9 Chapter 9 (1/2)

”You can just take that back, boy!”

This order, given by me to Cecil Jacobs, was the beginning of a rather thin time forJem and me. My fists were clenched and I was ready to let fly. Atticus had promised mehe would wear me out if he ever heard of me fighting any more; I was far too old and toobig for such childish things, and the sooner I learned to hold in, the better off everybodywould be. I soon forgot.

Cecil Jacobs made me forget. He had announced in the schoolyard the day beforethat Scout Finch's daddy defended niggers. I denied it, but told Jem.

”What'd he mean sayin' that?” I asked.

”Nothing,” Jem said. ”Ask Atticus, he'll tell you.”

”Do you defend niggers, Atticus?” I asked him that evening.

”Of course I do. Don't say nigger, Scout. That's common.”

”'s what everybody at school says.”

”From now on it'll be everybody less one—”

”Well if you don't want me to grow up talkin' that way, why do you send me to school?”

My father looked at me mildly, amusement in his eyes. Despite our compromise, mycampaign to avoid school had continued in one form or another since my first day'sdose of it: the beginning of last September had brought on sinking spells, dizziness, andmild gastric complaints. I went so far as to pay a nickel for the privilege of rubbing myhead against the head of Miss Rachel's cook's son, who was afflicted with a tremendousringworm. It didn't take.

But I was worrying another bone. ”Do all lawyers defend n-Negroes, Atticus?”

”Of course they do, Scout.”

”Then why did Cecil say you defended niggers? He made it sound like you wererunnin' a still.”

Atticus sighed. ”I'm simply defending a Negro—his name's Tom Robinson. He lives inthat little settlement beyond the town dump. He's a member of Calpurnia's church, andCal knows his family well. She says they're clean-living folks. Scout, you aren't oldenough to understand some things yet, but there's been some high talk around town tothe effect that I shouldn't do much about defending this man. It's a peculiar case—itwon't come to trial until summer session. John Taylor was kind enough to give us apostponement…”

”If you shouldn't be defendin' him, then why are you doin' it?”

”For a number of reasons,” said Atticus. ”The main one is, if I didn't I couldn't hold upmy head in town, I couldn't represent this county in the legislature, I couldn't even tellyou or Jem not to do something again.”

”You mean if you didn't defend that man, Jem and me wouldn't have to mind you anymore?”

”That's about right.”

”Why?”

”Because I could never ask you to mind me again. Scout, simply by the nature of thework, every lawyer gets at least one case in his lifetime that affects him personally. Thisone's mine, I guess. You might hear some ugly talk about it at school, but do one thingfor me if you will: you just hold your head high and keep those fists down. No matterwhat anybody says to you, don't you let 'em get your goat. Try fighting with your headfor a change… it's a good one, even if it does resist learning.”

”Atticus, are we going to win it?”

”No, honey.”

”Then why—”

”Simply because we were licked a hundred years before we started is no reason for usnot to try to win,” Atticus said.

”You sound like Cousin Ike Finch,” I said. Cousin Ike Finch was Maycomb County'ssole surviving Confederate veteran. He wore a General Hood type beard of which hewas inordinately vain. At least once a year Atticus, Jem and I called on him, and I wouldhave to kiss him. It was horrible. Jem and I would listen respectfully to Atticus andCousin Ike rehash the war. ”Tell you, Atticus,” Cousin Ike would say, ”the MissouriCompromise was what licked us, but if I had to go through it agin I'd walk every step ofthe way there an' every step back jist like I did before an' furthermore we'd whip 'em thistime… now in 1864, when Stonewall Jackson came around by—I beg your pardon,young folks. Ol' Blue Light was in heaven then, God rest his saintly brow…”

”Come here, Scout,” said Atticus. I crawled into his lap and tucked my head under hischin. He put his arms around me and rocked me gently. ”It's different this time,” he said.

