14 Phobia (2/2)
”Hmm.” I nodded and rested my head in his shoulder again. ”It's warm here with you. I'll be better in no time.”
Shawn hugged me closer to him as if shielding me from danger.
***
It was nearly evening. We have went to at least three houses more. Shawn was driving me back to my hotel.
”I guess I'll pick the house just near your place.” I told Shawn with a smile.
The house was a two story stone house with 5 bedrooms and a pool. It was a great place because it's near downtown but the neighborhood was not crowded. Well it is a neighborhood where the upperclass of N city lives so it is safe and secure.
Shawn just nodded. All the way Shawn's face was serious.
”What are you thinking?” I asked. ”You had that face all afternoon.”
”I'm sorry. I was the one that referred that house by the cliff. I didn't know you had a phobia with heights.” Shawn said guiltily.
”It's not your fault.” I said and reached his hand and held it. ”I never told you I was afraid of heights. So it's fine.” I smiled at him.
He smiled sadly at me. He took my hand that was holding his and kissed it gently. All the way to the hotel he didn't let go of my hand.
***
Gerald was sitting at a bar drinking whiskey when Shawn arrived.
”Hey man.” Gerald nodded to him. He gestured at the bar tender for a glass of whiskey. The bar tender put the whiskey on a glass and added ice and gave it to Shawn.
Shawn sat beside Gerald. He drank all the contents of the glass in one gulp.
”Hey Shawn dude take it easy.” Gerald was surprised. Shawn was not man fond of alcohol. But if he drinks that fast then that means he has some kind of problem. ”What's the matter?”
”Jill.” Shawn answered.
Gerald was puzzled. ”What about Jill?” he asked.
”I am 100% that Queenie is Jill.” Shawn said. ”She had amnesia 8 years ago. She was found by the shore near their villa by her now adoptive brother Troy Versales.”
Shawn gripped the glass hard his heart started to ache. ”Bar tender another glass please.” he said.
Gerald was quiet and trying to process this information. The bar tender gave another glass to Shawn.
Shawn took a sip at his glass. ”Queenie and I took a look at a house near a cliff overlooking the sea today.” Shawn continued. ”Jill loved that kind of scenery back in the past because her mother. But now seeing the cliff and hearing the waves she was terrified.” he continued.
Gerald didn't need to be a genius to put two and two together. Any person that had a near death experience in anyway will be terrified to come close to it again. That, he knew it was one evidence that Queenie is Jill.
”It's my fault Gerlad. It's my fault why she became like this.” Shawn was in agony. He took another sip from his glass.
”Shawn don't punish your self even further. Now you are sure she is Jill you can make up for your past mistakes.” Gerald tried to comfort Shawn. ”What are you planning now?”
”I want her to remember but also there is a side of me that doesn't want her to.” Shawn was having conflicts. ”I love her, I love her so much. I want her to remember me, remember that our love started in the past. But I'm also afraid. What if she remembers? What if she despises me when she remembers how I have abandoned her because of a one time fault she has made. That I didn't gave her another chance, even a chance to explain.”
Gerald was at a loss. He doesn't know what to say. He was also Jill's best friend and he knows how he also despised Shawn after what happened.
”If she despised me, I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her again Gerald. I can't lose her again.” Shawn said. ”This past 8 years I felt empty, like I was just a doll. Working and working but can't feel anything. When she came back I feel whole again. I can't lose her this time. I can't bear to.” agony was all over his face.
Gerald gave Shawn a pat at his shoulder. They continued to drink in silence.