Part 16 (1/2)

”Steady isn't the problem just now,” Kel told Peachblossom. ”Clean is the problem.”

Raoul waited for her at the end of the field. ”I haven't seen you do that in a while,” he remarked cheerfully.

”I thought I was getting better,” she grumbled. She hated to lose.

Raoul grinned. ”The day you can best Wyldon is the day they put up a statue to you in front of the palace. He's strong, he's fast, he's got powerful horses, and he always knows exactly where to hit,” he said. ”The last fall I got from any man was from him, ten years ago.”

”You've beaten him since?” Kel asked, thinking he might share his secret.

”Mithros, no - I just don't joust with him anymore. I have my pride,” Raoul said.

thirteen.

THE IRON DOOR.

Three days before Midwinter's start, the progress returned to the palace. Prince Roald was scheduled to take his Ordeal over the holiday; his parents wanted to be on hand.

Kel visited the Chapel of the Ordeal as soon as she'd unpacked Raoul's gear. No one had entered it to clean for the Midwinter rites yet. A film of dust lay everywhere.

She went directly to the door, determined to do this and get it over with. She had no idea what drove her to keep testing herself against the Chamber, only that she had to do it.

Gingerly she brushed a finger over the cold, dark surface. No dust, she realized. Dust probably doesn't have the nerve to settle here. She wiped her hands on her breeches, bracing herself to put her hands on the iron.

It was a tilting accident, or rather, a joust she had lost, that had crippled her for good. She remembered that loss often as she struggled to learn to walk with a crutch. Her shoulder, broken in the same joust, healed sloppily.

She never got a satisfactory answer as to how a novice healer who specialized in childbirth would be the only one available for a squire who'd taken lances in a shoulder and a hip. Now Kel lived with a shoulder that was so much lumpy meat, and a leg that was too weak to take her weight.

She was limping down a village street with a basket on her back when she heard shouting. Men, armed and mounted on horses, galloped down the street, coming straight at her. One leaned down, longsword in hand. ”We don't need no cripples, dearie!” he cried as she fought to shed the basket. Her bad leg collapsed; she toppled as the man's sword bit deep into her good shoulder. She lay on her side in the dust, blood pooling under her, unable to move or close her eyes.

Armed men killed two small children, then grabbed their mother and a teenaged girl and slung them over their saddles. A local man came out waving a rusted old broadaxe. He was shot through the throat by a raider bowman. The temple was on fire: she heard the screams of those trapped inside. No matter how hard she struggled, she couldn't get up. She couldn't put a stop to it. She was helpless and dying in some dusty street.

When the door freed her, she raced outside the chapel. She reached a small, snow-covered garden just in time, and threw up till she had nothing more in her belly.

Lies, she told herself grimly. All lies, to make me lose my nerve. And I won't. I won't ever lose my nerve.

Kel scrubbed her face with snow, ate a handful to clean her mouth, and shoved more over her mess.

Then slowly, holding her shoulder and limping, she walked to her rooms.

Cleon's was the first name drawn of the squires who faced the Ordeal. He would take the ritual bath at sunset on the first night of Midwinter, with two knights there to instruct him in the laws of chivalry. Next would come his solitary vigil in the chapel throughout the night with only his thoughts for company. At dawn he would enter the Chamber. Though he didn't mention Cleon, Raoul gave Kel the first day of the holiday to herself.

That morning she put on a pale pink s.h.i.+ft, pink wool stockings, and a fine wool gown in a delicate brown Lalasa called ”fawn”. Over her clothes she wore a hooded wine-colored coat with the look of a kimono. Lalasa had a.s.sured her it was the newest fas.h.i.+on. Kel chose dress boots to walk in. Ladies wore wooden pattens outdoors in winter, to lift their feet clear of the slush, but whenever Kel put them on, she turned an ankle. Boots were safer.

Seeing herself in the mirror, Kel thought she'd made herself into the girl she would have been had she not tried for her s.h.i.+eld. The feeling was odd, more good than bad. Maybe I'm the same whatever I wear, she thought. It's just easier to fight in breeches.

She saw Cleon before he saw her. He stood at the foot of King Ja.s.son's statue, where the Palace Way met Gold Street. He missed her as he scanned the crowds coming down from the palace. Kel slid back her hood and smiled when he finally looked at her.

”A dress?” he asked, grinning. Kel opened her coat. ”You look beautiful,” he said, taking her hand.

”It's not me, silly, it's the gown,” Kel told him. ”Lalasa can make anyone look good.”

Cleon pulled her into a nook in the base of the statue and kissed her warmly. ”It if you, silly.” He kissed her again, then held her tight. ”I love tall women. Pearl of squires, have I mentioned how lovely it is not to have to bend in two to kiss you?”

