Part 7 (1/2)

The next day at work, Rudy started treating her differently. Not right away; when Mouse first came into the shop he said good morning the same as he always did. But after she came back from lunch (she didn't remember going out), Rudy seemed tense, and that evening he didn't reply when she wished him good night.

That was Tuesday; and every day after that, Rudy's mood seemed to get worse. On Wednesday morning he yelled at her for the first time ever, complaining that the workroom was ”a complete mess”

and that ”I'll never be able to find anything back here, the way you've let it go.”

”What are you looking for?” asked Mouse, alarmed. ”I'll help you find it.” But this offer of a.s.sistance only seemed to anger Rudy further; he told her to have the workroom straightened out by closing time Friday and stalked out.

On Friday, the moment she'd been dreading for eight months finally arrived. It happened as Mouse was preparing to leave. As ordered, she'd straightened up the workroom; she'd also finished the last two pending repair jobs. ”All done,” she announced, coming out front shortly before six.

Rudy, who sat reading a copy of The Drifters with a sullen expression on his face, wouldn't acknowledge her.

”OK, then,” Mouse said. ”If there's nothing else you need me to do today. . .”

No response.

”OK,” Mouse said. ”I'll be going, then. I'll see you on Monday, Rudy.”

Her hand was on the door when Rudy said: ”No you won't.”

Mouse turned around. Rudy was glaring at her over the top of his book. ”I won't?” Mouse said.

”No,” said Rudy. ”Don't you remember?” He snorted. ”h.e.l.l, maybe you don't. Maybe the 'numbing boredom' of working for me numbed your memory, too.” He set down his book and took a deep breath. ”I've got something to say to you before you go. If you don't like your job, whatever the reason, that's fine -- I don't want anybody working here against their will. But you've got no right to s.h.i.+t on me personally. Maybe this place is just 'a hole in the wall,' but I've got pride in it just the same -- I worked for it, I built it up, I kept it going for years without any help from anybody, and you've got no right to s.h.i.+t on that. It may not be much, but it's more than you've got, as far as I can tell. . .”

Mouse felt her lower lip quivering. She wanted to cry; she wanted to beg Rudy's forgiveness for whatever she'd done. But she was terrified that if she did either of those things, made any sound or interrupted Rudy in any way, he'd come out from behind the counter and start hitting her. So she stayed mute and still by the door, while Rudy continued to berate her. He went on for a long time.

”. . . so that's it,” he concluded, when his rage was finally spent. By this point his eyes were rimmed with red, as if he too were on the verge of crying. ”That's all I've got to say to you. Now get the h.e.l.l out of my shop.”

”Rudy. . .” Mouse tried to say, but the word came out as a meaningless twitter. Then Rudy stood up, shoving his stool back with a loud screech, and Mouse bolted.

She ran from the Quick Fix so swiftly that she was all the way to her car before the tears started.

She slid into the driver's seat, slapped down the door locks, and then hunched over the steering wheel blubbering for almost twenty minutes. She kept hoping she would lose time, lose this moment, this day, and so find herself beyond it. But time stayed with her, and eventually the crying fit tapered off. She drove home.

A red light blinked in the darkness of her apartment as she let herself in: there was a message on her answering machine. After switching on the living-room lights, Mouse hit the playback b.u.t.ton, and heard Julie Sivik's voice: ”Hey Mouse! It's Friday afternoon, around four, and I'm calling to confirm that we're all set for Monday. . .”

The top of the stand on which the answering machine rested was gla.s.s-inlaid wood; as the message continued -- with Julie expressing concern about how Rudy had ”taken the news” -- Mouse caught sight of her reflection in the gla.s.s. Holding her own gaze, Mouse wondered: What have you done?

But even though she already knew she was crazy, she didn't dare ask that question aloud.

6.

Today's list includes a set of directions for finding the Reality Factory, but even so, and even going there directly without stopping off home, Mouse arrives several minutes late. Distracted by a tailgating semi-truck, she misses the turnoff for Autumn Creek and is forced to backtrack from the next exit; and having found her way into the town, she doesn't recognize the Factory at first. Across 2nd bridge, quarter mile beyond on left side, the directions read, but during a phone conversation over the weekend, Julie Sivik described the Factory as being ”just a little rundown,” so Mouse is not expecting a ruin. She drives right past it, and goes another mile down the road before realizing her mistake.

”Oh G.o.d,” Mouse exclaims as she drives in the Factory gate, having backtracked once more.

The property isn't just rundown; it looks abandoned. But there is an old Cadillac with new bodywork parked on the lot, and Mouse remembers Julie mentioning on the phone that her car was a fixed-up Caddy. So this really must be it: this is where she works now. Mouse parks her Buick just inside the gate, pointed outward, ready for a quick getaway. And even though she is late, she sits for a moment after shutting off the engine, gathering her courage before stepping out.

Enter main building through side door, the directions read. The main building must be the long, low warehouse-like structure at the center of the lot. Mouse walks around it to the left (a mountain of old tires enclosed by a chain-link fence blocks pa.s.sage on the right), turning frequently to check that nothing is creeping towards her out of the thickets of weeds and bushes that encircle the property. At the door she pauses to adjust her sweater; she tugs at both the collar and the hem, making sure it covers the tank top completely.

The wording of the directions implies that she should let herself in, but Mouse knocks anyway.

No one answers. Reluctantly she tries the doork.n.o.b, which turns easily. She opens the door and steps inside.

Oh G.o.d. The building is just a sh.e.l.l, concrete walls and a patchwork roof sheltering a collection of. . . tents?

