43 The Phoenix (1/2)

I closed my eyes and endured the prickly sensation in my chest. I can feel my heart hurt like it is being pricked by needles.For years, I thought that my life is perfect as it is. That I am satisfied and nothing needs to be changed; but one day I realized that I was just being too naive.

When Vincent introduced his girlfriend to me, I felt like I was the stupidest person in the world for thinking that everything will stay perfect forever. I am a prideful person, so I thought that showing my weakness will only bring shame so I acted the same. Smiled and moved the same.

I comforted myself by saying that I was just being jealous for losing the full attention of a friend. A friend who have been with me for a very long time. The friend who is more familiar to me than my own family.

I stayed nonchalant for two years, as he happily lived his life. I don't even know when the feeling of friendship turned into love. The boy who worked hard to charm me finally succeeded but it was too late for me to say anything. How can I tell him that he finally succeeded in making me fall when he himself fell for someone else? Seriously, how can I be this stupid?

Never fell in love? Never experienced heart ache? Lies! They were all lies. At first I thought that I was just being selfish, so I said to myself that I should be happy for him. Happy that he found someone who can reciprocate his feelings.

I didn't want to be tied down by my feelings so I hid it. Hid it in the darkest corner of my heart, but every time he smiles at me and look at me with genuine care and worry my heart would pound fast and hard as if the feeling that I have imprisoned in my heart wants to jump out and explode.

But every time he shows his care and worry for Alyssa, my heart would ache like its being pierced ruthlessly. The worst part is that I need to smile brightly while enduring the pain. I really am a good actress. Maybe I should consider joining the entertainment industry like what my mother wanted. With my beauty and talents, I'm sure I will be a superstar in no time.

I bitterly smiled, as I looked at my reflection in the car's glass window. I believe that trials in life never exempts anyone, beautiful or not everyone have to face their own ordeals. My ordeal is obviously my heart.

”Alys-” he said breaking the awkward silence between us; but I abruptly interrupted him because I do not want to continue our previous topic.

”Where did you get the invitations?” I said, my gaze still at the scenery outside the moving vehicle.

He was silent for a while before saying ”I asked my older brother to help. He is acquainted with the elders of the Yuan family, they usually go to Vinz's hospital for check-ups and other medications.”

”I see. What did he ask in return? I'm sure Vinz won't willingly help you without anything in return.” I said, curiosity evident in my voice.

”Nothing” he said in a calm indifferent voice.

I moved my head and stared at him. ”What is it? Tell me.” I said to him.

He sighed and said ”The phoenix.”