Part 107 (1/2)
They must lose--and has the mother of the world no pity?--the free use of nature's overwhelming instincts, they must be denied the strongest desire of life. The sorrowful mother of drowned kittens mourns under the caressing hand that robbed her; the tumbling puppies are gone and their mother finds no comfort, the little hen bird frets over a scattered thread or feather, vainly striving to build a useless nest; the little yellow-feathered lover shrills his heart out for the mate he never sees.
The piercing clamor of bachelorhood enforced makes our nights hideous with voices of sufferers free on roof and fence, or chained in yard and kennel; and even--exquisite outrage! we surgically prepare for their high position the pets we love.
Men, too, have pets, sometimes; men who are invalids, prisoners, dwellers in lonely cabins; but not free human beings, working gladly in a free human world.
WHAT DIANTHA DID
CHAPTER X
UNION HOUSE.
”We are weak!” said the Sticks, and men broke them; ”We are weak!” said the Threads, and were torn; Till new thoughts came and they spoke them; Till the f.a.got and the Rope were born.
For the f.a.got men find is resistant, And they anchor on the Rope's taut length; Even gra.s.shoppers combined, Are a force, the farmers find-- In union there is strength.
Ross Warden endured his grocery business; strove with it, toiled at it, concentrated his scientific mind on alien tasks of financial calculation and practical psychology, but he liked it no better. He had no interest in business, no desire to make money, no skill in salesmans.h.i.+p.
But there were five mouths at home; sweet affectionate feminine mouths no doubt, but requiring food. Also two in the kitchen, wider, and requiring more food. And there were five backs at home to be covered, to use the absurd metaphor--as if all one needed for clothing was a four foot patch. The amount and quality of the covering was an unceasing surprise to Ross, and he did not do justice to the fact that his womenfolk really saved a good deal by doing their own sewing.
In his heart he longed always to be free of the whole hated load of tradesmans.h.i.+p. Continually his thoughts went back to the hope of selling out the business and buying a ranch.
”I could make it keep us, anyhow,” he would plan to himself; ”and I could get at that guinea pig idea. Or maybe hens would do.” He had a theory of his own, or a personal test of his own, rather, which he wished to apply to a well known theory. It would take some years to work it out, and a great many fine pigs, and be of no possible value financially. ”I'll do it sometime,” he always concluded; which was cold comfort.
His real grief at losing the companions.h.i.+p of the girl he loved, was made more bitter by a total lack of sympathy with her aims, even if she achieved them--in which he had no confidence. He had no power to change his course, and tried not to be unpleasant about it, but he had to express his feelings now and then.
”Are you coming back to me?” he wrote. ”How con you bear to give so much pain to everyone who loves you? Is your wonderful salary worth more to you than being here with your mother--with me? How can you say you love me--and ruin both our lives like this? I cannot come to see you--I _would_ not come to see you--calling at the back door! Finding the girl I love in a cap and ap.r.o.n! Can you not see it is wrong, utterly wrong, all this mad escapade of yours? Suppose you do make a thousand dollars a year--I shall never touch your money--you know that.
I cannot even offer you a home, except with my family, and I know how you feel about that; I do not blame you.
”But I am as stubborn as you are, dear girl; I will not live on my wife's money--you will not live in my mother's house--and we are drifting apart. It is not that I care less for you dear, or at all for anyone else, but this is slow death--that's all.”
Mrs. Warden wrote now and then and expatiated on the sufferings of her son, and his failing strength under the unnatural strain, till Diantha grew to dread her letters more than any pain she knew. Fortunately they came seldom.
Her own family was much impressed by the thousand dollars, and found the occupation of housekeeper a long way more tolerable than that of house-maid, a distinction which made Diantha smile rather bitterly.
Even her father wrote to her once, suggesting that if she chose to invest her salary according to his advice he could double it for her in a year, maybe treble it, in Belgian hares.
_”They'd_ double and treble fast enough!” she admitted to herself; but she wrote as pleasant a letter as she could, declining his proposition.
Her mother seemed stronger, and became more sympathetic as the months pa.s.sed. Large affairs always appealed to her more than small ones, and she offered valuable suggestions as to the account keeping of the big house. They all a.s.sumed that she was permanently settled in this well paid position, and she made no confidences. But all summer long she planned and read and studied out her progressive schemes, and strengthened her hold among the working women.
Laundress after laundress she studied personally and tested professionally, finding a general level of mediocrity, till finally she hit upon a melancholy Dane--a big rawboned red-faced woman--whose husband had been a miller, but was hurt about the head so that he was no longer able to earn his living. The huge fellow was docile, quiet, and endlessly strong, but needed constant supervision.
”He'll do anything you tell him, Miss, and do it well; but then he'll sit and dream about it--I can't leave him at all. But he'll take the clothes if I give him a paper with directions, and come right back.”
Poor Mrs. Thorald wiped her eyes, and went on with her swift ironing.
Diantha offered her the position of laundress at Union House, with two rooms for their own, over the laundry. ”There'll be work for him, too,”
she said. ”We need a man there. He can do a deal of the heavier work--be porter you know. I can't offer him very much, but it will help some.”