55 WAIT FOR ME (1/2)

Hearing her cry breaks my heart. When I heard the crack in her voice, my heart urged me to abandon work and go to her. I was so compelled to just leave and accompany her in her grief.

All I wanna do is just to be there for her. And it breaks my heart that I couldn't do it. Oh how I wish I could just teleport to where she is right now and tuck her to sleep.

And when she requested me to accompany her until she sleeps, it took all my willpower to stay still and remain where I am. I would fly, if I could, just to see her fall asleep in my arms, safe and sound. God I love her so much, so so much.

So I sang to her the song I wanted her to hear, 'For First Time Lovers'*. I know it's not our first time in that aspect but everyday with her feels like a first time. And I wanted her to feel how much I care for her, how much I love her.

I know she wouldn't understand but I'm leaving it to my voice for her to be mesmerized. Kidding aside, someday I'm gonna explain it to her.

I sang it in korean because in the first place, it is a korean song. And korean has been my first language, knowing that my mom is one. Singing it in english would feel like tainting the entirety of the song.

I stopped working altogether and thought of the first time we met. She was sad back then. And all I wanted to do was place a bright smile on her face. So, I shyly approached her and made some small talk.

I don't know why I was so drawn to her, everything about her perks up my interest. She is so damn gorgeous, but her every movement echoes simplicity and humility.

So when I was given an opportunity, I asked Ash to let me bring her home. But it wasn't planned to bring her to my home. I just forgot to ask Ash where she lives. And fortunately for me, it was the reason we had our first date.

~”The day when I first saw you

Your bright smile full of shyness

we'll get closer after today

every day, I have heart-fluttering expectations

what to say to you

how to get you to laugh

I fear it'll get awkward when I try to hold your hand

all I can do is smile shyly”~

It was my first time opening up to someone, and maybe it was when we were talking about home that I saw her wearing a wedding dress, walking down the aisle, towards me.

I know it sounds so creepy because it was just our first meeting but it just is. That smile of hers, those eyes, her expressive face everything about her.

It was my first time slowly learning how to conquer my fear of heights. It was the reason I could finally use the cable car back at my mountain cabin. She was the reason that I could celebrate Christmas full of joy.

~”Hopefully we can speak banmal** to each other

even though it's still awkward and unfamiliar

instead of saying 'thank you'

talk to me in a friendlier way”~

And I love it how she calls me baby, babe, sweetie, love and so many now. Even my name sounds so sweet in her lips.

I love how she's grown comfortable with me, that she even tries to seduce me. God, the strength I had to reject her is as thin as my hair strand.

~”Hopefully we can speak banmal to each other

you walk towards me slowly, step by step

now look at my two eyes and tell me

I love you”~

I love everything about her.

~”Hopefully we can fall in love with each other