44 The Laboratory of Doc-Danger (1/2)
”Killing people is easy.It's not killing them that's hard.”
- Deadman
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5 Days Later
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I'm driving slowly down a bumpy hill.I'm close to the lab.Most of my trip has been on paved roads, but the last hour has been on a logging trail through a huge forest.My legs are soaked because I've driven through three swamps.I've had to lift the bike over two fallen trees.I'm going slightly slower than if I was walking.I could ditch the bike and hike the rest of the way, but there could be more swamps, and I don't feel like wading through them.That would be nasty.
The trail starts to climb, and gets less wet.I'm able to put on a little speed.After another hour, I come to a clearing in the woods.There's a cabin with smoke pouring out of it.From the front door mostly.Oily, black, smoke.
On the other side of the clearing there are six ATV's, and a tent, and a campfire, and a dude making breakfast.
So, Doc-Danger's lab is an ancient log cabin.I was kind of expecting that.I wasn't expecting that much smoke to be coming out of it.Though, now that I think about it, Doc-Danger was a careless and destructive guy.
I look over at the guy cooking breakfast.I was hoping to be alone when I explored the lab.Maybe that guy hasn't seen me yet, and I can sneak into the cabin.The guy stands up and waves.He may have seen me.He holds up a cup of coffee.It may be too late to be sneaky.
I look at the guy.Sweater, jeans, ball cap, sneakers.Alone.Not armed.Well, he's not holding a rifle or anything.He could have a grenade up his ass for all I know.
I'm very close to my objective.I'd rather not deal with strangers in the woods right now.But, once again, I'm low on options.I'm not going back.I could ignore him and drive right into the cabin, but it doesn't look like I can breath in there.I could attempt vehicular homicide, but that seems rude.Killing a man for offering you coffee.
I'm very curious about the smoke.Fuck it.Let's see if this guy knows anything.
I pull up, and he smiles, offers the coffee.”You here to investigate Doc-Danger's lab?”
”Yes.”I say.
”Yeah, I wouldn't do that.It's super dangerous.”he says.”I've seen six dudes get vaporized in there.There's some kind of super hot laser.”
”Figures.”
”I know, right?”says Guy.”I'm here to keep people out.Actually, I'm supposed to be sending people in, but fuck that.I know we're all being mind controlled, but let's not be idiots about it.”
I drink some coffee.Guy seems okay.”You don't have to go in if you don't want to?”
”Of course not.”He looks puzzled.”Have you been doing things you don't want to do?”He pulls out his phone.Types furiously.Reads quickly.”You could be having a bad drug interaction.Do you need help?”
”Uhh…No, I'm good.”Fuck it, I'm gonna tell him the truth.”I'm not having any drug interactions.The Optimal drugs don't work for me.”Okay, that wasn't the truth.Close enough.
”Oh shit, I'm sorry.”He attacks his phone.”Wow.There's, like, no outreach for people in your situation.You must have so many questions.Well, let's fix that right now.Ask me anything.I'd be happy to explain the inner workings of this global mind control conspiracy.”
He's still hammering away at his phone.He notices I'm looking at his hands.”Oh, sorry.Do you mind if I type while we're talking?I'm totally paying attention.I just want to make a FAQ for other Sub-Optimals.Oh shit!I shouldn't have called you Sub-Optimal.I'm so sorry.”
This is a very agreeable enemy.”Sub-Optimal is fine.”
We talk for a couple hours.I learn many things.The blue pills, aside from granting laser-like mental focus, also make you insatiably curious and goal oriented.Optimals get intense satisfaction from learning and completing the puzzles on their phones.
Guy particularly enjoys the ”The Hunt for Doc-Danger”, a massive manhunt style game he plays with several thousand of his online Optimal friends.He's obsessed with it.He has an encyclopedic knowledge Doc-Danger's associates.Even me.
”I knew who you were right away.”he says.”I didn't say anything 'cause I didn't want to come off as psycho.”
”Good instincts.”