Part 9 (2/2)

'And I'll go and have a word with the loc.u.m.'

'Right!' May gave him a very nice smile. 'That is better!'

'I'll email Dean and give him a pile of work.' He gave a shrug. 'I'll ring Admin now and tell them I've just done a telephone interview with Lorna. I know it's been hard on the nursing staff...'

'We'll get there.' May smiled. 'Okay, I'll give the girls the news and then I'm off.'

'It's only midday.'

'Ah, but I'm on the old contract.' May smiled. 'And I'm glad that I dug my heels in-I still get my half-days!'

That took him to midday, but all he wanted to do was go home, all he wanted to do was remember. He had no qualms about Pauline cleaning up behind him, he'd long since stopped feeling embarra.s.sed when he'd come home to find a neat little pile of earrings and bras that she'd retrieved during her working day. He no longer noticed the way her mouth disappeared into itself when a pretty new face tumbled into the kitchen as she was unloading the dishwasher.

He wanted his room as Lorna had left it-wanted the scent of her in the bedroom and a couple of long auburn hairs on his bathroom floor for just a little while longer-then he'd deal with getting over her. he'd deal with getting over her.

Again.

Chapter Fifteen

'HIS tax return?' May lowered the elevation on her treadmill so she was walking on flat ground at two miles an hour. 'He's doing his tax return at this time of the year?' tax return?' May lowered the elevation on her treadmill so she was walking on flat ground at two miles an hour. 'He's doing his tax return at this time of the year?'

'He's got papers everywhere,' Pauline huffed, still climbing up that hill, 'apparently.'

'Apparently?'

'I'm not to open the door in case it disturbs his receipts.'

They stopped talking for a minute, first to get their breath back and second, to ponder the lovely young man who was working on his pectorals.

'I did pop in to say goodbye to Lorna,' Pauline added fifteen minutes later as they rewarded their workout with croissants and cappuccinos. 'It would have been so lovely to see her before she went, but I didn't have the heart to disturb them, they were up in his bedroom.'

'In his bedroom, you say?'

'She was crying.' Pauline said, discreetly not not mentioning the underwear strewn banister that had greeted her along with the thuds from the bedroom. 'Up in her room, well, his room, but she's used it since she was there. It has a bathroom, you see.' mentioning the underwear strewn banister that had greeted her along with the thuds from the bedroom. 'Up in her room, well, his room, but she's used it since she was there. It has a bathroom, you see.'

'Well, that makes sense.' May nodded. 'She was crying, you say?'

'Sobbing actually,' Pauline confirmed, pursing her lips and catching May's eyes. 'It would break the coldest heart to hear it-it's good that he was there.' She took a bite of her croissant. 'To comfort her, of course.'

'Poor pet,' May tutted, then rallied. 'Did I mention she was coming back?'

Chapter Sixteen

SHE was just a colleague. was just a colleague.

Over and over he told himself that as he skimmed through her resume.

She was also his ex-wife, James consoled himself as he read it more closely, as every detail was imprinted for ever on his mind.

It was natural to be curious.

Natural to notice that she'd now become an organ donor and that her hobbies were listed as swimming, tennis and triathalon.

Liar, liar, liar James had wanted to respond to her, but he fired it over to Admin and sent a quick email to her headed 'Reading, reading, reading', which he knew she'd understand. That was the only hobby he'd ever seen her indulging in! Then he sat back, watching as his past developed into the present.

The security check cleared, and then in came her new London address, which meant that she was already here in London. Then her certificate check came through too.

It was a slow process and one he was entirely used to. Then the thick envelope arrived-the one he couldn't open-with her medical details that were sealed and had to go straight to Admin. It contained her past medical history. It infuriated him that the ectopic pregnancy would be in her notes but not in his. It had hurt him just as much, but apparently it didn't count.

Oh, but it did.

He'd told told her to sign the consent form. In bitter truthfulness with himself, James admitted that in the end he'd been impatient with her. He'd had to be firm with her. The registrar had taken him aside and told him there was no way the baby could survive and if they delayed and the pregnancy ruptured, yes, they were in a big hospital and they would be onto it straight away, but there would be serious risks involved. her to sign the consent form. In bitter truthfulness with himself, James admitted that in the end he'd been impatient with her. He'd had to be firm with her. The registrar had taken him aside and told him there was no way the baby could survive and if they delayed and the pregnancy ruptured, yes, they were in a big hospital and they would be onto it straight away, but there would be serious risks involved.

'Just sign the form, Lorna.' Ten years on he could still recall the expression on her face when he'd pushed her to get on with the inevitable-a mixture of grief, hurt, trust and hate, as her shaky hand had taken the pen from him. They'd wheeled her off to Theatre some five minutes later, and there had been a sense of foreboding inside him as he'd sat in the waiting room, watching the clock.

He'd known they'd lost the baby, but somehow he'd also lost them. them. That dark thought had been confirmed when she'd come to after the operation. She had removed her hand from his and then rolled on her side and faced the curtain. In a particularly cruel twist, the female ward had been under refurbishment, so she had only been a corridor away from Maternity-babies' cries carried at night. That dark thought had been confirmed when she'd come to after the operation. She had removed her hand from his and then rolled on her side and faced the curtain. In a particularly cruel twist, the female ward had been under refurbishment, so she had only been a corridor away from Maternity-babies' cries carried at night.

'Lorna, talk to me.' Over and over he said it, hoping things would improve once they got home, except they didn't. It felt like two strangers waking up after a wild party to find they had nothing in common except for the mess and the misery they had both created.

There were were certain privileges to being a doctor, however. certain privileges to being a doctor, however.

If you could call them that.

James was able to call up the results from that little jar neatly labelled 'POC' that had headed off to the lab. He could still remember crawling into bed and holding Lorna's taut, skinny body, trying to imbue some warmth into her, desperate to hold her, to scoop her into his arms and cry with her.

Except Lorna was in a different place.

A dark, lonely place where she did not want him beside her.

But he was lonely too-holding that knowledge inside him, getting up to go to the loo at two a.m. and wanting to kick the door.

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