Part 40 (1/2)
Adam, I thought, inwardly furious. ”Well then,” I told Penny, ”I'm the one who should apologize to you.”
”What happened inside?” Penny asked, eager to change the subject. ”Did you find out what you needed to?”
”Not enough,” I said. ”I'm going to have to go back in -- don't worry, not right away. Later. And next time, I won't ask you to body-sit.”
”No, it's all right,” Penny said. ”Just. . . maybe next time, we can unplug the TV.”
The smell of vodka in the Centurion reminded me of something; I cupped a hand over my mouth and sniffed my own breath to see whether I'd been drinking. My breath smelled like. . . milk.
”Moo juice,” I said.
”What?” said Penny.
”Nothing,” I said. Then: ”Do you ever get used to it? Waking up in weird situations, not knowing what the heck is going on?”
”I don't know,” said Penny. ”I mean, that's normal for me. I never had to get used to it.”
I looked over at her. ”You know I really am sorry, Penny.”
”For what?”
”When Julie first suggested I help you. . . when you asked me for help. . . I almost said no. I tried to say no.”
”That's all right. I tried to say no too, remember? Anyway, you did say yes.”
”Yes, but. . .” But only because Julie wanted me to; I guessed I could be honest with myself about that now. ”I'm sorry I didn't say yes sooner.”
We were back in the motel parking lot now. We didn't go into the room right away, but stayed sitting in the car, too tired to move. Actually, I think Penny was more than just tired; her breath didn't smell like milk.
”So are we going back home now?” Penny said. She was asking out of curiosity, but I heard it as something more than that.
”You should go back, definitely,” I told her, trying to sound encouraging.
”No.” Penny shook her head. ”It's not that I'm in a hurry to go back, I just wanted to know. If you still want to go on to Michigan, to see. . . to find out. . .”
To see what had happened to the stepfather. To find out whether Xavier Reyes had exterminated him.
”. . . or maybe somewhere else,” Penny continued. ”If that's what you want to do, I don't mind taking you.”
”I think,” I said, rubbing my eyes, ”I think I want to take a hot shower. And then maybe get some food, and try calling Mrs. Winslow again. And then, then I'll decide. . . is that OK?”
Penny nodded. ”I think I'll wait out here while you take your shower, though,” she said.
”Sure.” I smiled. ”I'll take care of the TV, too, while I'm in there.”
The door to the motel room was unlocked, and inside the television was still on, still tuned to the s.e.x channel. ”Adam,” I said, exasperated. I didn't actually unplug the TV, but I did turn it off, and I also hid the remote control. Then I got undressed and went into the shower. I stood under the hot spray a long time, barely moving.
I found myself thinking about Billy Milligan.
Probably you've at least heard his name; though not quite as famous as Sybil or Eve White, he's one of the better-known MPD cases. Billy Milligan was a small-time drug dealer and thief who was arrested in 1977 for the kidnapping, robbery, and rape of three women. He pled not guilty by reason of insanity, claiming that the crimes had been committed by other souls over whom he, Billy, had no control.
After four different psychiatrists -- including Cornelia Wilbur, Sybil's doctor -- testified on his behalf, the court accepted the insanity defense.
He spent the next thirteen years in a succession of state mental hospitals. In 1991 he was p.r.o.nounced ”cured” and released. Then in 1996 he was arrested again, this time for allegedly threatening a judge. That story made the news in Seattle, and piqued Julie's curiosity. She wound up borrowing my father's copy of The Minds of Bitty Milligan.
”Wow,” Julie said, a few days later. ”This is a really fascinating case.”
”I suppose,” I replied, without much enthusiasm.
”What?” said Julie. ”You're not impressed?”
”Impressed? That's a funny word to use. He raped three people, Julie.”
”Well, yes and no.”
”Mostly yes -- especially from the point of view of the women who got raped.”
”You think he faked being multiple?”
”No,” I said. ”I mean it's hard to know for sure just from reading a book, but I believe he probably was -- is -- a multiple personality. The court thought so. But he was also a rapist.”
”Only part of him, though. Billy Milligan -- the soul called Billy -- was innocent.”
”Well just because he's innocent doesn't mean he's not responsible,” I said. I quoted my father: ”When you're in charge of a household, you're accountable for the actions of every soul in that household, even if they do things you would never do yourself.”
”But at the time the rapes took place,” Julie argued, ”Billy Milligan wasn't in charge. It sounds like n.o.body was -- his household was in chaos.”
”Which is not very impressive.”
”Jesus, Andrew. I didn't mean -- why are you being so weird about this?”
”I'm not being weird,” I said. ”I just don't think Billy Milligan is a credit to multiples everywhere.
He's like. . . the OJ. Simpson of the MPD community.”
Julie laughed at that. ”Still,” she said, ”it's not like he got off scot-free. And don't you think a hospital was really a better place for him than jail?”
”I think wherever they lock you up, thirteen years isn't enough time for raping somebody. . . or for allowing somebody to be raped.”
Julie looked thoughtful. ”What would you have done?”
”If I was in charge of Billy Milligan's case?”
”No,” Julie said, ”if you were Billy Milligan.”
”Excuse me?”
”Suppose you found out that one of your other souls had. . . well, let's not say raped somebody, something less vile, like bank robbery. . .”
”Bank robbery?”