”This time we aren't fighting the Yankees, we're fighting our friends. But remember this,no matter how bitter things get, they're still our friends and this is still our home.”

With this in mind, I faced Cecil Jacobs in the schoolyard next day: ”You gonna takethat back, boy?”

”You gotta make me first!” he yelled. ”My folks said your daddy was a disgrace an' thatnigger oughta hang from the water-tank!”

I drew a bead on him, remembered what Atticus had said, then dropped my fists andwalked away, ”Scout's a cow—ward!” ringing in my ears. It was the first time I everwalked away from a fight.

Somehow, if I fought Cecil I would let Atticus down. Atticus so rarely asked Jem andme to do something for him, I could take being called a coward for him. I felt extremelynoble for having remembered, and remained noble for three weeks. Then Christmascame and disaster struck.

Jem and I viewed Christmas with mixed feelings. The good side was the tree andUncle Jack Finch. Every Christmas Eve day we met Uncle Jack at Maycomb Junction,and he would spend a week with us.

A flip of the coin revealed the uncompromising lineaments of Aunt Alexandra andFrancis.

I suppose I should include Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Alexandra's husband, but as he neverspoke a word to me in my life except to say, ”Get off the fence,” once, I never saw anyreason to take notice of him. Neither did Aunt Alexandra. Long ago, in a burst offriendliness, Aunty and Uncle Jimmy produced a son named Henry, who left home assoon as was humanly possible, married, and produced Francis. Henry and his wifedeposited Francis at his grandparents' every Christmas, then pursued their ownpleasures.

No amount of sighing could induce Atticus to let us spend Christmas day at home. Wewent to Finch's Landing every Christmas in my memory. The fact that Aunty was a goodcook was some compensation for being forced to spend a religious holiday with FrancisHancock. He was a year older than I, and I avoided him on principle: he enjoyedeverything I disapproved of, and disliked my ingenuous diversions.

Aunt Alexandra was Atticus's sister, but when Jem told me about changelings andsiblings, I decided that she had been swapped at birth, that my grandparents hadperhaps received a Crawford instead of a Finch. Had I ever harbored the mysticalnotions about mountains that seem to obsess lawyers and judges, Aunt Alexandrawould have been analogous to Mount Everest: throughout my early life, she was coldand there.

When Uncle Jack jumped down from the train Christmas Eve day, we had to wait forthe porter to hand him two long packages. Jem and I always thought it funny whenUncle Jack pecked Atticus on the cheek; they were the only two men we ever saw kisseach other. Uncle Jack shook hands with Jem and swung me high, but not high enough:

Uncle Jack was a head shorter than Atticus; the baby of the family, he was younger thanAunt Alexandra. He and Aunty looked alike, but Uncle Jack made better use of his face:

we were never wary of his sharp nose and chin.

He was one of the few men of science who never terrified me, probably because henever behaved like a doctor. Whenever he performed a minor service for Jem and me,as removing a splinter from a foot, he would tell us exactly what he was going to do,give us an estimation of how much it would hurt, and explain the use of any tongs heemployed. One Christmas I lurked in corners nursing a twisted splinter in my foot,permitting no one to come near me. When Uncle Jack caught me, he kept me laughingabout a preacher who hated going to church so much that every day he stood at hisgate in his dressing-gown, smoking a hookah and delivering five-minute sermons to anypassers-by who desired spiritual comfort. I interrupted to make Uncle Jack let me knowwhen he would pull it out, but he held up a bloody splinter in a pair of tweezers and saidhe yanked it while I was laughing, that was what was known as relativity.

”What's in those packages?” I asked him, pointing to the long thin parcels the porterhad given him.

”None of your business,” he said.

Jem said, ”How's Rose Aylmer?”

Rose Aylmer was Uncle Jack's cat. She was a beautiful yellow female Uncle Jack saidwas one of the few women he could stand permanently. He reached into his coat pocketand brought out some snapshots. We admired them.

