7 Police Trouble (1/2)

”I'm not dumb, I'm overconfident.But, knowing I'm overconfident, I could be dumb too.”

- Doc-Danger

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30 Minutes Later

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”These cops are going to **** and murder us.”says Candy, my new stripper friend.

”I don't think they do that.”I say.

”You should read the paper more.”says Candy.

Sad Cop had called more police, and they arrived in the form of Alpha Cop and his flock of beta cops.Now Sad Cop is sitting in a corner booth with his wife, Shooter McCuntypants.She also looks sad.Also, she's unrestrained.

Alpha Cop is at central table with Shoulders.Ostensibly, it's a police interview, but neither man is speaking.Instead, they are trying to murder each other with intense eye contact.

The beta cops flutter around doing beta cop stuff.

Candy and I are huddled in another booth, as far from Shooter's as possible.Why the fuck wasn't she in handcuffs?

”Okay, I've got her figured out.” says Candy, pointing at Shooter.”She's psycho and wants to kill her husband for his moral failings.She had to kill him in public, because drama needs an audience, or something.”

”So rude.”I say.

”Right?I don't murder my loved ones at her place of business.She should extend me the same courtesy.”Candy points at Sad Cop.”Her husband has Stockholm Syndrome.He's trying to keep her out of jail.”

”Poor guy.”

”Poor us.”Candy corrects,”We're the inconvenient witnesses.”

”Damn.”

”Yeah.Anyway, that's their story.The only thing I can't figure out is - who the fuck are you?Why are you rolling with her?What's with the massive dildo?”

”I just wanted a drink!She invited me in for a drink!I thought she was asking me out!I've never seen her before!The dildo was just an impulse buy.”

”From the sex shop on the corner?”I nod.”That makes sense.Their impulse buy section is crazy.I went in for condoms once, and ended up with a football up my ass.”

”Really?”

”No, I'm exaggerating.”