26 Him or Another (1/2)

She pushed Ilun forward, crossing whole dream spaces in just a few leaps. She had no time, no energy to spend on spinning light from the darkness around. So many nightmares, she thought as she pushed through them searching for something to fill her.

Her courtyard had rebuilt some, the chasm that had opened closed but her flowers had not returned, the fountains still stood dry. She had climbed onto Ilun's back and left as soon as she arrived, focused on finding what she needed.

The Veil seemed intent on keeping it from her however. She rode Ilun from dream to dream, there was nothing but upset and discord. Here a child lost, there a murder. Everything was heavy with fear.

She slowed him, taking a moment to calm her own panic and feel the threads of the Veil around her. She urged Ilun in the direction of one that felt right, felt like light. He moved as she pushed, stepping through strange landscapes until she tugged his fur, signaling him to stop.

She closed her eyes, letting the feel of the dream wash over her. Yes, this is a good one, she thought as she slid off Ilun's back. The unfamiliar space welcomed her, a kitchen but more than a kitchen to the dreamer. She smiled as she passed by the table and settled into a corner, beckoning Ilun to join her.

In front of her, the dreamer made bread with another woman. They talked and kneaded dough in front of them. Their exchange was nonsense to Isilla's ears but it didn't matter, whatever they were saying, it pleased the dreamer well.

The warmth of the space wrapped around and entered her. Without her involvement, the dreamers moved around Isilla and Ilun as if they weren't there at all, stepping over his slowly wagging tails, reaching around her to pull things from low shelves.

That must be the dreamer's mother, she thought watching how the two moved and spoke. The scene reminded her of her own mother and she smiled for a moment before letting the memory fade. A familiar tremor vibrated through the floor. This dreamer would wake very soon.

”Ilun, let's go,” she said standing and leading him out of the door and into the next space.

She frowned, met with another nightmare, this one a dirt tunnel with nothing but small candles for light. Filled somewhat from the last dream she dipped her fingers into the fabric of the nightmare. She felt the threads of the space and willed them to reshape, to become something else. Not to far different from what it was, just enough to calm, to bring joy.

The walls shifted from dirt to stone as she walked, softly glowing crystals lining the space. She turned down winding hallways until she found the dreamer, alone and frightened. She reached for him and he took her hands. Silently she walked him back through the world of his dream, showing him there was nothing to be afraid of.

The energy just right she let go of his hand, watching as he walked past them. Alone she sat in the tunnel with Ilun as she had in the kitchen, letting the dream take it's course while she absorbed the light from it.

More relaxed, she turned her attention to the day's events. She had seen Arren's shadows stop Lehan's without incident but he hadn't acted until the woman's attack would be deadly. Isilla could see that he was ready, his shadows were thick around him but he hesitated to do anything at all.

”Why did he do that?” she asked the empty hall, leaning back to stare at the rocky ceiling that mimicked the night sky. She had so many questions about him but he never seemed to answer any of them.

”He was so angry after he found the ring. No, after I changed his memory. I can change memories? I've never done that before, have I been doing that the whole time? Everything has become so complicated here.”

She tried to focus on the puzzle of the ring but her mind kept wandering back to Arren. ”When he said he wasn't good at it, I wonder what he meant. Being a husband, a friend, or just talking to someone?”

Ilun barked softly as if in response.

”You're right, it's all three,” Isilla said smiling to herself. Still, the touch of his shadows felt more like the private Arren and less like the Lord of All Shadows. Each day, the man who wrote her letters felt further away from her, less real now that she was so much closer than he had ever felt when she was still in her own lands.

”Maybe he isn't real and two Princes are all there is. A cruel one who passed his duty to someone else and a man all tied up in a monster and I don't know which is worse to be married to,” she said idly.

Out of her mouth, she could feel the lie. Despite her uncertainty around him, Arren had saved her. As Lehan's wife she may have been clearer about her position in his life but he would have been far more cruel, at least directly, to her. Whatever Arren had done in the past, he was not cruel, regardless of what she had said.

Mattin said to ask him about it, I should, she thought. ”Maybe he's hiding behind his title. This place seems very unforgiving.”

That woman said she was challenging me, Isilla thought, I'll ask Mattin what that means. I have no magic, I don't know how I would fight anyone. I think I can trust him, at least for something like this.

She stood, dusting off her skirts before leading Ilun out of the tunnels and into the next dream. She spent no time waiting, her reserve filled enough so that she could easily wander through the Veil, changing and drawing as she needed.

Satisfied she returned to her courtyard. She smiled up at the lavender sky and noted that crack-less ground under her feet. Still, the fountains were only at a trickle and the flowers hadn't returned.

”You fool!” the shade screeched at her.

Isilla turned to the voice, Ilun ducking behind her, suddenly terrified.

”You could have died! And from such a mild injury!” the shades face was twisted in anger, her eyes burned, locked on Isilla. ”Why did you let your light fade so much here? I already warned you once!”

”I didn't know this would happen. I don't know what was happening. The world just, crumbled,” she said, as she fell to the ground, her light weaving cushions to catch her. Ilun laid behind her and she threw her arm over him, her touch calming his fears.

”Of course this would happen! Dreaming only knows protect the Sorgia! Every bit of light to you! And when it runs out,” she stopped and looked away.