Part 13 (2/2)
”What was the biggest thing you saw at the Panama Exposition?” asked a wife of her husband. ”My hotel bill!” said he.
Why is C like a schoolmistress? Because it forms la.s.ses into cla.s.ses.
What is that which never asks any questions and yet requires many answers? The street door.
If a man b.u.mped his head against the top of a room, what article of stationery would he be supplies with? Ceiling whacks (sealing-wax).
Which is the oldest tree in the country? The elder tree.
Which is the longest word in the English language? Smiles; because there is a mile between the first and last letters.
What is that which happens twice in a moment and not once in a thousand years? The letter M.
How many sides are there to a tree? Two, inside and out.
What sea would a man most like to be in on a wet day? A dry attic (Adriatic).
Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge? Because it must be ground before it is used.
What is the difference between a bottle of medicine and a troublesome boy? One is to be well shaken before taken, and the other is to be taken and then shaken.
What makes more noise than a pig under a gate? Two pigs.
When is a door not a door? When it is a-jar.
What is the difference between a naughty boy and a postage stamp?
Because one you stick with a lick, and the other you lick with a stick.
Why did William Tell shudder when he shot the apple from his son's head? Because it was an arrow escape for his child.
What is that which the more you take from it the larger it grows? A hole.
What is the best land for little kittens? Lapland.
Why should a man always wear a watch when he travels in a waterless desert? Because every watch has a spring in it.
Of what trade is the sun? A tanner.
What relation is a doormat to a door? Step-fa(r)ther.
What is that which you cannot hold ten minutes, although it is as light as a feather? Your breath.
What is the worst weather for rats and mice? When it rains cats and dogs.
What is that which never uses its teeth for eating purposes? A comb.
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