216 The Apology 14 (1/2)
”I don't quite know the history behind it but from how I see it, the word means the coming together of two individual 'happiness' [1]. Two individuals, two families coming together to create something joyful,” Xiu Ling explained.
Joann imagined the chinese characters in her mind and she nodded after giving it some thought, ”You have a point.”
”This suggests that marriage is a partnership,” Xiu Ling continued. ”Each party has to contribute to the marriage to ensure that joy is maintained. One cannot exist without the other in the marriage.
”I know this might sound like a cliche but marriage needs work. If only one party is contributing, then the joy formed would be one-sided. You need two individual happiness [1] to join together to create the word, joy [2].”
Xiu Ling hoped Joann understood what she was trying to express.
She continued, ”And if you notice, both happiness was written in the same way, they're a perfect reflection of each other in the word, joy. This means that both party have to work equally as hard so they can reap the same amount of joy from the marriage. If only one party is putting in the effort and both parties are consuming the joy in the marriage, it's understandable that someone will eventually feel hollowed-up. They're doing the work of two person even though they're just one. And we have to ask, when happiness gets spread too thin, is it still happiness? Marriage is not only a task but it is also an equilibrium.”
Xiu Ling was done giving her advice. Joann took a sip of her drink and seemed to ruminate on what her best friend had said.
”Xiu Ling, thank you for your advice. You've given me plenty to think about. I will consider what you've said when I make my decision. You've been a wonderful help,” Joann said.
”I'm glad that I'm able to help somehow. Know that no matter the decision that you made, I will support you.”
Joann nodded. She remembered her mother-in-law saying something similar to her not that long ago. Even though the affair was a regrettable event, Joann could not say she regret finding out about it. For one, it helped her realize how fortunate she was to be blessed with such good and supportive friends and family; for another, she was given a whack in the head about the problem in her marriage. She was being too complacent before this much needed wake-up call. It felt like her eyes had been opened.
It was as Auntie Xiu had said, she would need to fight if this was something worthwhile. However, the problem was Joann was not quite sure whether this was something worth fighting for or not. Thankfully, she had something planned that would help her find that out.
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