”She's gettin' fat,” I said.

”I should think so. She eats all the leftover fingers and ears from the hospital.”

”Aw, that's a damn story,” I said.

”I beg your pardon?”

Atticus said, ”Don't pay any attention to her, Jack. She's trying you out. Cal says she'sbeen cussing fluently for a week, now.” Uncle Jack raised his eyebrows and saidnothing. I was proceeding on the dim theory, aside from the innate attractiveness ofsuch words, that if Atticus discovered I had picked them up at school he wouldn't makeme go.

But at supper that evening when I asked him to pass the damn ham, please, UncleJack pointed at me. ”See me afterwards, young lady,” he said.

When supper was over, Uncle Jack went to the livingroom and sat down. He slappedhis thighs for me to come sit on his lap. I liked to smell him: he was like a bottle ofalcohol and something pleasantly sweet. He pushed back my bangs and looked at me.

”You're more like Atticus than your mother,” he said. ”You're also growing out of yourpants a little.”

”I reckon they fit all right.”

”You like words like damn and hell now, don't you?”

I said I reckoned so.

”Well I don't,” said Uncle Jack, ”not unless there's extreme provocation connected with'em. I'll be here a week, and I don't want to hear any words like that while I'm here.

Scout, you'll get in trouble if you go around saying things like that. You want to grow upto be a lady, don't you?”

I said not particularly.

”Of course you do. Now let's get to the tree.”

We decorated the tree until bedtime, and that night I dreamed of the two longpackages for Jem and me. Next morning Jem and I dived for them: they were fromAtticus, who had written Uncle Jack to get them for us, and they were what we hadasked for.

”Don't point them in the house,” said Atticus, when Jem aimed at a picture on the wall.

”You'll have to teach 'em to shoot,” said Uncle Jack.

”That's your job,” said Atticus. ”I merely bowed to the inevitable.”

It took Atticus's courtroom voice to drag us away from the tree. He declined to let ustake our air rifles to the Landing (I had already begun to think of shooting Francis) andsaid if we made one false move he'd take them away from us for good.

Finch's Landing consisted of three hundred and sixty-six steps down a high bluff andending in a jetty. Farther down stream, beyond the bluff, were traces of an old cottonlanding, where Finch Negroes had loaded bales and produce, unloaded blocks of ice,flour and sugar, farm equipment, and feminine apparel. A two-rut road ran from theriverside and vanished among dark trees. At the end of the road was a two-storied whitehouse with porches circling it upstairs and downstairs. In his old age, our ancestorSimon Finch had built it to please his nagging wife; but with the porches all resemblanceto ordinary houses of its era ended. The internal arrangements of the Finch house wereindicative of Simon's guilelessness and the absolute trust with which he regarded hisoffspring.

There were six bedrooms upstairs, four for the eight female children, one for WelcomeFinch, the sole son, and one for visiting relatives. Simple enough; but the daughters'

rooms could be reached only by one staircase, Welcome's room and the guestroomonly by another. The Daughters' Staircase was in the ground-floor bedroom of theirparents, so Simon always knew the hours of his daughters' nocturnal comings andgoings.

There was a kitchen separate from the rest of the house, tacked onto it by a woodencatwalk; in the back yard was a rusty bell on a pole, used to summon field hands or as adistress signal; a widow's walk was on the roof, but no widows walked there—from it,Simon oversaw his overseer, watched the river-boats, and gazed into the lives ofsurrounding landholders.

There went with the house the usual legend about the Yankees: one Finch female,recently engaged, donned her complete trousseau to save it from raiders in theneighborhood; she became stuck in the door to the Daughters' Staircase but wasdoused with water and finally pushed through. When we arrived at the Landing, AuntAlexandra kissed Uncle Jack, Francis kissed Uncle Jack, Uncle Jimmy shook handssilently with Uncle Jack, Jem and I gave our presents to Francis, who gave us a present.

