53 Disappointmen (2/2)

As I finished, I stared off into the distant sky, disappointed at myself for my pessimistic attitude. However, I understood the reason why I was so reluctant to accept that notion: I'm afraid to be hurt. I don't want to foolishly open up myself to others, devoting all my emotion into relationships just to find out that it was only one-sided. A true heart to heart relies on both sides to open up their hearts, but the scary thing is that a heart might be closed up so easily. Relationships are just so fragile, that I'm afraid to establish them....

”I'll see you later then,” Emilia expressed her goodbyes to me as she walked past me and exited the school campus through the front gates. Then, she continued walking down the street outside until she disappeared at the corner not too far from where I was located.

With a sigh, I took a step towards the school gate as well, thinking to myself that maybe it was time for me to leave. However, I was stopped by a familiar voice that called out to me.

”Wait!”

I turned around just to see Irina. She had changed out of the cheerleading outfit that was needed for her part in the film and was currently dressed in her own school uniform that she wore to the set from school. She appeared quite cheerful, almost as if nothing had happened earlier. I was amazed by this transformation for that smile on her face felt real and genuine, almost as if she's removed all barriers between herself and me, or maybe with the outside world completely. I couldn't tell.

Anyways, that cheerful look on her face further told me that things went well with her and that whatever it was that had bothered her did not exist anymore. Her father had returned to replace that demanding agent of hers.

”I wanted to thank you,” she said in a slightly embarrassed tone. ”Sorry for doubting you all that time... I didn't know why you would help me and thought you might be after something else from me. To be honest, I still don't know even till now.”

”Helping you wasn't of my own accord,” I said to her. ”However, I cannot say that I wasn't emotionally invested in it myself. You have no need to worry. I'm not after anything else.”

As I finished the last part of my sentence, for some reason it felt as if I had just received a sting to my heart, almost as if I was lying or something. However, I was quite certain that I wasn't for what would I seek from her?

”Oh and the pictures,” I mentioned the tool that I had used to convince her to let me help her once again, but before I could say anything further about them, Irina interrupted me.

”You didn't take any,” she said with a calm smile.

”What would make you think that?” I then asked, curious as to why she would think that way.

”I don't know,” she responded. ”But... it's just that you don't look like the type of person that would do that.”

”You trust me despite only knowing me for a few hours?”

”I know this might sound stupid,” she laughed a genuine laugh. ”But... I feel like you can be trusted.”

My eyes widened ever so slightly from shock, but I did my best to conceal it.

”I just wanted to thank you for now,” she said, turning around in the direction of the school, probably to meet up with her father so that they may head home together. ”Thank you for helping me, Alevian.”

She displayed a smile that I would admit was quite attractive and charming, almost of an innocent spirit, filled with pure innocence. It was a genuine smile like I've said earlier, but for some reason I felt as if that smile of hers was directed to the me that's caged up within my facade.

It was a genuine smile like I've said earlier, but for some reason I felt as if that smile of hers was directed to the me that's caged up within my facade

Then, I watched on as she ran off towards her resting area which was located further in the school. As she vanished after turning the corner, I could feel that faint smile on my face disappear and in its place was a look of great disappointment. My arms felt weak as they dropped by my sides and my mind was filled with anguish and remorse.

Slowly, I reached into my pocket and took out my phone. Then, I navigated to the Pictures app and opened it. Stored within it was the pictures of her that I had taken in secret of her changing. I had originally planned to use them as blackmail material, but... her trust in me made me feel a severe guilt that weighed down on my chest heavily. It pained me that I had disappointed her trust, which was weird since I barely knew her.

”I'm such a scum...” I whispered aloud as I deleted those pictures for good and promised myself that I would never do such a thing to disappoint her again.