46 Club Activity (1/2)

As I slid open the door to the club room, I continued staring in the direction that Irina had went off in. Her departure was an odd one, something that intrigued me. It's rare enough for me to meet a celebrity, but it's even rarer for me to find someone who shares a similar characteristic with me.

Her loneliness is similar to mine. She's constantly surrounded by people, always in the spotlight, the center of all events. Therefore, she has the socialization abilities. However, she's still lonely. For me, I lack the socialization skills and am never in the center of anything, and yet the two of us, polar opposites, share a similar loneliness. Now, what is the cause of this? I think by the false nature of human interactions. Everyday, when we interact with people, you might think you know them well, but when you truly think about it, you don't know anything about the other person. And yet you all are constantly engaging in interactions despite barely knowing anything about the human being standing in front of you. It comes back to the same issue with humanity: a lack of a true heart to heart conversation.

This heart to heart is what Muria and Loyd admire, something that I had put down as a mere fantasy, a fairy tale that exists only in the dreams of one's childhood. However, even if it's a fantasy, it is something that I desire for as well. However, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of such heart to hearts because you never know if it's true or not. Human beings are creatures that often change. In addition, human nature is too complicated, the most complicated aspect of life. It is something that no one can truly understand. No one knows why we have emotion, where it came from. All we know is the meaning behind these feelings that we call ”emotion” and attribute it to what makes us human: our humanity. However, animals have emotions too. Creatures like dogs and cats feel joy, feel sadness, feel fear. So what is it that truly makes humans special? I think it is our ability to know loneliness and our desire to strive to avoid this loneliness as much as possible. It is humanity's fear of loneliness that led to them creating personas of themselves and unite so that they're protected from the dangers of the outside world.

That structure is the basis of human society and it is the basis of modern socialization. People put on masks and hide behind personas so that they can feel a sense of belonging. They pretend to be someone they're not so that they can belong in a clique and antagonize those who aren't like them. Therefore, the world that we live in is a living hell filled with disgusting and selfish monsters.

Because of this, I thought as I slid the door closed behind me., Because of this hell that I constantly traverse through, if there is such a thing as the Garden of Eden, where humans can have true happiness and leisure, if we can free ourselves of such complicated emotions and focus on being honest to others, if there is such a place, then I want to go there. But with whom? I don't know exactly. If I can find people I can trust, people that I can trust my entirety to, my entire personality, myself, then... that Garden of Eden isn't an unreachable dream. If that is the case, then... who cares about such missions sent by the Socialization app?

”Hello,” Loyd greeted me with a smile. ”Who were you talking to?”

”That girl Irina was standing in front of the door,” I revealed to him and Muria, who sat in a chair by the window.

”What did she need?” Loyd asked.

”I don't know,” I said as I sat down in one of the empty chairs. ”She just said hi and left.”

”Is that so?” Loyd smiled. ”If she needs anything, then she'll come back.”

”I suppose.”

I leaned back in my chair and began looking around the room. This room wasn't as big as a classroom, probably only about half the size. There's only a few chairs set out with extra chairs stacked in the corner. In the center of the room, a long rectangular table was set in which the three of us sat around.

”So,” I said as I noticed that the notification of my mission's completion had arrived and that my SP balance had increased. ”What're we supposed to do for our club activity?”

”Hmm.”

Loyd brought his right hand to his chin as he sat there thinking. I allowed the hand that I held onto my phone with to drop to my side as I looked over at him. He was just sitting there with his homework notebook opened in front of him, leading me to believe that he had been working on his homework. I then shifted my gaze over to Muria who sat near the far wall by an open window, using the natural lighting to illuminate the novel she held in her hands.

A gentle wind blew in through the same window, moving Muria's hair and flipping the pages on Loyd's notebook before the breeze hit me. It caused me to shiver as the cool autumn breeze gently caressed my face and my exposed forearms.

”Man it's cold,” I shivered as I rubbed my arms so as to produce enough heat to warm myself. ”When do we switch to Winter uniforms?”

”Once it's October,” Loyd responded to me. ”And as for what you were asking earlier, to be honest, I don't know myself.” He smiled innocently as he finished.

”Oh well,” I sighed as I got up from my seat and grabbed my school bag. ”If there's nothing to do, then I'll head home for the day then.”

I walked over towards the closed door. Just as I reached out my hand to slide the door open, the door opened by itself, revealing the familiar faces of Mura and Emilia.

”What're you doing?” Mura asked me with a smile on her face. That smile sent shivers down my spine as she didn't even bother to conceal that threatening aura she elicited.

”I was just going to use the restroom...” I made up a random excuse as I succumbed to the pressure.

”Well, you can go later,” Mura said as she patted me on my head and turned me around. ”Go have a seat.”

I started for the chair that I had left, and, as I sat down, I realized Loyd had already retrieved two chairs from the neatly stacked pile in the corner and set them down in what appeared to be the front of the room for Mura and Emilia, our two guidance teachers for our club.

”Will you two be here after school as well for the club activities?” I asked with a hint of insecurity in my voice.