28 Lawrence - I Should have Let Him Kill You (1/2)

In silence, we both followed the Emperor to his private chambers. The room was warm and inviting, somehow intimate. ”If you two young folks will excuse me for a minute I would like to talk to you both. Would you please wait for me here?”

Serina just casually said, ”Sure,” as if being in the Emperor's presence was an everyday event for her.

The Emperor had vanished out a door, not even taking the time to listen to our replies, taking for granted that we would comply. We stood there, facing each other, lost in our individual thoughts.

The last time we had faced one another. I was on the wall on the Duke's base on the forest moon. I don't know its real name or even if it has one. In my mind, I merely called it ”Endor.” I recalled the flash of silver in the air and felt again the impact as the star smashed square into my sternum.

Drawing on all my courage, I said ”I should have let him kill you, but I love you too much, even after you tried to kill me. I know that you were just a pawn, but you did cooperate with them. Don't worry, I won't give you away. The Emperor seems to think that you were on his side, I won't say any different.”

She just stood there, her mouth open, too stunned to say anything. I continued, ”For the rest of my life I will know that I could have eliminated one more threat to Empire and I couldn't. I can't kill you now in cold blood, so you will just have to go on living 'till that blackness inside you, eats you up.” She crumpled, sobbing, to the floor and I turned and left, not caring to face the Emperor when I was so patently unable to do my job.

Imp had been quiet during this whole scene, now as I approached a Port, he said: ”It's programmed for home if you want to go.” I heard Serina sobbing my name as I stepped through and found myself back on Terra.

I had a lot of loose ends to tie up. I called and let Jack know what had happened, and arranged for an extended leave. I had to do a lot of apologizing to my mother and Diana, but in the end, they forgave me, and we scheduled our wedding with almost unseemly haste. Somehow I just couldn't put myself back in the picture —Diana was just as soft and cuddly as ever, maybe even more so now that she knew that we were getting married. However, the minutia she talked of was so far below me now that I had dealt with matters galactic in scope, and no matter how hard I tried, I always had visions of Serina popping up in my head at the most inconvenient times.

My mother was disappointed that I would not get married according to our church as she had planned for years. At least I was finally getting married; she would have other opportunities to convince me that the Church was the way to go.

Finally, we stood before the Bishop who was to conduct the civil ceremony, I would concede at least that much for my mother, as he went through the beginning of the standard, ”till death, do you part,” ceremony. He had reached the ”If any man knows why this couple should not be married, speak up or forever hold your peace—” when a commotion started in the back of the chapel.

Two Imperial Marines in full Dress blacks thrust open the door, and their stomp to attention rang out echoingly in the silence of the room, one marine on each side of the doorway. The Emperor entered, his voice booming out loudly, ”I know of a reason!”

Suddenly the chapel became even quieter, as every person stopped even breathing because of shock. The Emperor strode to the front of the chapel and stood in front of Diana and me. He looked me square in the face, challenging me to contradict that which he had not said.

I looked at Diana, my face a study in agony, ”It's true” I whispered. Her eyes filled with motherly concern and confusion. ”It's all right” Diana whispered, ”I've known for some time now that your whole heart wasn't with me.”

I turned back to the Emperor, pain flooding my eyes. I knew now that I loved Serina more than any man had ever loved any women. Indeed, I had always known it; I just wouldn't admit it to myself before. It really didn't matter to me what she had been, I had fallen in love with the women that I had spent that evening on Caribbia talking to about our hopes and dreams, despite my resolve not to. Even now I found it difficult to resolve the difference between the Serina that had graced the seas and evening in Caribbia and the one that had plotted with Cynthia to kill the Emperor.

That she loved me was evident by the fact that she had talked the Emperor himself into intervening, even though he might find out just what part she had played in the conspiracy. However, she was what she was, and I owed it to my Emperor to tell him the truth no matter the personal cost. ”Sir, I do indeed truly love another but what you don't understand is that she was an agent of—” My voice had started out strong and faded with each word until it was so low that only the Emperor was close enough to hear me.

He interrupted me; gently his hand lifted my head so that I was forced to look into his warm gray eyes. His voice was low, so low that only the Bishop and Diana could hear what he said. ”You left too soon. I told you that I wanted to talk to you. The one you knew as Serina was my agent, and she does indeed love you with all of her heart, in spite of trying not to. Won't you give her a chance to explain?”

I looked back in wonderment, comprehension slowly penetrating my mind. Serina was now standing by the Emperor's side holding Diana's hands, her eyes full of concern. She was dressed in a plain silk gown, golden in hue, which flowed clingingly over every curve. She was more ravishing than Diana had ever thought of being, all fancied up as she was with lace and pearls where ever there was an excuse to put lace and pearls.

”Do you really love him?” Serina calmly asked Diana, her eyes pled for the answer that she hoped for.

”No,” Diana said in a small voice, ”But I did once, and I felt I owed him and my family honor this if he wanted it.”

The two women talked with that silent communication that sometimes can exist between women. Somehow as I looked into Diana's eyes mirrored in Serina's eyes, I understood the silent communion between the two. I saw that Diana still loved me, but with more of a motherly love, she was concerned for me. However, the romantic love that we had known had slowly left her as she had waited for me. She was marrying me out of duty and family pride. I could see her acceptance of the situation echoed in Serina's eyes, as they filled with knowledge that this was not hurting Diana.

Serina turned her head so that she could see me. Our eyes met, volumes were spoken of acceptance and forgiveness, but mostly of love. I looked back at Diana, staring intensely into her eyes, ”Thank you,” I whispered, ”I will never forget you.” I held her close for one last time.

I looked back at Serina and the Emperor. He just smiled as he put her hand in mine, she grasped it as if she had been drowning and I had stretched forth my hand to save her from a watery death.

”She is not mine anymore. You will have to take care of her now,” the Emperor said. The crowd that had come to see us married had been whispering among themselves. Even if awe, over having the Emperor of the known universe present, would have kept their voice low, the full platoon of Imperial Marines, with Disrupters at the ready, now filling the back of the chapel certainty would have reduced any tendency for things to get out of hand.

The Emperor turned to our friends and raised his hand, there was instant quiet. ”The wedding you hoped to witness will not go on as planned. Please excuse this interruption; I request that you stay here until I return….”