16 Sparkles and Rainbows (1/2)
”We've had cloning technology for decades.No one does it.I don't think anybody really likes themselves.”
- Doc-Danger
”I would clone myself to get rid of a hangover.”
- Megacles
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3 Weeks Later
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My name's Farfaloo, and I'm a pretty unicorn!I'm frollicking in a meadow!It's awesome!I love this meadow!Meadows rule!There's butterflies!And a stream!Fucking A!I hop around, all four feet jumping at once!I get mad air!
I come across a big bull.He's frollicking too, but it's more of a lazy, rolling around affair.
”Sup bull!Nice horns!”
”Thanks.Right back at ya.”
We frolic in the general vicinity of each other for a while.
”Hey bull!Wanna have a race!”
”Not really.I like rolling.”
”Aww, come on!”
”Okay.But if I win, I get to fuck you.”
”Deal!But if I win, we get to race again!”
I fucking love racing!
I tear off, bouncing all over the place.Big Bull fumbles to his feet and lumbers after me.At first, I'm just poking around, trying not to lose him.But as he warms up, he gets really fast.Goody!
I kick it up a few notches.He keeps the pace.I lean in, really open up.He closes the gap.I feel great, happy as fuck, I love this.I don't know if I want to win or fuck.Ha!I can do both!
I look behind me, to admire his form.He looks furious.He has a monstrous erection.Monstrous like, it could destroy a city.Well, that sucks.I think I want to win now.
I take a funny bounce that shoots me sideways into the woods.I slalom around the trees at top speed.My bounciness makes me peerless at direction changes.But I'm actually losing ground.What he lacks in agility, he makes up for with a big fucking head that can bash through trees.
I'm going to lose this race.Normally I'd be fine with that - I fucking love racing!But today that makes me sad.I don't like the big bull anymore.I don't like how he knocks down trees.I don't like his angry face.I don't like his huge angry dick.
Okay, fuck this.On my next bounce, I spin and shoot back at him.My horn slams into his chest with a bang.It gets caught on something.His spine perhaps?I shake my head until it comes loose, cutting him in half in the process.Blood and gooey mess fly everywhere.Then I stomp on the bits for a while.He's mostly ankle stain now.I stab the biggest remaining chunk - his head?With a flick of my neck, I fire it deep into the woods.
Problem solved.
I relax, and sink down into a bed of flowers.I sink in deep.Impossibly deep.10 feet.20 feet.Miles.Forever.It's very relaxing.I sink deeper and deeper, until I finally reach Candy's bed.I love Candy's bed.What the fuck?I'm not a unicorn!Oh fuck, she hypnotized me!
”Did I agree to this?” I ask.
”Yes.” says Candy.
”Why?” I ask.
”How do you feel?” asks Candy.
I sit up.I'm sweaty and shaky.I don't feel bad though, more like I've been worked hard.It starts coming back to me.
”Holy shit.Was that a workout program?”
”Yeah!I know how much you hate exercise, so I came up with a hypno-assisted workout!” says Candy.”You were supposed to enjoy a exhilarating fantasy, while your body works through a set of isometric exercises.How was it?”
”Uh, I was a stunned unicorn…”
”Yeah, I thought you should stay true to yourself.”
”Thanks.Did you add a weird sex component?”
”Yeah, I thought you should stay true to yourself.”
”Ha.Well, it was a little too freaky.Ran off the rails.”
”Oh no.I'm sorry.Did you not like your partner?”
”Partner?That was a real guy?Oopsie.” I say.