87 I Was Wrong 33.2 (1/2)
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I stand outside her door. I know I shouldn't leave. I shouldn't run this time, but when Jack pointed out how I had physically tried to hurt her. It be understandable to think I might do so again, and it ate at me. I wanted to argue and tell him it never fucking happens, but it had. My jealousy took over and I hurt her. There are all kinds of men surrounding her and falling for her; wanting her attention. Unknowingly she gives it to them. I'm normally an over confident man but I have done some awful shit to her and she as already told me no to marriage out of love. Who's to say she won't decide someday she wants more then just me since I am trying to convince her to do it for the clans for our friendship. Yes, there's still the attraction but if she tired of me, I don't think I could stand sharing her and I might hurt her if I found out she was seeing someone else on the side. The sound of the door opening and closing made me look up from my clouded thoughts.
”You're still here?” Jacks eyebrow raised in disapproval with his arms folded over his chest.
”I had another phone call with information but decided to wait till you too where done before interrupting.” I lie. I don't need to but honestly, I felt like an idiot standing out here like a lost puppy dog scratching at the door begging to be let back in.
”You better not hurt her again or I swear to god no one will save you from what I will do to you Lord Feng.” With those words Jacks head and shoulders sank and walked off. Once he rounded the corner. I tapped on her door Pathetic as it is, I was a lost puppy begging for his owner to let him in at this point. I hadn't gotten my release elsewhere earlier not that I would have been able to and I know it. To top it off having her so close and finally starting to understand what she's thinking and what's going on I can't stand the thought of not being near her, not having her. I wanted to hate her with every fiber of my being but turns out that's impossible even if she doesn't believe me. Instead of seeing her as the enemy, the child of the woman who brought my mother's death, I can only see the woman I love about to follow same fate as my mother. I can't sit by like the powerless boy I was and watch another person I love break and die because of this life.
The door creaked open and I was met with her tired but beautiful face. ”Ren, why?” Before she would finish, I pushed the door open little more scooping her close to me needing to feel her warmth. I closed the door locking it behind me as I kiss her gently.
”Come beautiful let's get you to bed, we can talk tomorrow.”
”You're staying here.” She looks up at me questioningly.
”If you say I can.” I watch as she tilts her head almost gazing into my face questioningly.
”I just want to tuck you in I'll go shower and then I swear all I will do is hold you nothing else if that's what your worried about.” A wicked smile covers her face.
”Here I thought you where going to **** me, anything to make sure I was pregnant, so I'd have no choice but to marry you.”
I smile ”Honey if you want me to take advantage of you all you have to do is ask. No will it make you feel better if it's ****, so you don't have to admit you want me as much as I want you?”
”How on earth did you ever get such a big head, I was just testing your resolve.” I entangle my fingers into her hair pulling it back.
”I can show you my resolve if that's what you want.” I whisper in her ear. Her body loosens then tightens again as if fighting to keep up it's defenses.