35 Chapter 29: Are You a Boy or a Girl?; An Unexpected Developmen (2/2)

At any rate… Hm?

Wait sec.

I take my eyes off my reflection and looked at Fleur.

Fleur: ”…”

Unexpectedly, I found her wearing a baffled expression. Much like she saw something unbelievable. She opens her mouth but closes it the next instant, as if she wants to say something.

Anyways, not that. There's a point to notice, that's what.

Ciel: ”Purin. Don't you think I quite look a lot like Fleur?”

Purin: ”… Purin hates to admit it, however, yes. Thou definitely appears to be similar to Milady in that form, purin.”

Just as I thought. I do look a lot like Fleur. If you imagine Fleur being a bit older than what she looks like right now, that's how I look.

Listening to our conversation, Fleur joined our conversation.

Fleur: ”Th-That is… C-Ciel is…”

She's having a hard time choosing her words, as her eyes diverts all around the place.

Purin: ”Milady.”

Fleur: ”… I know.”

Fleur is now wearing a sour expression while looking at me. As if she wants to say something but is holding it back. Placing her hand on her chest, she smiled wryly.

Fleur: ”You look almost exactly like… my mother. Ahaha… Even the voice… sounds almost the same. Y-You look a bit younger, however.”

Certainly, my voice sounds different from when I was a human. And now that she mentions it, it does sounds higher than a man's.

On the other hand…

She's trying to make it sound like it's something trivial, but… It's clear on her face that she's forcing herself to do so.

Ciel: ”… I see.”

That explains her reaction and current reaction.

I know there's nothing to feel guilty about, but a word of apology is starting to form in my throat. But I swallowed them before I got the chance to say them. I know that's not what Fleur wants to hear was well.

Fleur: ”…”

I look at her straight in the eyes.

She stares back at me with swirling emotions. I can actually feel them through the Link. But it looks like she's holding something back. She wants to say something, but she can't. Or more likes, she can't find the way to do so.

She opens her mouth, just to close them again.

Noticing the current state of her master, Purin pushed her back and Fleur was forced to take a step towards me.

I know where this is going. If that's what can make Fleur happy, then I'm more than happy to oblige.

Ciel: ”Do you want to say something, Fleur?”

I'm not her mother, of course. I can't be her mother.

I'm a guy. Even with that said, I still also can't be her father.

But… from the short amount of time I spent with her, talking, sharing our own stories, fighting alongside each other, spending the days travelling with her and Purin, I've come to learn to treasure her.

That much is true.

That's why, if I can make her happy, have her at ease just by being a shadow of her mother, and let her vent out her own feelings, then I'm more than happy to do that for her.

Fleur: ”… A-Ah…”

Her mouth still opening and closing, she still can't bring out the words she wanted to say. I waited for her patiently.

And smiled.

Ciel: ”Hm?”

Fleur: ”I-I am sorry, Ciel… J-Just this time… Y-You can forget about… e-everything later…”

Ciel: ”Mhm.”

She gingerly walked towards me with tears forming at the corner of her eyes.

Fleur: ”… I am sorry… M-Mama… I'm so… Uu… sorry…”

Just as I thought.

Ciel: ”…”

I won't answer. Of course. I'm not her mother. I know she knows that enough as well.

But letting her say the things she bottled up until now…

Fleur: ”I d-did not mean to do it… *sniffle* Mama… I did not want to do such things…! *sob* I am so sorry…!”

Unable to contain her emotions, she jumped towards me and wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her face on my chest. I was almost pushed back by the force, but I stood still to receive all her emotions.

Her pent up tears.

I felt her grip tighter than I expected but I let her do as she pleases. I know I shouldn't do anything here, but… I return her embrace.

This, at least, will do.

Fleur: ”*sob* I am sorry, Mama! *hic* Uu… I am sorry I hurt you… *hic* and Papa…! *sniffle* Uu… Ma- *hic* Waaaahh…!!”

Even though she acts mature, she really is still a child inside. That has to be expected, I know.

I rubbed her back as she let everything out.

Like a dam bursting out from all the pent up emotions she carried all these years, she let them out with a mellow cry. The feelings of regret, sorry, loneliness, longing, her love for her mother and father, everything that she thought she had already buried and forgotten.

If I can receive all of those…

Fleur: ”Waaaaahhhh…! *sob* Mamaaaaaa…!!”

She raised her head to look at my face. Bitter tears once again fell down her already drenched cheeks; her brows wrinkle into the middle. She let my waist go from her arms' tight hug and went to wrap them around my neck for a closer embrace.

That's when I realize.

The feelings she was carrying was not something trivial as losing someone. It's not something that she can just bottle up and forget.

She lost her parents.

She lost her everything.

She lost her own self.

And all those are done by her own hands. She wasn't even aware that she did it. All she knew that day was she's waiting for her dear mother to come back, waiting eagerly for her warmth. But the next thing she knew…

Fleur: ”Maaamaaaa…!! *sob*”

Just like a snap of a finger, she lost everything she held dear.

Her blissful days was instantly robbed off of her.

And that, is by her own hands.

Now she's finally seeing her long lost mother. The face she thought she would never see anymore. The warmth she thought she would never feel until she die. The mother she thought she had lost forever. Right now, in front of her.

It's understandable that she would be like this.

Fleur: ”I'm sorry…!! *hic* I'm so… sorry…!! *sob* I… I truly love you…!! *sob* Waaaaaahhh!!”

If I'm in her position, I doubt I can do the same as carry the burden.

She's too strong. Too strong for her own good.

That alone is certainly true.

…

..

.

Chapter End