150 Together In Bed (2/2)

”Are you going to defy the king's order?” she said in a threatening tone.

”The game's already over...”

”So what?” she smiled and her voice and countenance soften. ”I was the king last and the order I gave was for you to stay with me. Therefore, you must stay with me.”

I guess that command can be interpreted in that manner. But... It still doesn't seem right. For some reason, I'm afraid. This rapidly beating heart in my chest, it was beating fast due to the adrenaline that had generated out of my fear. But what's confusing to me was... what is it that I'm afraid of? It feels as if I sort of know the answer but don't at the same time. It's just so blurry and so hard to concentrate on as it laid at the very depths of my abyss of a flower garden.

”I'm not going to do anything,” she whispered. ”We're not in that kind of relationship. You're just my companion until I die, so isn't it right for you to spend as much time as possible by my side?”

For some reason, her confirmation of our relationship seemed to quell that frightened beast within me, lulling it back into a slumber. In addition, that answer that I was seeking seemed to disappear along with the question, leaving me simply myself as I stood there considering my options. But... am I truly myself if I ignore what was calling towards me from the depths of my heart? Did the dark flowers within my garden truly drown out every other colored flower?

After turning off the lights, I slowly walked over to my bed. From the faint light that spilled through the curtains, I could see Luna's face in the darkness. On her face was a smile as her eyes seemed to sparkle in the dark. With a deep breath, I climbed onto the bed and rested my body underneath the warm, downy bed covers and my head on one of my two soft pillows with Luna taking the other one.

My bed was simply a double bed, meaning that it wasn't very large. Therefore, when two people are laying down on it, it's necessary for the two to lie close to each other, often at the point where their shoulders seemed to almost touch. For Luna and I, the condition still applied as we laid close together on my bed with our head close to the others. I could feel the back of my left hand brushing against something smooth and soft, and if I had to guess, I believe it was the side of her right thigh. This soft and smooth texture made my heart race, and I was extremely thankful for the darkness since it meant that if I were to have a physical reaction, then it would be extremely difficult to see.

”Alevian,” I heard Luna's gentle and soft voice from the pillow to my left. ”What're your plans for the future?”

”M-me?” I turned my neck and looked over in her direction. I immediately blushed and became paralyzed as I realized that she was looking right into my eyes and how close our faces were.

”Yeah,” she smiled. ”I want to know what you're plans are after you graduate high school. Since... you know... I won't be around to see it all.”

”Right...” I frowned at the thought of her absence on my graduation. But then... that's inevitable. It's not even certain whether or not Luna would still be alive for her own graduation... ”I haven't entirely decided yet, but I guess I'll continue with school and attend our school's affiliated college.”

”That's nice,” I heard her softly chuckle. ”So I guess you're going the traditional route of acquiring a degree and then starting to work?”

”Yeah...”

”What about your future even beyond that?” She then asked. ”What would your job be? What type of woman would you like your wife to be? How many kids would you want?”

”I've never thought of all that, but... why're you asking me all that?” I looked over at her out of genuine curiosity as to discover why she wanted me to inform her of my future plans. I had hoped that by looking at her face I would be able to find a clue of some sort, but... I was still unable to read entirely what she meant with that happy smile on her face as she stared up at the ceiling.

”Because I won't be around for all that,” she responded in a carefree manner. ”I won't be able to have you pay for a meal since you've found yourself a job, won't be able to attend your wedding, and won't be able to celebrate your child's first birthday. I just want to hear about it from you and die knowing that at least I have a general idea of how the rest of your life will go once I'm gone.”

That's why...

I immediately understood her intent now that she explained it all in blank terms to me. She won't be able to live long enough to see everybody mature and have families of our own. She must not want to be left out of any of those events, yet she will never make it to one of them. It's just physically impossible with her impending death date... It was only when she forced me to consider a longer time interval that I truly recognized how short her life will be. Her biological clock will stop at around the eighteenth year while ours will continue to run long past that. Even the time we had spent together when put into perspective of the average human lifespan seems minuscule with it only being around two months and exactly how much longer we will have together being an unknown number. These few months that I've spent with her, it's so minuscule when put into perspective yet it holds such a great significance in my life.

Maybe... maybe I should allow myself to communicate to her my true feelings in their entirety. Maybe I shouldn't hide any of it from her and allow her to have access to the unedited version of it all. Maybe I should release the sealed away emotions and allow themselves to be able to be communicated to her. We don't have much time left together and I don't want to have any regrets. Even though the rain clouds have concealed the beautiful moon up above, I know that it's up there. It's actually laying down right next to me. I want the moon to be eternal. I want it to be with me until the end of my life.

”Luna,” I finally said aloud after mustering up courage to do so. I turned my neck to look over at her, knowing that if I was to confess it all, I must be looking her in the eye. ”I—”

Her eyes were closed and on her face was a content smile. Her breathing was soft and gentle, leading to her chest moving up and down slightly. In her sleep, she appeared to be so calm and tranquil, appearing almost as if a sleeping beauty where she played in the utopia that is her dreams. Like an innocent and pure goddess, she rested their. If death truly is an eternal slumber, then I wish that she will have pleasant dreams. Maybe in that dream of hers, her wishes will come true.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes as well.

My confession for her... I didn't have the opportunity to communicate with her that night. However, I wasn't worried. We still have time together. One day, I'll tell her. One day...