183 The World in Which Ism Forgotten (2/2)

Ocassionally on my walks, I would come across the others. Like expected, they would walk past me like I'm not there, so I didn't linger for much except that occasional initial glance. I don't even know why I did that, to be honest. Maybe I'm just hoping that one day they might suddenly recall who I am. But, it's pretty stupid to hold on to hopes such as that.

However, it's nice to see that they're getting along just fine without me. While walking, I saw Irina walking with Muria as the two went shopping. They appeared quite happy with smiles on their faces. It would appear that even without me, someone was able to help Irina after all...

I continued my walk to the other side of the pedestrian overpass, making my way down the stairs with the other pedestrians who walked the city streets. Then, I saw Luna. It would appear that things were going well for her as well since she no longer has her disease and memories of it. She appeared quite happy as she hugged tightly onto her boyfriend's arm and pressed her body against his for warmth in this winter weather. It's quite nice, really, to know that at the end of the day, someone as worthless as I am could still accomplish something.

Without saying anything, I stopped and watched as they continued down the large sidewalk of the busy Palisian city streets. Once they were gone from sight, that was when I continued my aimless stroll through the city.

To be honest, I haven't really thought about what I would be doing from now on. Unless I try really hard, no one could see me. I am like a ghost with a physical body, able to go wherever I wanted. Without any social obligations and with ample time at my disposal, maybe I could finally focus on dealing with what I had wanted to deal with for a while now. But the thing is, gathering information in this state will be extremely difficult, almost impossible even. It'll take a long time if I were to try...

When nighttime came around, I continued my aimless walk, wandering about in the city. Out of general interest, I made my way to the largest red-light district in Palisia located in the Sefilig district. Like expected, there were plenty of bright neon lights on the red and pink spectrum with decorated signs intended to cater towards males. There were plenty of people walking down this street, and in the crowd, there were plenty of pretty women trying to attract customers as well as male hustlers trying to have people come into their stores.

I've been here once before with Loriana, but that was when it was raining. In addition, we were barely at the outskirts of this place. Now that I am in the heart of it all, I could really feel the sense of danger and thrill that this location brought with it. In the small alleyways, I could see people dressed in menacing looking suits. These people were probably the people sent by the local gangs to protect their establishments. In addition to these gang members, there were police officers patrolling the place, which led to an uncomfortable and delicate balance that could break at any time.

I could now understand why people come to this place: it's for the thrill. Knowing that there are gang members ready to mess up your life if you misspeak or do something that offends them and that there are police officers nearby that will arrest you for drug use, for commoners this place is really the location where it will get your adrenaline pumping.

After deciding that I had seen enough, it was time for me to return to my place of residence. I made my way away from the bustling red-light district, allowing the loud noises to decrease in volume and eventually die off as I made my way to the train station and boarded a train headed for Lumina.

The train car was quite empty as it was this was the last scheduled run for the day. Therefore, the train car was basically just occupied by me and me only. In this empty train car, I sat down on one of the many available seats and looked out the window and at the city scene that passed by. In my chest, there was a feeling of great disappointment and emptiness. It was as if nothing I do could really satisfy me, making every day of my life now feel like a chore. There's no real happiness for me, which might be the reason why the frustration is being built up in my heart right now...

Maybe it's because I want to remain close at home, but the location I had chosen to sleep at is the riverside trail on the Lumina bank of the Helliger River near the building that I used to live in. There're plenty of empty park benches available at night so I just chose one nearest to the building and laid down on my back.

The winter wind was cold, but I felt warmth due to this enchanted muffler scarf that was given to me by the Goddess of Death. It's quite weird to think that the one Goddess responsible for death would have more compassion than God himself.

With a sense of emptiness, I closed my eyes once again.