tell him what you wanted.
For someone like me who was pretty bad at communication, this was a difficult mission indeed.
I could’ve probably handled it if this was a normal item, but this was an erotic figure we were talking about.
I seemed to make up my mind and headed for the register, but it didn’t seem like I could bring myself to say anything to the employee. I just pa.s.sed silently by the register and then went back to the gla.s.s case.
I repeated the same motions a couple of times.
It was like I was a bear in a zoo.
The shop keeper watched me act suspiciously. He might’ve thought I was a shoplifter, because he was staring at me really sternly.
That just made me cower even more and made it even more difficult for me to call out to him.
Shopping was hard.
Ahh, even for me, this was pretty painful to watch.
The me on screen wandered around, but then seemed to get tired and slow down, before coming to a complete stop.
I was looking at… a wild wilderness of perversion that was spread out right in front of my eyes.
The adults-only area.
”……”
I was staring fiercely at that area.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in that kind of stuff.
I probably had no idea that my brother and Tsurugi were right next to me (well, of course I didn’t), so perhaps out of pure curiosity, the me on screen began to nervously wander into the adult area.
Kyah?!?!
Noo!!!
”Ufufufu! She went in, she went in! Welcome to my world! If you wish, half that world is yours!” (3)
Tsurugi began to yell random incomprehensible things, sounding a bit like the last boss of a video game.
”Let’s chase her, Tsukuyomi! If we get enough material here I can make fun of her for half a yea-… umm, I mean, it’s a teacher’s job to learn the habits of her students! So, I am bound by that teacher’s code, and I’m also her guardian, so… am I right?!”
”That was what you were after all along, wasn’t it…? Well, Sasami-san is also at an age where she’s curious about a lot of things, so she really might be lured into that area of perversion if it’s dangled in front of her face like a carrot. She’s probably also a bit more daring since she’s wearing a disguise.”
Not aware that I was being followed by two awful adults, I began to look all around me in the adult section.
I’m sure I looked really suspicious, but everyone in that section was too engrossed in their browsing that they didn’t have enough time to pay attention to me. So I was fine.
”Waah… uwaah…”
The me on screen sounded pretty impressed… ugh, this was embarra.s.sing.
Just stop. Stop this awful sadom.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.tic scene, dammit…
”L-Little sister… moe…?”
There were a few adult manga over in that section that customers could pick up and flip through.
Perhaps I was pulled by the t.i.tle of one book, but I picked up a manga t.i.tled “Lovey dovey~~ Love Chuu Oniichan” and gazed at the cover.
All the books around there were similar… t.i.tles like “I love my oniichan no matter what!” and “B-But we’re brother and sister…” and “This is forbidden, but I can’t help myself… *thump thump*.” It was all stuff like that.
”Eh? That… this… she’s his little sister, right?”
I watched as I gulped and began to engross myself in the manga.
”B-But, this… why is… ah, I guess that happens. But… ehh? This is… what is she doing? That’s a guy’s… ehh?!?!”
Oh my G.o.d, listening to myself like this was so annoying.
–
”Umm… do you have a minute…?”
–
Suddenly, a guy wearing an ap.r.o.n with the Uzumenoana log on it – in other words, an employee – tapped me on the shoulder. With a smile.
”Hyaah?!?!”
I panicked and looked up, opening my mouth and shutting it without a word. I looked like I was about to die.
”U-Umm, umm…. I-I was…”
The employee still had that bright smile on his face, and grabbed my arm firmly.
”You’re… a high school student, aren’t you?”
”U-Umm, n-no. I’m not. Umm… I’m-“
I was speaking umum-nese, but unfortunately j.a.panese people didn’t speak that language.
”Could it be that you came for the seiyuu (4) show on the fourth floor? Well, you can follow me then! I do apologize, the stairs are hard to find sometimes. The stairs up to the fourth floor are in a bit of a weird place… they’re just over here~~.”
The employee was going on and on about something while pulling me with him.
Considering I had just been caught reading an adult manga, I probably didn’t have the courage to correct the employee’s misunderstanding. All I could do was mutter ”Eh? Ah, yeah. That… seiyuu show… that’s what I wanted.”
Like that, both the shop employee and I fell out of camera range.
”Ahh, Sasami-san was taken by an employee?! Let’s chase them, Tsurugi-sensei!”
My brother began to panic and chase after me, but right next to him…
”Shut up! You idiot! I told you I’m not an elementary schooler!”
At some point, Tsurugi had managed to load her arms full of p.o.r.n manga and doujins.h.i.+, and was now having a verbal sparring match with the person behind the cash register.
My brother did a spit take.
”Just sell the d.a.m.n things to me. I have the money, so why does it matter?!”
”But, ojou-chan (5). These books are only for adults, okay?”
”I’m an adult, I’m telling you! Can’t you tell?! Look, I even have a d.a.m.n driver’s license! Just look at this! It’s a teaching license! So back off!”
”Yes yes, ojou-chan. But forging these licenses and official doc.u.ments is very, very bad, okay? It’s a serious crime.”
”They’re not forgeries! They’re completely real! Why aren’t you believing me even after I showed you my licenses?! I’m a d.a.m.n adult!”
”Yes yes. Please come back when you’re an adult, ‘kay?”
”……”
My brother seemed to decide that he would be here for a while if he stayed and watched this pointless war drag on, so he left Tsurugi there and quickly chased after me.
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES
(1) May be a reference to Toranoana, a very large comics/doujins chain store in j.a.pan.
(2) Not sure if I really need to footnote this, but doujins.h.i.+ are books drawn by fans and sold at doujins.h.i.+ events like Comic Market.
(3) A reference to what the Dragon King says in Dragon Quest.
(4) Voice actor/actress. For cultural reasons I refuse to translate this word to “voice actor.”
(5) Honorific which basically translates to “little princess.”
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