”This is the place,” a woman's voice calls to her. Mouse squeaks. ”Sorry, sorry,” the voice apologizes, and Mouse sees that it isn't a woman after all: the voice belongs to a boyish-looking man with a tousle of sandy hair. He darts towards her with startling swiftness, and Mouse, frightened, backs up against the door.

Mouse is relieved when Julie Sivik appears. But her relief is short-lived: Julie tells the boyish man to call Mouse by her nickname, and another man -- a fat, ugly man, like a chubby troll -- pops out of a nearby tent shouting ”Hi, Mouse!” He too darts towards her, his speed belying his size, and engulfs her hand in a damp doughy two-fisted grip.

Mouse is overwhelmed. The morning starts to fragment, bits of time dropping out, shuddering the smooth flow of events. ”Let's go try out the system,” Julie says, and they walk towards a big tent at one end of the building: Julie and Mouse, the boyish man, the fat man, and a third man, a skinny glum guy who doesn't talk. Mouse feels as though she ought to know the men's names by now, but she doesn't.

Julie holds open the tent flap for her, elbowing aside the troll, who is attempting to perform the same service. Mouse enters; she has a brief impression of the tent's interior, a musty, mildewy smelling s.p.a.ce filled with all sorts of electronic equipment.

-- and then she is standing in the middle of the tent with the three nameless men staring at her while Julie tries to pull her sweater off -- -- and something heavy is being forced down over her head, covering her eyes -- -- and she is caught up in a hallucination of a giant checkerboard floating in s.p.a.ce. A fluorescent ghost glides towards her over the surface of black and white squares, and the voice of the troll speaks in her ear, commanding her to dance.

Too much. Too much. Mouse disappears. Drone comes, Drone who does what she is told and feels nothing. ”Dance, Mouse,” the troll says, and Drone rocks obediently from side to side. Then the music changes -- Drone is not even aware of the music until it changes, but it changes -- and Loins takes over, recognizing a song she loves. Loins actually enjoys dancing; it was she who went out last night to the Rain Dancers roadhouse, she who met up with George Lamb, the stranger, and agreed to follow him home. She would have f.u.c.ked him, too, but by the time they got to George's trailer, she'd realized it wasn't going to be any fun, so she pushed that ch.o.r.e off on Drone.

Loins dances until the music stops, until the dream-world is switched off and the virtual-reality headset is lifted from her brow. Then she gives way to the Brain, who fixes PCs and writes code. . .

By the time Mouse comes back, the morning is over. She returns to find herself inside another, smaller tent. She sits in a wooden folding chair, while Julie speaks to her from behind a beat-up desk. A digital clock on the desktop informs her that it is now 12:12. Mouse has a headache but is not tired, and the Navigator surmises that it is 12:12 P.M., not A.M.

”-- have a sit-down with Dennis after lunch and hash out exactly what you'll be working on,” Julie is saying. Mouse doesn't really pay attention to the words. Instead, as discreetly as she can, she checks herself: she looks down and sees that she is wearing the sweater, that her tank top is once again covered, if in fact it was ever uncovered. That brief flash she had of Julie trying to strip the sweater off her -- maybe that was a hallucination too, like the floating checkerboard.

But if she did hallucinate, if she had some kind of psychotic episode, what did she actually do while it was happening? Did anybody else notice? Mouse observes Julie for a moment, and decides that the way Julie is talking to her -- calm, relaxed -- is not the way she would talk to someone she had seen acting crazy a little while ago. Still, Mouse thinks, 12:12 -- that's three and a half hours since she got here. What happened?

”-- hungry?” Julie asks.

”What?” says Mouse. Julie smiles indulgently at her. ”I'm sorry,” Mouse says. ”I. . . I drifted off for a second. . .”

”It's all right,” says Julie. ”I asked whether you were hungry. I was thinking, maybe I'll dip into petty cash, round up the guys, and take everybody out to lunch on the company. How's that sound?”

”OK,” Mouse says. What Mouse would really like to do is go home, call up Rudy Krenzel, and plead for her old job back. But that doesn't appear to be an option -- it's not on her list.

Mouse stays close as Julie goes to get the others. By paying careful attention, she is finally able to put names to two of the men. The boyish man is called Andrew; the troll -- whose s.h.i.+rt is hanging wide open when they find him, earning him a sharp rebuke from Julie -- is Dennis. Mouse still can't catch the name of the third man, but he is so quiet that she decides it doesn't matter; you don't need to know what to call someone if they don't talk to you.

They go outside, where Julie expresses concern that they will not all fit comfortably in her car, due to unspecified problems with the backseat cus.h.i.+ons. ”That's OK,” Mouse tells her, not unhappy with this development. ”I can follow you in my car.”

”I volunteer to ride with Mouse!” Dennis shouts, and Mouse cringes. But Julie comes to her rescue: ”No, Dennis,” she says, ”you ride with me. I need to talk to you about something.”

”What, right now? We can talk at the diner.”

”No, Dennis,” repeats Julie. ”Andrew, why don't you ride with Mouse? Make sure she doesn't get lost.”

”Get lost?” Dennis exclaims. ”What the f.u.c.k, Commodore? The diner is on Bridge Street. All she's got to do is turn right out the gate and drive straight.”

”Just get in the d.a.m.n car, Dennis.” Grumbling, Dennis stomps around to the pa.s.senger side of the Cadillac, where the quiet man is already waiting for Julie to unlock the doors. ”You ride in back!” Dennis bellows, shoving the quiet man aside.