Part 20 (1/2)
”It is right that you should fear me.”
”I did not say I feared you. I said I thought you capable of killing me. You are hating me now because I have discovered the nature of your business.”
”What have you discovered?”
”That in the tower there are goods salvaged from the sea.”
”And why not?”
”You could tell me why you wish to keep them so secret.”
”Is it not better for me to take them than to let the sea have them?”
”They are cargoes of wrecked vessels. Do they belong to you?”
”Salvage belongs to those who bring it in.”
”Surely sometimes there are survivors. What then?”
”If there were, then the goods would doubtless be theirs, but if there are none we take them from the sea.”
”But why did you not wish me to know?”
”I do not intend to answer your questions. It is you who shall answer mine. Have you spoken of this to your mother?”
”How could I? I have not seen her since I discovered it.”
”Perhaps you were suspicious.”
”I have not spoken to my mother.”
He leaned forward suddenly and gripped my wrist.
”Then you will speak of it to no one. Do you hear me?”
”I hear you perfectly well.”
”What happens in my castle is my affair. Remember that. No one else's.”
I said: ”I never want to wear the ruby locket again.”
He said: ”You will wear it.”
”It belonged to someone ... someone drowned in a s.h.i.+p. Did you take it from her corpse?”
”Be silent, you foolish woman. Be glad that you have a husband who cherishes you enough to bestow gifts on you.”
”I don't want those which have been s.n.a.t.c.hed from the dead.”
He turned away and went to my trinket box. When he came back the chain with the ruby locket was in his hand.
”Put it on,” he said.
”I prefer not to.”
”You will put it on,” he told me.
I refused to take it.
With a savage gesture he fastened it about my neck. I felt it cold against my skin.
I shut my eyes and lay there. I felt helpless to resist him although my whole body cried out for me to do so.
He threw himself down beside me.
He caressed my neck and played idly with the chain.
He said: ”You please me now as ever you did. I have never been so long delighted with a woman. You are fortunate, wife. We have our children and they please me. I want more sons though. We'll have them. And there is something else we'll have. You will do as I say and be happy to. You will say I have no will but his. And whatever he does, still for me it will be right. Say it.”
”Nay,” I said. ”You may put a chain I do not want about my neck, you may do to me what you did on the night you drugged my wine. But you cannot change my feelings. If I do not like what you do, even if I do not say so I still dislike it and nothing will change that.”
He laughed aloud.
”You've got spirit. I grant you that. That's good, for I want to see spirit in my sons. What should it be like if they inherited the mealy-mouthed fear of a silly woman. Nay, you please me.” He had my ear between his teeth suddenly and he bit it savagely. ”But know this,” he went on, ”I will do as I will and you will not spy on me. You will talk of nothing you see here. Is that understood? You will close your eyes if you are squeamish. You will accept what you see here, and you will never whisper a word of it to anyone. Do you understand?”
”I understand what you say.”
”And you understand that you will be expected to obey.”
”And if I do not?”
”Then you would let forth the full force of my wrath and that can be terrible. Remember it.”
Fear came over me then. I felt as though I had been deceiving myself and when he made love to me I knew there was no tenderness; there was only the will to force me to his.
The coldness of the dead woman's trinket seemed to cut into my flesh. I kept seeing the dark beautiful eyes in the miniature. I wondered: Did he see them in reality. Did he take the necklace from her while she still lived?
I began to wish that I had never ventured into Ysella's Tower. I had been more at ease in my ignorance. Yet something told me that if there was evil it was better to be aware of it. Evil! Was I applying that word to my life with my husband?
I knew that life had changed. I was now aware and alert, waiting for something ... I was not sure what.
THE WOMAN FROM THE SEA.
I TRIED NOT TO think too much about what was happening during those nights when Colum and his servants were out on their scavenging expeditions. They almost always took place during nights of storm, and I would lie frozenly in my bed waiting for Colum to come in. I could picture it all so clearly. The s.h.i.+p in distress; the goods floating on the water; the men scrambling aboard the sinking vessel. And what of the survivors? Why were they always so docile? In those days I was guilty of closing my eyes. I realize now that there was so much I did not want to know. I was not exactly in love with Colum, but he was important to me. There was an immense physical satisfaction in our relations.h.i.+p for him and for me as well and that was something which we both wished to preserve. I was fascinated by him, none the less so because he was something of a figure of mystery. He was a strong man and I believe that for some women-such as myself and my mother-power is the essence of physical attraction. When I was with Colum I could not help but be aware of his strength and his power to subdue everything and everyone around him. I found a thrill in standing out against that power and in his knowledge that I did. I enjoyed his efforts to subdue me which were triumphant for him because he could tell himself he had imposed his will on me, but I knew that whatever he did to me or insisted I do I would always preserve a part of my freedom to think as I wished.
Secretly he was aware of this. It baulked him and irked him, while it fascinated him.