Part 18 (2/2)

X watched me, only curiosity on his face. ”What did you do?”

I gave a cold smile at the memory. ”The thing was, he was the kind of guy who thought everyone wanted him. I bet he believed Nicole secretly wanted him, even while she was telling him no and fighting him off. So, I did what I could, and used my femininity to lure him somewhere I knew no one else would be. I think he thought I was a bit too tough for him at first, but I flashed my naked a.s.s at him, no panties under my skirt, and that soon got him moving. It was like luring a f.u.c.king dog with its tongue hanging out. I took him down a back alley on the outskirts of town, and as soon as I was sure no one else was around, I shot him in the face. It was brutal, and made one h.e.l.l of a mess, but I'd been careful to wear gloves, and I burned the clothes I'd been wearing afterward.

”No one ever suspected me. Why would they? Other than a bit of gossip around Nicole's school, I had no motive. No one else knew about the rape except Nickie and me. She knew what I'd done. I could see it in her eyes when we heard about his death, the way she looked at me, as though asking me the question without wanting to hear the answer out loud. We never spoke about it, and I haven't regretted killing him for a single second.”

”And other than your mother, he was the only other person you've killed?”

I nodded. ”My mom was different, though. I'd never wanted that to happen. I'd never wanted for Nicole to be raped and for me to have to kill the guy who did it either, but I'd taken some satisfaction in the act. It was different with my mom, and I don't think I'll ever get over it.”

”That's completely understandable, you know.”

”Sometimes,” I admitted, ”there are days where I will sit for hours and stare at my own hands, seeing in my mind the awful act they committed, over and over again. I imagine getting a knife and pressing it into my wrist, and cutting and cutting, not because I want to slice my wrists, but because I just can't stand the thought of my hands being attached to me anymore.”

”You wouldn't do that to yourself, would you?”

I shook my head and glanced down, embarra.s.sed and ashamed of what I had admitted. ”I'm not insane.” I gave a small laugh. ”Well, not on that front, anyway.”

”I can't stand the thought of you wanting to hurt yourself, Vee.”

”I can't stand the thought of ever being in a position where I would have forgiven myself enough not to want to.”

His voice softened. ”Why don't you want to forgive yourself?”

”Because I don't think I'm worth forgiving.”

Chapter Twenty-six.

X.

Did it make me a total narcissist if the reason I thought I was falling for Vee was because the more I got to know her, the more I felt like she was a female version of me?

Maybe it did, but I didn't care.

She didn't judge. She knew me, even though we'd only met a couple of days ago, and that hadn't exactly been in the best of circ.u.mstances. I understood her, and I thought she might understand me, too.

I had never believed in soul mates until I met her.

But now I was starting to wonder.

Her story didn't frighten me, and my own tale of my childhood hadn't changed the way she looked at me. My scars didn't repulse her. Instead, she seemed almost curious about them, running her hands over my skin, tracing the lines with her fingertips.

I reached up and caught her narrow wrists in my fists to stop her, not because I wanted her to stop touching me, but because I figured it was my turn. She'd convinced me out of my clothing, now I wanted her out of hers.

”Enough talking,” I said, and she nodded in agreement.

My b.a.l.l.s still throbbed with a low ache from the b.l.o.w.j.o.b she'd given me, and all I could think about now was spreading her thighs and sinking my d.i.c.k into the molten heat between them.

I dragged her t-s.h.i.+rt over her head, and then quickly worked on her jeans. She reached for my pants, so we undressed each other in a sudden flurry of hands and frantic kisses.

Together, we fell to the bed.

Naked.

