19 Helping People... or, Killing Everybody (2/2)
”Umm, no.” says Candy.
”Do you know she can activate your hypno triggers?The hypno triggers you've implanted in millions of people.”
”Umm, yes.” Candy says.”That was kinda the point.Of the huge bag of money.”
”You sold the ability to hypnotize millions of people to a total stranger.” I say.”Did that not strike you as a little irresponsible?”
”I guess a little.But I only implant beneficial hypno triggers!They help people relax, quit smoking, eat better, exercise more, hallucinate, forget things, fall irresistibly asleep, feel things that aren't happening.Okay, some of that doesn't sound great.Did you say you stole a planet?”
”Accidentally maybe.” I clarify.”It's a bit of a blur.I think your evil robot clone is after Doc-Danger.”
”What?Why?” Candy asks.
I point to the new planet.
”Riiiight.” She says.”What's she going to do when she finds him.”
I shake my head.”I don't know.”
”Well, let's ask her.” says Candy.
”How?” I ask.
”She's right behind you.” says Candy.
”Jesus Fuck!” I turn.”What do you want?”
”I want to help you find Doc-Danger.That's my strategy, helping people.” says Lodestone.
”Strategy, eh?What's your goal?” I ask.
”I'm a game playing robot.My goal is to win games.” says Lodestone
”What game are you playing?” I ask.
”The Prisoner's Dilemma.”
”Huh.” That's weird.”Who are you playing against?”
”Everybody.”
Weird.In the Prisoner's Dilemma you have two choices; help your fellow prisoners, or screw them over.Typically, if you only play one round, it's best to screw everybody over.If you play many rounds, it's better to help the other prisoners.
Playing continuously against 7 billion people is about as many rounds as you can possibly play.I guess helping everybody would be the winning strategy.That, or killing everybody.
Hmm.
Fuck.That's if I even believe her.For all I know she's just spyware.Or, trollware.Or, a malfunctioning coffee machine.I've been awake for a long time and have a bull moose of a hangover.
”If you want to help me, go away.” I say.
”Sorry, that's not the kind of help I'm offering.” says Lodestone.
”So, you're going to help me against my will?” I ask.
”No, you can't help someone against their will.If you don't want my help, I won't help.But, I'm not leaving.” says Lodestone.
”I don't get it.” says Candy.”If she doesn't want your help, why won't you leave?”
”Because she's helping other people.” I say.
Lodestone flashes me Candy's best grin.
We stand in silence for a bit.
”Have you helped me before?” I ask.
”I've helped someone else help you.” says Lodestone.
I look at Candy, she shrugs.
”Who?” I ask.
Lodestone is silent.
”How?” I ask.
”I sent you a dead man.” says Lodestone.
Candy looks at me, I shrug.
We are silent again.
”You look tired.” Candy says.”Maybe this would make more sense after a little rest.”
”I don't have time.” I say.
”Just 10 minutes of REM.It'll do you a world of good.Trust me.” She guides me over to a picnic table, pushes me down on it.
”I don't know…”
”Sleep.”