”Only a hundred times,” she replied. They let go of each other reluctantly. Cleon looked to see if anyone they knew was about. Finding no one, he signaled ”all safe.” Kel walked out to join him, covering her hair again.

They had lunch at a quiet eating house, where they could hold hands as they talked. Then they visited Raven Armory to covet the displayed weapons. ”One of those swords would cost Mother a year's income,” Cleon said. ”But I can dream. Maybe I'll do something heroic, and the king will reward me. He does that, with knights who serve the Crown.”

”I know,” Kel replied. ”Conal, Inness, and Anders all got purses for things they did.” As Inness's squire Cleon knew her older brothers.

On they walked through the crowds. If Cleon was nervous about his Ordeal, he said nothing. His grip on her fingers got tighter, the stops in alleys and corners for kisses more frequent, as the afternoon wore on. When a shopkeeper placed lit torches on either side of his door, they knew their day was over. They found one last doorway. Wrapping their arms around each other, they kissed long and hard. Kel felt Cleon's heart beating against his ribs. She clung to him with all her strength as he clung back.

A street boy saw them and chanted obscene rhymes until they separated. Cleon shook his fist at the boy, then drew Kel's hood up.

”Who's instructing you in the bath?” she asked, straightening his stubborn red curls with fingers that shook. ”Inness, and...?”

”It's a very great honor,” Cleon told her, cupping her cheek in one large hand. ”Lord Raoul.”

Kel shook her head. ”He didn't say a word.”

”You know those big fellows - sneaky.” He kissed her softly one more time. ”Midwinter luck, Kel,” he told her with a smile.

She kissed him. ”Midwinter luck, Cleon.”

”Y'goan t'start again?” The street boy was unimpressed by their farewell. Cleon sighed, flipped a coin to the boy for luck, and began the long walk back to the palace.

She lingered briefly to savor the warmth that filled her veins when he kissed her. Then, whistling, she took the street to the Temple District to say Midwinter prayers.

Even the monarchs were tired of entertaining. They chose not to hold large parties this year, though Kel would have liked to have something to do. She settled down to read the night away, but with Jump and the birds asleep, the silence was too big, the time between the Watchmen's calls too long. When Raoul came in after his part in Cleon's vigil was done, he and Kel played chess. Kel nearly had him boxed in when someone knocked.

It was Prince Roald, Princess s.h.i.+nkokami, Inness of Mindelan, Buri, Neal, Yuki, Jerel of Nenan, and Owen. All had cakes, fruit, jugs of cider, and other things to eat and drink. Raoul and Kel welcomed them with relief.

They talked, played games, and traded songs, Tortallan for Yamani and K'miri. The night was well along by the time everyone left. Kel slept without dreaming.

Despite her late bedtime she woke before dawn, as usual. Together with the sparrows and Jump, Kel went to the Chapel of the Ordeal. Cleon was inside the Chamber by the time they arrived. They waited.

Kel bit down a feeling of panic at the sight of the iron door, suddenly afraid it would send her a vision. It can't reach to the back of the room, surely, she told herself as the sparrows huddled in her lap. She covered them with her hands and tried to ignore the Chamber door. Instead her mind presented her with a roll call of those who had failed their Ordeal. Kel squelched that fear, too. Counting the failures since the time her oldest brother became a page, she had less than a handful. Cleon would be fine.

A clank: Kel flinched. Was the door opening? It was. Inness hurried forward to grab Cleon as he tottered into the chapel. Kel bit her lip: Cleon was pale, sweating, and shaky. Inness asked him something - Cleon nodded, and searched the room with his eyes. When he saw Kel, he smiled wearily. He was all right, or as all right as anyone who had survived the Ordeal could be. ”It's a hammer,” her brother Anders had described it. Cleon looked pounded.

Kel smiled back. As others crowded around him, she stayed where she was. Her knees had gone all quivery. Too little sleep, she told herself, though she knew it was relief.

For the second night of Midwinter, Raoul decided he liked parties the size of the one they'd had the night before. At his request palace servants filled a table with food and drink. Invitations went to people throughout the palace, including Third Company. Most of the men stopped in to say h.e.l.lo. Flyn, Lerant, Qasim, and the squad leaders, including Dom, stayed. When Dom saw Kel, he smiled at her. Her stomach did flip-flops. The old worry stirred: was she hopelessly fickle? She liked Cleon, but she still melted like b.u.t.ter when Dom looked her way.

Cleon was knighted at sunset. Kel thought she would burst with pride in him. That pride filled her again when he walked into Raoul's chambers. Most of her feelings about Dom evaporated.

Everyone who had been there the night before returned, including Buri. She and Raoul talked frequently, leaning against the wall side by side. Kel had to smile, looking at them: Buri stood only as high as Raoul's shoulder. They made a comical pair.