I'd never been naked with another person. All these years, I'd managed to get away with f.u.c.king a woman while keeping my s.h.i.+rt on, had never gotten close enough to one to have her request anything more of me. If they'd tried to undress me, I'd simply flipped them over and taken them from behind, or tied their hands to a bedpost to remove the temptation of trying to touch me. Now I didn't need to do that with Vee, and as we lay together, face to face, I marveled at the sensation of Vee's soft skin against mine. The feel of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s against my chest was like heaven, our stomachs pressing together, the hard length of my erection caught between us. She'd woken something in me-emotions I hadn't believed I was capable of. And strangely, I didn't want to run. Quite the opposite. I wanted to hold her closer and explore this new territory of myself, like a lizard peeling off a layer of skin, or a bird cracking open the sh.e.l.l it had grown inside to finally enter the real world.

I kissed her lips, my tongue pus.h.i.+ng past hers and exploring every inch of her mouth. I wanted to know her, every single inch of her, and with the hunger she kissed me back with, I thought she felt the same way.

Perhaps I was being selfish, but all I wanted was to feel her tight p.u.s.s.y wrapped around my d.i.c.k. I was desperate for her, the b.l.o.w.j.o.b she'd given me had taken me to the edge and, even with all the talking, I hadn't found my way down from that high yet. Her legs wrapped around the backs of my thighs and her hips ground against me, letting me know she wanted me, too. It took only the slightest s.h.i.+ft in my position and my c.o.c.k pressed against the soft wetness of her p.u.s.s.y. She moaned against my mouth and squirmed against me, just as I thrust my hips to meet her. My c.o.c.k breached her p.u.s.s.y, and my mind swam with the pure perfection of how she felt, and then I gave a groan and thrust deep. Vee gasped and clung tighter to me, and we began to move together, slow and deep at first, but our movements growing more frantic, until I shoved her to her back and settled myself between her thighs. I grabbed her hands and held them over her head, hard against the mattress. The position had brought me onto my knees, and her feet traveled higher, until they hooked over my shoulders. She was so exposed to me in this position, so I could look down and see my c.o.c.k, thick and rigid, pumping in and out of her hole. Her c.l.i.t stood, red and engorged right above her slit, as if begging to be touched. It was the s.e.xiest thing I'd ever seen.

I let go of her wrists with one of my hands and reached to touch her there. The result was instantaneous, and she arched her back, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s on full display, and gave a cry. Her inner muscles tightened around me and I knew I was close.

”Oh, G.o.d, X. Yes ... more, more.”

In the haze of my almost coming, I made a mental note to tell her my full name. For the first time, I wanted to hear my name on a woman's lips.

She bucked at me again, and I felt myself swell inside her, and then the surge as my o.r.g.a.s.m took over.

I came inside her, like every synapse in my body was focused on that single sensation of release and euphoria. I was both helpless and in total control, giving every part of who I was to this woman. I'd never experienced it before, the feeling of an emotional connection while I came inside a woman. The vulnerability of giving myself to another person.

My mind was a haze for a moment after the final spurts of c.u.m erupted inside her, and then everything cleared. We held each other and kissed again, smiling down at one another. I touched my nose to hers, forehead to forehead, as we breathed each other in.

People always said you knew when you'd found the one.

And, right at that moment, I knew.

Chapter Twenty-seven.

V.

I woke the next morning with dread heavy on my heart. The time had come to go and see my father, and the thought made me sick. I had no choice, though. It was my only chance of finding out where Nickie might be being held. I hadn't heard anything else from Tony since his last call. Did he hope I'd follow him to New York and ask the wrong questions of the wrong people, and would turn up dead somewhere? I struggled to imagine that he would simply forget about me.

We went to meet X's contact, who gave us the paperwork I needed to be able to visit my father. I dressed conservatively, keeping my tattoos hidden beneath a jacket, my long hair tied back into a bun at the nape of my neck. We bought what we needed using the cash I'd brought with me, not wanting X to use the card he had more than necessary in case someone used it to track him down.

X's contact didn't even speak to us. He just handed X an envelope, and X gave him cash in return. We received a nod, and a quick flick of his eyes across us, and then he turned and walked away, disappearing down an alley.

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