Part 18 (1/2)
”Yes.” Where to begin? ”This will sound strange, but it's like she's a pain eradicator.”
”I don't think I've ever heard that one before.”
”She senses when I'm hurting and tries to make it better. I swear I can feel it being drawn out of me, but it doesn't seem to weigh her down.” Alex paused, uncomfortable to be speaking so candidly about feelings she still didn't fully understand herself. ”I don't even think she knows she's doing it. Sounds stupid, huh?”
”Not at all,” Tammy rea.s.sured her. ”It's sort of like my job.
Learning to feel and respect the pain of others, but not being crippled by it. Otherwise, I couldn't function.”
”But Keri-that's her name-has never had that kind of training,”
Alex said.
”So, she learned the hard way. She lived through pain and survived.”
”I've got no right to dump my garbage on her. She deserves better than a battle-scarred lesbo like me.”
”Oh, Alex, don't,” Tammy said impatiently. ”You're one of the best, most kindhearted people I know. You're just afraid of being hurt again and that's normal.”
Alex heaved a heavy sigh. ”Then there's the work thing. I can't get involved with somebody on the job, especially not a subordinate.”
”That's the least of your worries, love,” Tammy continued. ”Work situations change all the time. You could nd other interests. This woman could decide the force isn't for her and move on. Don't let your job stand in the way of a chance for happiness.”
Alex thought of her parents' business and her father's wish for her future. ”Maybe you're right.”
”I think you should let yourself be open to possibility. That's all.” Tammy gave Alex's hand a loving pat and said, ”Come on, let's relax.”
She led Alex from the kitchen to the rocking chairs on the covered porch overlooking the lake. For the next hour or so they talked, laughed, drank, and caught up on current events and relived old memories.
Warmth from her surroundings coupled with the stimulation of two vodka tonics tamed Alex's stress and loosened the worries of work.
* 160 *
”You and Beth are so lucky,” she mused, looking out toward the water. ”I mean to nd each other. A relations.h.i.+p like yours is rare. You complement the good and 'needs improvement' areas of each other's lives beautifully.”
”Yeah, we've been together years and I still love her so much.
Sometimes it feels like I've been drugged.”
Alex caught a sharp breath at the offhand remark. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought about Keri's tests for at least an hour. She was so relaxed and comfortable that work seemed a lifetime away.
She took out her cell phone but Tammy immediately announced her objections.
”Put that away. If there's bad news at work, you'll hear soon enough.”
”I guess so. Maybe I'll take a sunset dip. I love this time of day.”
Alex moved to the deck railing and gazed out at the lake, not really seeing the beauty in front of her. Tammy was right. All too often she pretended to take time off and ended up working. In the end, her body, mind, and spirit had suffered. This time she wanted it to be different.
There was too much at stake. She had important things to think about and she wanted to give herself the mental s.p.a.ce to do so.
The walkway to the dock virtually sprouted blooming black-eyed Susans and petunias. A woman would have to be a nurturer to spend so much time on landscaping at a vacation home, but that described Tammy perfectly. Her deep concern for everything living transcended her role as a therapist. Maybe a therapist was exactly what Alex needed to sort out the jumble of emotions that battled inside her. She wasn't having much luck by herself.
v Ten minutes later Tammy heard the crunching-gravel approach of her partner's car and then Beth hurried toward the house. A second woman emerged from the pa.s.senger side.
”Honestly, honey,” Tammy greeted Beth at the door. ”I still think you should've told them both. Alex is going to kill you for playing matchmaker.”
”I know, but some things are just worth the risk.” Beth grinned sheepishly.
* 161 *
”Get down to the dock and tell Alex so she's not completely blindsided.”
”I will as soon as I introduce you to Keri,” Beth grabbed Tammy in a bear hug and nibbled playfully on her ear.
”Don't think for one second you're fooling me, Beth Price.”
Tammy's lips met Beth's and parted when she needed to breathe. ”I love you.”
The l.u.s.ty look in her eyes told Beth it was as true then as it had been the first time they kissed. ”I love you too, babe.” She opened the door wide and urged Keri, ”Come on in. This is Tammy, my partner.”
”It's so good to meet you, Keri. Beth has told me a lot about you.”
Keri seemed surprised, but she returned Tammy's enthusiastic hug and said, ”Thanks for the invitation. I was so excited when Beth asked me to come up. I need a break.”
”You're so welcome. Sit, please.” Tammy motioned to the bar.
”Can I get you a drink?”
”A beer would be perfect.” Keri thought about her last beer and almost reconsidered.
Tammy handed her a bottle of Michelob, then pulled steaks and chicken from the refrigerator. ”How are your folks doing?” she asked as she worked. ”Beth tells me you live at home to help them out.”
”The doctors say my dad can live to a ripe old age if he does as he's told, but he can be stubborn. He doesn't understand about heart problems. My mom is slowly deteriorating. Alzheimer's. It's sad to watch. One day she seems like her old self and the next she's gone.”
”It's a terribly dif cult disease for the patient and the family.
I'm so sorry.” Tammy asked, ”What's this I hear about you getting drugged?”
Keri's beer stopped halfway to her lips. ”I still don't know what really happened with the target. Beth gave me the sanitized version.”
Keri's hesitation and sad blue eyes hinted at wounds old and new.
”The operation went well,” Beth said. ”And you're doing a great job. Now if you'll both excuse me, I need to take care of a few things.”
She dropped a kiss on Tammy's cheek and vanished up the stairs.