Part 51 (2/2)
”You know what's all over my back?”
With a chill, she thought about the tattoo moving- Hold up, she told herself. It hadn't done that. He'd been breathing hard or something, and that was why the thing had appeared to have s.h.i.+fted positions.
”Mary, it's part of me. The beast. It's inside of me.” He rubbed his chest and then his arms. Now his thighs. ”I try to control it as best I can. But it... I don't want to hurt you. I don't know what to do. Even now, being around you, I'm... Christ, I'm a f.u.c.king mess.”
As he held out hands that trembled, he did look totally strung out.
”Part of the reason why I have to fight is that combat brings me down,” he said. ”And it's what the females were about. I took them because the release helped keep the beast at bay. Except now that I can't have s.e.x, I'm unstable. That's why, last night, I almost lost it. Twice.””Wait a... What are you talking about? You have me. Make love with me.”
”I can't let that happen anymore,” he said through gritted teeth. ”I can't... lay with you anymore.”
Stunned, she just stared at him. ”You mean, you won't be with me at all? Ever again?”
He shook his head. ”Never.”
”What the h.e.l.l? You want me.” Her eyes flicked down to the thick bulge in his pants. ”I can see you're hard. I can smell the need you have for me.”
Suddenly his eyes stopped blinking and flashed white.
”Why do your eyes change?” she whispered.
”Because it... comes alive.”
As she fell silent, he began to breathe in a strange rhythm. Two draws in, one long exhale. Two short gasps, one slow blow.
She struggled to come to grips with what he was saying. And failed, for the most part. He must mean that he had some kind of hard-core alter ego, she thought.
”Mary, I can't... lay with you because... when I'm with you it wants out.” Two more quick breaths. ”It wants...”
”What, exactly?”
”It wants you.” He backed away from her. ”Mary, it wants to... be inside of you. Do you understand what I'm saying? My other side wants to take you. I... I have to go now.”
”Wait!” He stopped at the door. Their eyes met. ”So let him have me.”
Rhage's mouth dropped open. ”Are you insane?”
No, she wasn't. They'd had s.e.x with a desperation that had bordered on violence. She'd felt his hard thrusts before. If this other personality of his was tough, she figured she could handle it.
”Just let yourself go. It's all right.”
Two short gasps. One long sigh. ”Mary, you don't know... what the f.u.c.k you are saying.”
She tried to make light of it. ”What are you going to do? Eat me?”
When he just stared at her with those white eyes, she went cold. Jesus, maybe he had a point.
But she was definitely insane.
”We'll tie you down,” she said.
He shook his head as he tripped over his feet and grabbed the doork.n.o.b. ”I don't want to chance it.”
”Wait! Do you know for sure what will happen?”
”No.” He scratched his neck and shoulders, twitching.
”Is there a possibility you'll just have the release you need?””Maybe.”
”So we'll try it. I'll run if... well, if something weird happens. Rhage, let me do this for us. Besides, what's the alternative? I move out? We don't see each other? We never have s.e.x again? I mean, come on, you're so itchy right now you're about to jump out of your skin.”
Fear flooded into his face, tightening his mouth, widening his eyes. Shame followed on its heels, a terrible, gut-wrenching misery that carried her across the room to him. She took his hands, feeling them shake.
”I hate to see you like this, Rhage.” When he started to speak, she cut him off. ”Look, you know what we're dealing with here. I don't. Do what you have to do to secure yourself and we'll... see what happens.”
He stared down at her. She wanted to press him, but had a feeling that would only push him in the opposite direction.
”Let me go talk to V,” he said finally.
”Chains,” Rhage repeated, while standing in the middle of the Pit's living room.
V looked over the top of his computer screen. ”Like what kind?”
”The ones you'd tow a car with.”
Butch came in from the kitchen, Bud in one hand, sandwich in the other. ”Hey, big man. S'up?”
”I want the two of you to chain me to my bed.”
”Kinky.”
”So do we have something we can use, V?”
Vishous repositioned his Sox hat. ”The garage. I think there are some in the garage. But Rhage, man, what are you thinking?”
”I need to... be with Mary. But I don't want to go through the-” He stopped. Exhaled. ”I'm afraid of changing. Too juiced.”
V's pale eyes narrowed. ”And you gave up the other females, didn't you?”
Rhage nodded. ”I only want Mary. I couldn't even get hard for anyone else at this point.”
”Ah, s.h.i.+t, man,” Vishous said under his breath.
”Why's monogamy a bad thing?” Butch asked as he sat down and popped open the can of beer. ”I mean, that's a d.a.m.n fine woman you got. Mary's good people.”
V shook his head. ”Remember what you saw in that clearing, cop? How'd you like that anywhere near a female you loved?”
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