Part 54 (1/2)

She nodded, and I went on: 'What's wrong?'

'Oh, don't 'ee ask me, mistress,' she said. 'Please don't 'ee ask me!'

'Perhaps there's something we could do.'

'Ain't nothing you could do, mistress. 'Tis done, more's the pity.'

'What is it, Phoebe?'

'I dursen't say.'

Strangely enough, as I stood there looking at her I was aware of some understanding between us. And I thought: It's a man.

Then I thought of Bastian, and all my bitterness came back to me and a bond between this girl and myself was forged in that moment.

'Of course,' I said, 'your father sees sin where others see ordinary pleasure.'

'This be true sin.'

'What is sin?' I said. 'I suppose if it's hurting other people ... that's sin.' I thought of myself leading Carlotta to her death. That was the blackest sin of all. 'But if no one is hurt ... that isn't sin.'

She wasn't listening to me; she was caught up in her own drama.

I said gently: 'Phoebe, are you ... in trouble?'

She lifted woebegone eyes to my face, but she did not answer and the fear in her face reminded me of Jenny Keys.

'I would help you if I could,' I said rashly.

'Thank you, mistress.' She bent down over the earth and went on weeding.

There was nothing I could say to her. If what I guessed might be true then Phoebe was indeed in trouble. I had seen that in her face which I believe Grandfather Casvellyn had seen in me. Did girls change when they took a lover? Was the loss of virginity apparent in their faces, I wondered, for I was absolutely certain that Phoebe had had a lover and that now she was faced with the consequences.

The consequences. A child! Then I was overwhelmed by the thought that it might have happened to me. 'I will marry you when you are old enough or before if necessary,' Bastian had said.

There had been a certain recklessness in our loving, for we had not to consider the consequences too seriously. I knew that my parents, shocked as they might have been, would have given me love and understanding. So would Aunt Melanie, and Uncle Connell being the man he was would laugh and say Bastian was a chip off the old block.

How different for poor Phoebe Gast. To wear a ribbon, to undo a b.u.t.ton at the neck on a hot day, to wear a belt which might hold in the waist of those shapeless black smocks they wore-that would be sinful. But to have lain in the fields or the woods with a man ...

I went back to the smithy. The mare was waiting for me. Thomas Gast looked more like one of Satan's henchmen than ever and I could not stop thinking of poor Phoebe Gast.

Yesterday I overheard two servants talking. I had come in from the stables and they were dusting in one of the rooms which led out of the hall. They could not see me so I sat down and listened because what they were saying interested me. One of them was Ginny and the other Mab, a girl in her middle teens who had a reputation among the servants as one who was ready for adventure, and had an eye for the men.

As soon as I caught the name Jenny Keys I had to listen.

'She truly were,' Ginny was saying. 'White she was but white can turn to black ... and it could have been that was what happened to her.'

'What did she do, Ginny?'

'Her did lots of good. Why, if I could have gone earlier to her I'd have been spared my shame.'

'But you wouldn't have been without young Jeff for the world.'

'Not now. But then I would.'

'How was Jenny Keys brought out, Ginny?'

'You mean how was it known what she were. I'll tell you something. One day two of the servants from the Priory went down to see her. 'Twas just a love draught they wanted. There was this stable man who wouldn't look at one of them and all she wanted was to turn his eyes to her. And what did they see? Right there in Jenny Keys's lap was a toad ... a horrible slimy toad ... but 'twas no ordinary toad, they did say. There looked out of his eyes something as told them he were the Devil in toad form. They shook with trembling both of them and then they turned on their heels and ran for their lives. 'Twasn't long after that one of them took sick and she swore 'twas some- thing that toad had sent out to her-for he weren't no ordinary toad. He were what they do call her familiar, and that showed Jenny Keys was a witch.'

'How would you know when a toad was a familiar? There's lots of them round the ponds. I've heard 'em croaking at night in the spring when they come out looking for a mate and then they go down to the ponds to lay their eggs.'

'They're just ordinary toads ... they ain't familiars.'

'But toads is nasty things. I suppose it's because they come out at night.'

''Tis so, but don't do to mistake them all. There's some as just goes about their business ... same as any other creature might. 'Tis only when a witch do take one up and to her bed maybe and in him comes the sp.a.w.n of the Devil who lives and shelters in the toad.'

'Like in the toad they saw with Jenny Keys?'

'Maybe so, and when it was known that Jenny Keys harboured a toad and took him to her close like, the trouble started. They said she carried him in her bosom and that he crawled over her body and was familiar like.'

Mab burst into giggles and Ginny reproved her. 'You laugh now but you wouldn't be laughing if witches heard you.'

'Jenny Keys be dead, though.'

'Jenny Keys ain't the only witch, remember.'

'Who else is?'

'You don't have to look far.'

There was an awed silence.

'You mean ... her ... '

'Why not? Her grandmother were. Powers be pa.s.sed down, I reckon.'

'I reckon we ought to keep our eyes open.'

I rose, and went swiftly and silently up the staircase to my room.

Angelet-with that special feeling that was between us-began to sense that I wanted to be alone. She had guessed of course that this was concerned with Bastian, and I had seen her look at Carlotta with something like distaste, for she was very loyal to me.

When we lay in bed at night, it was our custom to talk over the events of the day, and although since I had heard of Bastian's perfidy I had had no wish to talk to her, I could not suddenly break the habit.

She said to me one night after the conversation at the dinner-table had been particularly sparkling and Carlotta with Senara and Gervaise had discussed the Courts of Spain and England at great length-thus making it very difficult for the rest of us to partic.i.p.ate: 'Has it occurred to you, Bersaba, that Sir Gervaise and Carlotta are getting very friendly?'