21 Chapter 21 – Conviction (2/2)
”What do you mean. What the hell was I supposed to learn…from that!”
”What did you learn?” Robert repeated himself with a calm tone.
”That was wrong!”
”No!” He scolded. ”What we learn from that, is that everything has a purpose. We kill them to feed thousands of people. The food that you have eaten and will eat, comes from here. You need to learn that everything has a purpose. Even you and I. Everything we do has a purpose and as long as we have a purpose even things like what you saw today, the things that no one wants to do… get done.”
”Know what you want to do and have the conviction to follow it. As long as you have a purpose, everything you do is meaningful. Do you understand?”
”Know your morals and stick to them. Find purpose in what you do and have the conviction to follow through.”
This Final sentence was what changed his outlook on life. In part, this was the reason why he decided to study so hard and get into engineering later on in life.
.....
At this moment Adam had seated himself upon his bed and folded his legs.
He began meditating and entered his soul world.
His chaotic mind began to calm down.
In his soul world, he was in the same position as he was in the outside world. He was seated with his legs folded and his eyes closed.
That sentence his father had told him kept repeating itself in his mind.
”Know my morals and stick to them.” He thought back to earlier that day when he almost decided to change his personality to accommodate his new party member.
”I cannot change my personality. It is formed from my core beliefs. It is the very essence of what makes me…me. I need to mould and perfect it but never completely change it.” He was in an almost enlightened like state as these thoughts smoothed themselves out in his mind.
”Find purpose in what I do… What is my current purpose? I am an adventurer! Adventurers were formed to take on missions. To slay beasts, to deliver items, to explore and most importantly to conquer dungeons!”
”It is the fundamental purpose of an adventurer to slay monsters and complete tasks. To conquer a dungeon I must fight my way through it. How can I do so if I get squeamish at killing simple goblins?”
”Am I that weak-willed?”
”No! Of course not! Harden my resolve. This was only the first step.”
”I have the purpose, so what's stopping me from having the conviction to follow through? Does this go against my morals?”
He spent a long time trying to think of any contradictions.
”No.”
”Then it's settled! Whether it be a monster, a person, a devil or a god, any who come in the way to achieve my purpose… either they move out or I ram my way through!”
Clink!
The sound of something being unlocked rang from the deepest recesses of his soul.
A curiosity to know what the extremes of his path looked like had budded in his heart.
An undying conviction had been born from this experience of his.
”I've never felt this refreshed before.” Coming out of his soul world he took a deep breath of the cool night wind in his room.
After his series of self-reflection, Adam had gone back to sleep.
It was the most comfortable and carefree sleep he had gotten since coming to this world.
The few misgivings he had since coming here had all been dissolved. If there were doubts of him truly accepting this life, then now there was none.
…..
Waking up the next morning and going through his daily routine, he made his way to the dining room with Fen in tow.
Yuki was sitting as per usual in her spot on the table. Sipping slowly the warm tea from the cup she held in her hand.
One of the maidservant girls was waiting on her. The girls who served breakfast would be on rotation. This was the same with all other duties in the lodge. This way all of them would be experienced at all jobs pertaining to the lodge.
Seeing Adam walk in Yuki looked towards him and gave him a smile.
”Goodmorning mother(mistress).” He gave a slight nod and returned the smile. Fen also gave the greeting and bowed deeply.
”Goodmorning. Did you sleep well?” Yuki was giving him a once over with her eyes as if she was looking for something.
”Yes, mother I slept well. I had a few nightmares at the start but I got over it.”
”Oh, what were they about? The nightmares…”
”The goblins I killed.” He said very straightforwardly.
'He seems to actually be over it. That was the first time he took a life. So I was afraid he might be traumatised for a while but…' Yuki was really worried for Adam but he seemed to be completely fine.
Looking again she could not find any flaws in his actions or behaviour.
'He is exceptionally strong-willed.'
'My son will be a great man in the future.' Her eyes shone with a brilliant ray of light.
”Mother what about finding a party member for me?” Adam cut her thoughts short. He was really expectant on this matter.
He couldn't contain himself. He wanted to go back into the dungeon as soon as possible.
”Hmm, it's turning out to be a little harder than I thought. To find someone who meets the requirements we set is really a task.” Yuki shook her head in dismay. It would seem that she did not have much luck on her endeavour the previous night.
”Let us keep that aside for now. There is no point in sending you back into the dungeon at your current level even if we find someone.”
”Come sit and eat. I have a few things I want you to do today.”
”Yes, mother.” Adam went and sat in his usual place with Fen sitting a bit behind him.
The girl who was in charge of waiting on them today got to work and started bringing in cups and dishes.