Jem felt his age and gravitated to the adults, leaving me to entertain our cousin. Franciswas eight and slicked back his hair.

”What'd you get for Christmas?” I asked politely.

”Just what I asked for,” he said. Francis had requested a pair of knee-pants, a redleather booksack, five shirts and an untied bow tie.

”That's nice,” I lied. ”Jem and me got air rifles, and Jem got a chemistry set—”

”A toy one, I reckon.”

”No, a real one. He's gonna make me some invisible ink, and I'm gonna write to Dill init.”

Francis asked what was the use of that.

”Well, can't you just see his face when he gets a letter from me with nothing in it? It'lldrive him nuts.”

Talking to Francis gave me the sensation of settling slowly to the bottom of the ocean.

He was the most boring child I ever met. As he lived in Mobile, he could not inform onme to school authorities, but he managed to tell everything he knew to Aunt Alexandra,who in turn unburdened herself to Atticus, who either forgot it or gave me hell,whichever struck his fancy. But the only time I ever heard Atticus speak sharply toanyone was when I once heard him say, ”Sister, I do the best I can with them!” It hadsomething to do with my going around in overalls.

Aunt Alexandra was fanatical on the subject of my attire. I could not possibly hope tobe a lady if I wore breeches; when I said I could do nothing in a dress, she said I wasn'tsupposed to be doing things that required pants. Aunt Alexandra's vision of mydeportment involved playing with small stoves, tea sets, and wearing the Add-A-Pearlnecklace she gave me when I was born; furthermore, I should be a ray of sunshine inmy father's lonely life. I suggested that one could be a ray of sunshine in pants just aswell, but Aunty said that one had to behave like a sunbeam, that I was born good buthad grown progressively worse every year. She hurt my feelings and set my teethpermanently on edge, but when I asked Atticus about it, he said there were alreadyenough sunbeams in the family and to go on about my business, he didn't mind memuch the way I was.

At Christmas dinner, I sat at the little table in the diningroom; Jem and Francis sat withthe adults at the dining table. Aunty had continued to isolate me long after Jem andFrancis graduated to the big table. I often wondered what she thought I'd do, get up andthrow something? I sometimes thought of asking her if she would let me sit at the bigtable with the rest of them just once, I would prove to her how civilized I could be; afterall, I ate at home every day with no major mishaps. When I begged Atticus to use hisinfluence, he said he had none—we were guests, and we sat where she told us to sit.

He also said Aunt Alexandra didn't understand girls much, she'd never had one.

But her cooking made up for everything: three kinds of meat, summer vegetables fromher pantry shelves; peach pickles, two kinds of cake and ambrosia constituted a modestChristmas dinner. Afterwards, the adults made for the livingroom and sat around in adazed condition. Jem lay on the floor, and I went to the back yard. ”Put on your coat,”

said Atticus dreamily, so I didn't hear him.

Francis sat beside me on the back steps. ”That was the best yet,” I said.

”Grandma's a wonderful cook,” said Francis. ”She's gonna teach me how.”

”Boys don't cook.” I giggled at the thought of Jem in an apron.

”Grandma says all men should learn to cook, that men oughta be careful with theirwives and wait on 'em when they don't feel good,” said my cousin.

”I don't want Dill waitin' on me,” I said. ”I'd rather wait on him.”

”Dill?”

”Yeah. Don't say anything about it yet, but we're gonna get married as soon as we'rebig enough. He asked me last summer.”

Francis hooted.

”What's the matter with him?” I asked. ”Ain't anything the matter with him.”

”You mean that little runt Grandma says stays with Miss Rachel every summer?”

”That's exactly who I mean.”

”I know all about him,” said Francis.

”What about him?”

”Grandma says he hasn't got a home—”

”Has too, he lives in Meridian.”

”—he just gets passed around from relative to relative, and Miss Rachel keeps himevery summer.”

”Francis, that's not so!”